MayDay Post by Dimeji – My Pikin

So here’s an interesting 6part story by Dimeji and he came up with the novel concept of putting each episode up as a story chain on different blogs. Here’s the 5th of them. Follow the link at the end for the finale on Dimeji’s blog.

Mayday Dimeji


My people dem say ‘to born pikin nahin dey pain woman pass’ but make we tok true, woman wey carry belle for 9 months, wey lie down push comot when all the doctor and nurse dem dey look her yansh, know sey make your pikin die go pain pass. How people go take hear am, sey d pikin wey you born, wey suck your breast, wey you send go school, don finish, do graduation party, tie your gele gogoro make everybody look you dey jealous you just kpai like fowl.   How?

Na so dem talk sey my pikin Olufemi just follow go. Olufemi temi, omo ade, omo ayo, areemo ile baba re, arole mi.

Ha. Aye ma nika o.

Everybody dey house dey cry, hin papa just dey inside room, lock door no gree comot come see all the people dem wey come greet am. Dem talk sey Femi don go. Na lie. Na me born am.  The time wen femi still small, no be me dey know wen hin injure for school? No be me dey clean d injury dem, dey put dettol and plaster? Na me get my pikin and my own pikin, omo temi, never die.

When dem two boys come house today, talk sey dem see Femi dead body for one house wey dem go yesterday hin papa jus fall for ground begin dey do like person wey get warapa.  Useless man, everydey wen d pikin dey house no be so so curse e dey curse am?

“Useless boys, Stupid boys, good for nothing, just like your morrar”

Now e hear sey d boy die e dey roll for ground dey shout “my graduate”. Graduate wetin? No be me dey sweat to carry all my profit from my shop pay all d pikin school fees wen e dey go school go study engineer? D man go look us two dey give money to hin small wife because she go school, she be graduate. Well, my pikin too don become graduate afterall, graduate cancel graduate.  When dem dey do ceremony, na hin cap white pass, na hin shout pass, do party for d whole street dey announce sey hin pikin na graduate. Shior!

Na me get d pikin and my pikin never die. Dem for gree me look d body make I show dem say hin never die. Maybe e dey sleep e no wan answer dem. But Olufemi mi must answer me, emi iya e.

Now I dey look dem dey put hin body for ground, white cloth, I dey beg him papa, make dem no bury am today, make I call Pastor B come. I tell am, sey Pastor B go call my pikin, e go wake, sey na sleep e dey sleep and even if e don die true true, Pastor B go pray, the prayer go wake am. Alahji look me talk sey I dey crase, sey make I go meet my pastor but before sun touch ground dem must to put my pikin for ground.

Na so I jus dey dere dey look dem, won ti e fi posi sin, after them finish dem carry go, I jus dey here dey look the grave. Na only dat Morenike girl remain, iyen ni tie, she jus tanda dey look me. Hmmmn, maybe na she femi wan marry true true, tori pe, before na hin friend Abisola dey find Femi come, den as Femi and Abisola fight, she con dey come find am for house, I go see dem two from my shop dey enter, one time sef I catch dem dey play love play. I want talk, but if I talk Femi go carry mouth, no go chop my food until I beg am. I leave am ni o, after all omo Abisola yen o ti e le wa, even though she sef still dey come do love play for we house, woo Morenike, Abisola, ki ni iyato?

Ha! Femi no even marry, give me one grandpikin to carry. Shebi before if I ask am he go talk sey money no dey, e dey find job. I dey tell am, sey Pastor B don talk am, sey d job wey e want, e go find. But Femi no go comot go find am. E go siddon make d job come, d wan wey come sef e go talk sey d money no reach, sey no be d wan wey e want be dat. E reach somewhere, I come carry my money, all d money wey I get for dis world, give am make e start dat hin business. Na d business con kill am. Olufemi o!

I don call Pastor B sha, e never finish. My Pastor go come, we go do am like Lazarus, e no mean, my Femi go comot from dat ground. My phone begin dey gring, na Pastor B be dat, e don arrive, as I reach gate, return, dey carry Pastor come d place wey dem put am, with Morenike, nahin I see Olufemi mi dey comot from d ground. I shout ‘Pastor! Halleluyah! God has done it!’. Nahin Pastor B cover my mouth, sey no be God be dis.

Morenike jus dey shake for my back.

Pastor B still dey cover my mouth Femi come begin dey waka. I wan bite hin hand, my pikin dey waka comot,  he want make e lost?

“Sister. Listen to me. I did not feel the power of the Lord leave me. This is a machination of the devil. Let us see where he is going first. It might be a coven that wants to use his body. Eaters of flesh and drinkers of blood, then we shall call the Lord down in their midst”

Yeeeeeeeeekpa! Dem wan use my pikin do small chops.  Na so me I follow Pastor B dey follow Femi. Him just dey run, people dey give am space. We dey drive for back, dey speed sef, because the kain run wey my pikin dey run ehn, Jesus! E be like dat time wey dem dey do race go tell david sey Absalom don die. We pass 3rd mainland enter Ikoyi, my pikin still dey go fourforty.

When we stop, we dey front of one big house, Morenike talk sey na here awon ore Femi talk sey dem come work yesterday.  Femi jus dey look dier gate, tanda dey look am. We jus park far small dey look femi. Small time hin waka come back small jus run, jump am. Femi jump d whole gate. All the gate. From ground. Reach up. Gbam. Inside compound. Pastor eye open, my mouth follow open, Morenike jus dey hold chest. True true o! Na witchcraft o! Dem wan chop my pikin.

We jus dey the car dey look like mumu. Some two people dem just appear for d front of the gate, jump am, dem no even wait small, look ground.

“Aha! The coven is arriving. We must attack now. We must!”

I comot my gele, tie am for waist, we must deliver my pikin today by fire by force. “Morenike oya je ka lo“. The girl jus dey look me like panla. Let’s go and do the Lord’s work o de n gbon. Mscheeeeeeew. Me and Pastor B come go d gate. As we near am, pastor B come open hin suit remove one small stick wey get red cloth, d tin be like omorogun but with all dem nkan agba ti won ko si are e, juju ree!

“Ahan. Pastor. But warrisdis. Have we not supposed to go with the powers of Gods almighty”

“Iya Femi, don’t worry. You don’t understand. This is a different level of grace. Let us go in, I will explain later. Show you how to sit in the lap of God. But for now, remember, the Bible says we must be as wise as serpents in this wicked world.”

Na so we go o, as we rish d gate Pastor B push am, d gate dey open, nahin everybody come dey jump since morning. Hian. The house big o! Be like Ooni Palace. As we dey waka go, Pastor B dey hold hin stick dey speak in tongues, I jus dey look my own. When we rish door, one breeze just blow, push the door plus me plus Pastor B for ground. I open eye, Pastor B just dey lie down dey look. Iro o. Dem wan begin chop be dat o. Nahin I run enter, my people, wetin I see. Femi dey dere dey hold Abisola, Femi dey drink im blood. Eaters of flesh and drinkers of blood. Olufemi! Na hin papa pikin!








6 thoughts on “MayDay Post by Dimeji – My Pikin

  1. Pingback: Mayday; Episode 4 | Word_smith

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