A Little Bird Said – The Finale

The Write Right Two Prize Giving is finally here. See the details below

  • Venue: Ember Creek, Awolowo Road, Ikoyi
  • Date: Sunday, March 9th 2014
  • Time: 3Pm to 6PM.

Red Carpet begins at 3PM and the event proper kicks off at 4PM.

There’ll be a song written based on the winning entry. The song is titled WEWE, and it’s written and performed by guitarist Femi Leye and vocalist Nayo.

There’ll also be a painting based on the same winning entry by Ekene Ngige. We’ll be auctioning this at the event.

Vintage fashion label Ma’am will give a free specially made bespoke outfit to Ifeoluwa Watson, the Write Right Two Winner. Ife will also be reading from her winning story.

Finally, we’ll be premiering Baba Risi’s Court, The Animated Episodes at the event.

To attend, simply save the IV below as your e-invite to the event. Hope to see y’all there. Thanks for all the support for Write Right.

TUNDE LEYE4

Esmeralda had come to the house envisaging a full day of erotic frolicking. When she had seen the picturesque house, fairytales sprung into her head and she smiled. The lady she knew only as RC1 had completed the picture that left her salivating. With a smile, RC1 had led her into the single living space. There was a bed in the middle of the room, with white satin sheets, red rose petals scattered all over and scented candles.

“Like it?” she heard RC1 ask. She must have let out some unconscious shriek, she was certain. But she glad she had agreed to come here instead of her hotel room? In the corner, there was a raised platform. At the head of the table was an assortment of erotic toys. RC1 picked a pair of leather padded handcuffs and then patiently began to explain what they would do.

“Here’s how the day will go. You are my slave for the first half of the day. You’ll wear these handcuffs and for starters, I’ll use these leg restraints to strap you to the platform. I will be at liberty to do anything with you and you’ll have to work your way to freedom by giving me every pleasure I desire. The better you are, the quicker you’ll win your freedom from your restraints and then become the master and I the slave. Am I clear?”

Esmeralda nodded like an obedient child, enthralled by the whole arrangement. She moved towards RC1 to hug her but was rebuffed her with a shove. “Who permitted you to touch me slave?”

It took a while for it to sink into Esmeralda that they were already in the role playing game. Obediently, she backed away.

“Good girl. Now, get into the lingerie on the platform and I’ll slip the handcuffs on you and strap you on to the platform.”

************+++++++++++++***************

Acharu arrived at the cottage and retrieved her phone. She had made up two plans in her mind, depending on which of she or Morkly arrived first. She was glad she got here before him, it was the easier scenario. She called up his text message and quickly typed a response to him, instructing him on what to do when he got there. She moved quickly after that, since she didn’t know exactly how long she had before he arrived. She dialed the number she had sent the first text message to and the lady on the other end picked it on the first ring.

“What’s up?” the lady said

“I just got here, I’m at the gate. Do you have her immobilized now?” Acharu asked.

“Yes,” the lady responded.

“Good. I’ll let myself in then. We’re going to have an extra guest at the party. The nutty professor himself is on his way. But I’ve got an appropriate welcome planned for him anyway, so that shouldn’t be an issue. Prepare the restraints for the man”.

With that, she ended the call and looked over at the sleeping man. “We’re back together, you and I, as it should have been.” Then she went down to open the gate and drove in right to the front door of the cottage.

*********++++++++++++***************

It was a good thing he wasn’t driving otherwise he would not have been able to read the text message when it came in. “Ah, she finally got to read my text,” he mumbled to himself when he saw the ID of the sender. He opened it quickly. It was in short, terse sentences, outlining a plan.

“Got your text, great work. We’ll proceed without Senayon. Headed there with men from HQ. They’ll secure the premises while I wait for you by my car. Come Quickly”

Quickly she said. He had been in the traffic at Lekki Toll Gate for more than thirty minutes and it seemed he was only halfway through it. “Billions of blistering bumbling bickering blasted blue barnacles! And that autocrat of a governor has banned okadas. That would have been my saving grace now” he exclaimed in anger. He slumped in the chair and adjusted his neck scarf.

***********+++++++++++**************

“Are we expecting someone?” Esmeralda ventured. She was meant to be the obedient slave, speaking only when spoken to, but if someone else was going to be involved in whatever plans her madam had for her, she thought she should know.

“Shut your dirty little mouth” the lady responded to her.

Unsure if it was merely the character of the madam that had spoken to her or the real RC1, she decided to clarify.

“I’m not asking as the slave dear, I’m asking as me. I just think I should know if…” The pain registered before her mind deciphered that RC1 had just tasered her. She found herself twitching uncontrollably.

“I said shut your husband-hopping dirty mouth!” The lady spoke calmly, but every word was loaded with menace, amplified by the fact that she was tied up, helpless. She opened her mouth, took a huge gulp of air into her lungs and screamed at the top of her voice. The lady waited for her to exhaust herself and then told her with a devilish chuckle “you can scream all you want, but I’m sure you remember how this house looked as you came in. Only the trees will hear you. You are dense, you know that? Anyway, give me a moment.”

With that, she straightened her dress, brushed her hair and went to the door.

***********++++++++*************

From the hole in the fuzzy realm he was floating in, Senayon heard a familiar voice scream. The scream was like a powerful hand pulling him up at breakneck speed and he suddenly burst into the surface of the hole.

***********+++++++++++***********

“Sumbo, where the hell are you? He’s stirring. We need to get him inside and immobilized before he wakes up fully!” Acharu shouted.

She saw her partner was all dressed up. “Vain girl” she thought, remembering the first time she had met this girl. Sumbo had been a broken girl after her breakup with Charles Obaro. She had been the strong one who helped Sumbo recover from the breakup in the self-help group they belonged to. But as if to reverse the situation, she had fed off Sumbo’s anger at men. One evening, they had watched an episode of Deadly Affairs on Crime and Investigation together and all of this Ring Collector business had started as a joke until Sumbo suddenly said “you know we can pull this off and get back at all of them that hurt us?”

***********+++++++++++************

Esmeralda watched in horror as the two women carried a man that looked vaguely familiar in. she couldn’t see well because of the way she was lying down. “Who is he?” she asked.

“Oww, you’ve forgotten the man you bore a child for so soon?” Sumbo asked.

“Senayon? What is this about? Answer me!” Esmeralda asked desperately struggling with her restraints.

Acharu answered this time as Sumbo prepared a syringe with the same substance she had used on their second victim. “Senayon was supposed to be mine, but you had him. Charles did to Sumbo what Fuad did to me. And you my dear did the nasty to Senayon with that pastor and then left him for the baba olowo.”

As Emeralda heard the names, she realized what was happening. These were the people responsible for all those gruesome murders she had read about on the blogs. But all their victims had been men. “So why do you want to kill Senayon then?”

“Why do you assume we want to kill Senayon?” Sumbo asked.

It dawned on Esmeralda that she was the one. She screamed again as they propped a Senayon who looked awake and perceptive but otherwise immobile up against the wall.

“Senayon is the Ring Maker. He’s the fulcrum of all this. He should have fought harder for me, but wasn’t man enough. It was his failure that created me as the Ring Collector. You know, after collecting and destroying all your rings, like the Lord of the Rings, I have to destroy the Ring Maker. So he is here to see the last ring collected and then be destroyed. If I can’t have him, then he shouldn’t be alive.” Acharu said, with Sumbo nodding in agreement at the eerie and illogical logic she just espoused.

Acharu’s phone beeped. Morkly’s text message came in.

“Delayed at toll gate. Now past it and should be there shortly”

“Nutty prof is almost here. Let me go and roll out the carpets. Take this and shoot into the air when you get my text” Acharu said as she handed a pistol over to Sumbo along with a police two way communicator.

In the corner, Senayon watched all, and heard all. His mind was still very active, but his body didn’t move. He recalled reading of such a drug being used by the Ring Collector in Fuad’s murder.

************+++++++++++++**************

Acharu took a crouching position beside her car the moment she saw Morkly’s cab pull into the close and quickly sent Sumbo the text.

***********++++++++++++**************

Morkly was wondering why Acharu was crouched like that when he began to hear the gunshots. He quickly pulled his gun and rolled on the floor to her side as his taxi man sped away without waiting to collect his money. Suddenly, the gunshots stopped. Acharu’s communicator crackled and she reached into the car for it, maintaining her cover. She returned with a smile on her face.

“They’ve got her!” Morkly exclaimed in excitement without waiting to be told. He sprang up and wanted to race into the house but Acharu held him back.

“Cautious approach sir,” she said. “we don’t know if she’s alone or has someone crouching somewhere waiting.” Morkly didn’t know how true that statement was but he calmed down and approached the gate cautiously.

When he entered, he expected to see policemen in position. When he didn’t see anyone, he turned back to tell Acharu something was wrong. She had a gun pointing at him. “Drop your weapon,” she ordered.

“Acharu, what Iscariotish behavior is this?” Morkly asked.

“Drop the damned weapon or I’ll blow a hole through you right here,” she responded.

Morkly saw she was serious. He slowly dropped the pistol on the soft grass by the side of the walkway.

“Now, turn around and walk towards the cottage.”

************+++++++++++++*************

Acharu observed the look of shock on Morkly’s face when he got into the room.

“Yes mister professor, that’s how we outsmarted you. You were looking for one Ring Collector, when in fact, there were two. I collected Charles, she collected Fuad. I collected the pastor and now she is collecting Esmeralda. We will then both destroy the Ring Maker. You, you are just collateral damage. You should not have been able to figure this out, but then again, you were always too smart for your own good.”

With that, they cuffed him to one of the legs of the platform Esmeralda was on. Then, amidst heart-wrenching screams from Esmeralda, Sumbo set about taking her head off as Senayon and Morkly watched in horror.

When she was done, she carefully placed the head on the navel and then took pictures of the gory sight with a phone she pulled out of her tool bag. She tweeted the images and put the hashtags

#ongoingevent #finalringcollection #ringmakergoingdown and then tagged all the people she knew would spread the word on twitter. When she was done, she turned to Acharu and bowed “Final Ring Collection Completed.”

***************++++++++++++++**************

Acharu went forward to look at Esmeralda’s now lifeless body. When they had started, Sumbo had been the queasy one. They were originally meant to start with Fuad, since her own relationship with Fuad was relatively unknown. But because Sumbo wasn’t sure she could go through with such a gruesome killing, they had swapped and Acharu had gone after Charles first. Now, watching how Sumbo finished Esmeralda off, she realized that the girl had come a long way. Suddenly, she felt a pain shoot through her body. She crumpled to the ground wondering “what tha fuck”

************+++++++++++++*************

When she came to, Acharu found herself cuffed to the leg of the platform where Morkly had been before. Sumbo and Morkly were standing over her, while drug immobilized Senayon stared at her unable to move. “What is happening here?” she asked, directing her gaze to Sumbo.

“Why did we collect rings?” Sumbo asked back. When Acharu didn’t answer, she continued. “Because they don’t know what being faithful to the people they love means. They callously leave people that loved them. Now, think about it. Aren’t you being hypocritical here? Who better fits this description but you? You left Senayon for Morkly, left Morkly when he had his troubles and have been using men to climb since. You are just as bad as all the others, if not worse cos you’re a hypocrite.”

“Morkly?” Acharu said, directing her gaze at him.

“I knew all along. You see, I suggested this whole business to Sumbo. Think about it. Who approached who in your self-help group? Who reached out more? Who suggested that you guys embark on this killing spree after you guys watched that Crime and Investigation show that day? Now that you think about it, it’s Sumbo, right?”

Acharu closed her eyes, hit with the realization that Morkly was right. In spite of Sumbo’s seeming reluctance to go along with the killing initially, she had been the one suggesting everything, the plans, the methods, everything all along.

“Sumbo saw through your hypocrisy dear Acharu. You tried to use her but we have ended up using you. You remember the only chance for me to be saved from going to that mad people’s home was your testimony. And rather than give the testimony and save me, you took the deal the police command offered you and refused to testify. You played the good lover for a while but got tired of visiting me. You see, I knew, and I did not forget.” Morkly said.

“But how do you know each other? How?” Acharu asked hysterically.

“Social media has made the world a very small place dear. It isn’t very farfetched that a disillusioned nearly mad professor will meet a popular and disillusioned social media personality. That’s all I’ll tell you about this. Now, remember how you turned away and let me go and run mad in a psychiatric home? I’m about to repay you by turning away now, literarily. Sumbo?”

As he called her, Sumbo walked over to Acharu with the still bloody saw she had used on Esmeralda. As Acharu began to scream, Morkly turned away.

************++++++++++++*************

Sumbo finally did what she had wanted to do since the beginning. She hated Acharu’s guts. Acharu represented all the reasons men gave to justify cheating on women and treating them badly. To cap it all, she saw herself through rose-tinted glasses and blamed everyone else for what her irresponsibility with men brought on her. Stupid fool. She killed with even more viciousness than she had done with her two other victims. The only person she would have killed with more venom was Charles but she didn’t get that chance. She was so engrossed that she didn’t hear a thing. It was only when she was done and Acharu lay in a pool of blood that she turned around and got a shocker. Senayon was standing on his feet alongside Morkly and they both had pistols trained on her.

*************+++++++++++++***************

“Morkly, what the hell is going on?” she asked calmly.

“Collateral damage is inevitable in the best worked plans. You my dear are collateral damage in our plan,” he responded.

“What do you mean OUR plan? The only OUR plan is the one you and I have mister, and it doesn’t involve you and Senayon pointing guns at me,” she said.

“Ah, you assume. You see, the plan was to get these two women without killing them ourselves.” Morkly said.

“How did you break free from the effects of the drug? You are supposed to be able to see and feel without being able to move. How come?”

“Antidote dear, brought in and administered by the professor,” Senayon responded. Then turning to Morkly, he said “We got them both. Now, shall we destroy the evidence?”

With that, they shot Sumbo.

I’ll be taking a break until right after Write Right Two Prize Giving to put together the event and also set the ball rolling on the editing of my next book Guardians of the Seals. See ya with the next series after the Prize Giving

ff on twitter @tundeleye

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128 thoughts on “A Little Bird Said – The Finale

  1. This is the worst story i have ever read. Tunde Leye, this is a sincere critic. This story was so muddled and pointless. The end shabby and unstructured. I cannot believe this is the same person that wrote Finding Hubby, Tricia’s nightmare and broken mirrors. I truly believe you need to sit down and find a new muse because your last 2 stories have been totally off point. This is not an insult. It is just a fact. Take this from somebody who has been your ardent fan from the start.

    • This is exactly what is on my mind..I can’t believe it too..it’s a very dumb story with no proper plot..I can’t believe this is tunde leye’s handiwork.i know it’s a work of fiction but there should be a dose of reality at least.thumbs down for this one tho..

      • I agree with you both. The same thg happened wit d last story. Lovely beginning, sensual middle but tacky finish. Most thgs dont add up. Its like he jst wanted to get it done wit. Tunde, u’ve done well in d past. You can do better.

    • But who forced you to read though? Nobody forced you to read and you didn’t pay a dime. So you can kindly close your browser and stop whining. Please and thank you.

      • Timah abi Timaya…wateva ur name is, why do we have people like you sef? There is a reason why there is a comment box and we are free to share our views about the story we just read. Like it or not, most writers churn out good stories from critics as well.

    • T girl i agree with you jare…the story ended like something i used to read in those tin tin comics way bak den. I expected the ending to be more factual than fiction.

      • Hi Tunde,as a healthy fan& an inspiree(if there is a word like this) of your work,I must truly say the end is not the best of you I have read or intend to read. But you know what they say(good times,bad times….good writes,not soo good writes) i still believe in your ability to deliver awesome stories soooooo here goes nothing.

        Guys y’all need to remember that constructive criticism isn’t supposed to carry the tone or language most of you posted. Cut the Dude some slack Biko

  2. What!!!!OMG! *speechless *trying to recover… Still speechless.. Just twisted! Everyone was working together against each other… Deceit and betrayal!..’destroy the evidence’??they are going scotfree??…oh well.It is a story.Well done Sir!

  3. Tunde sincerely I think you have lost it. I hardly followed this story. It doesn’t make sense at all. What got over you? Don’t force ourself to be what you are not.

    Maybe you need to take a break. A little bird was am absolute crap of a story.

  4. I understand that writing isn’t easy at all, but the end of this story didn’t make sense at all. It seemed rushed and muddled unlike you, TL. Please take a break a come back with something better.

  5. Amazing. I didn’t see this end coming. Really had my heart beating. Wow!!! It literally blew my mind. Thumbs up, TundeLeye. May your cup overflow.

  6. Interesting twist and a more interesting end,seemed a bit rushed but still well organized. Its like something out of a Chris Carter novel…Happily awaiting the next series…TL,in the famous words of The Late Tai Solarin; ” May your road be rough” *winks*

  7. Tunde,I agree with d critics, u need to take a break. I doubt this kinda writings are ur forte. Guess u got tired of writing it & just rushed d final bit,quite disappointing & unlike u. Very “wuruwuruish” ending. So wat happens to Morkly & Senayon? They go scot free or turn d guns on each other? Makes no sense neither does d reasons for the killings. Relatnship breakups happen everyday,if we all went killing each other,d human race wlda been wiped out. I’d feared this was gonna happen with d rate u were shooting out story after story. Take a break bro & come back with something stronger & pls drop the serial killing/psyche stuff,it’s a mess.

  8. TL, kudos and kudos again for this blog and stories and books u have churned out thus far. However, this is def not one of ur works I wl read over and over again cos the finale is an anti-climax.
    Like some other sincere critics, I support u take time off; the Ludlums, Osifisans, Achebes did so.
    U cld serve us more writeups from ur friends/protegees while u prepare a bounce back.
    Bonne chance bro

  9. I loved reading this story until the last two posts because by then it seemed unnecessarily dragged. Sincerely this end doesn’t make sense at all! To me it’s not apt for the story so far, it seems muddled.

  10. I quite understand people saying this story is pointless…but if u watch crime stories better, u will know it’s not…although the ending part shows that he was rushing….i still love d story…Well done Tunde

  11. Wow..No one saw that coming…this a typical James Hardley chase kinda novel..For those that didn’t understand it,well maybe if it was made into a movie,it wld make more sense to y’all..
    So Basically,Acharu nd Sumbo wer d supposed RCs,Sumbo conned Acharu thinking she was Morkly’s partner,sadly she was just an instrument..poor geh..senayon nd Morkly wer the brainbox behind it all..Nice
    P.S TL is a writer,a creative one at that…real writers don’t limit their writing to a particular style,they exlpore their horizon….Y’all shld Think outside the Box 🙂

  12. Woooooow Mr T,pls you make it seem like I was watching first scene of NCIS with the gruesome sight. But sincerely dis is completely ise opolo! I doff my hat. Best line and rhyme’Billions of blistering bumbling bickering blasted blue barnacles!’
    Thanks for making my mondays always

  13. Ok well I don’t like the way it ended it was kinda rushed and not organised….tho I loved it from the start (I no go lie) but wasn’t expecting it to end this way

  14. The ending was kinda rushed. Sumbo? There was no chatacter development for her. Morkly? How? two episodes ago, he was mumbling to himself, using his US contacts to solve the case, now he is the mastermind? Honestly, i thought you would bring Senayon’s daughter as the ring collector, avenging her father’s breakup. Bad ending for a very good story

    • My thoughts exactly! The end is not consistent with the story so far. TL I think you’re a brilliant writer but the finale of this story could have been so much better!

  15. I think you should take a break from writing.Dont know what inspired you to write this story but it’s ur worst work so far..I’ve noticed you start beautifully but by the 3rd and 4th episodes,you just always make it look like a typical Nigerian movie. This story is plotless,pointless and just confused.

  16. Did you notice that all the babes died…just goes to show that men rule!!!!!……….Anyway, I think it could have ended better. Take comments as constructive criticism and not necessarily beef. There is a reason we come here every Monday and its that reason we want you to prove to us again…..Cheers Bro!!!

  17. Woow,dint see dat coming…but wen dis morkly n senayon teamed up?hmmmmm,the power of wrting.its not an easy thing to do,TL welldone bro

  18. 9c 1 TL. I undstand d fact dat some of u guys r disapointed in a way, buh I don’t think u shld insult Tuunde, nd still trying to be polite. Things happens nd we all knw, wie u all shld av noticed is d way acharu was abit secretive, trying to do everything in ” commissioner said thingy” nd mockly was guesing too much. Nd y wld morckly nd senayon alws in argument, its all look like d way it ended. Let’s jst apreciate d guy wf some words of encouragement nd not insults. Dats wat I think dou. Do av a grt week ya’all. *wink*

  19. WTF?! TL, what kind of sicko twisted ending is this? it didn’t even make any sense…and almost succeeded in ruining the euphoria i’ve felt reading the other episodes of this series. My mind has been making up excuses for you though…maybe its because you have a lot on your plate right now with the write right event et all…and maybe that’s how twisted psychos think…either ways I know you’ll be back to your “best-writer” self in the next series. cheers.

  20. All those Tunde Leye voltrons should rise up and attack now! Lol! Just kidding.

    Candidly though, this is not impressive at all, not even by a long shot, and certainly not by Tunde Leye’s standard. I’m not going to justify this episode with “Tunde has been writing a lot and he needs a break”. That would go against all his own sermons on proper, professional writing.

    First Sumbo reappears and turns out to be the Ring Collector. I thought that was a nice reveal. I totally didn’t see that coming. Achuru happens to be Sumbo’s accomplice. I suspected as much from last episode, so I really wanted to see how awesome it would play out. Admittedly, Sumbo’s and Achuru’s reasons for going about this whole killing business are rather shaky, but then, serial killers kill for much less in real life. There is no logic in the mind of a psycho.

    The story takes a nasty turn for the inane when Professor Morkly is revealed as yet another accomplice. And even worse, the Senayon reveal. Tacky. Really, tacky. At that point, I expected Senayon to turn the gun on Morkly and blast the fool after spouting some bullshit reason. And then finally put the gun in his mouth, spout another bullshit reason, and blow his own brains out.

    Honestly. Salt and pepper are fantastic ingredients in food, but too much of them spoil the whole experience. Twists are nice, but this is an over-twist, and quite frankly unnecessary.

    I wouldn’t suggest taking a break. I don’t think that’s the problem here. The problem is proper plotting. Perhaps you need to take some time in outlining the entire plot of your series before putting it out there, and maybe have one of your mates read it to get their input.

    Abeg, voltrons, no attack me o! Na my opinion I dey yarn. But if you want to attack, your own don finish be dat lol

    • You just put the words right! This is exactly what I wanted to write to TL!! Even the TL voltrons know that we(all the sincere critics in the house)mean well, no harm intended….*hehehehe*.

  21. Leye,av got to agreed wit T girl,the end of this story is total crap(this last episode). The story would have been more interesting without this type of unrealistic and snseless ending(#sorryifdtsoundtooharsh) daz my opinion sha

  22. Every Monday,I look forward yo reading this on the bus ride to work- I enjoyed d story bt I’m amazed by the ending-not d standard we are used to and after reading it,something about Monday isn’t as exciting as before

  23. I agree with the critics! This last two episodes were not properly written at all.
    I know you have a lot of things on your mind.
    You can try focusing on one thing @at time

  24. ah Sumbo was the lady in the first episode that was dumped by Charles …. ok …. Hmmm TL this is all muddled up oh … any way weldone

  25. Some of you sound practically overjoyed that there’s finally a Tunde Leye story you can attempt to insult him over. If this had been written by some oyinbo now, you would all have been applauding the twist. Extend your imaginations a little, go back and read the story from top (I did that) and you’ll see the brilliance of this piece. We watch stuff like this on NCIS and other crime thrillers steady. Get your minds out of Nollywood saturation. I actually really hope Tunde stops writing for free for all of you people so you can say wjere you’ll find goos writing of his calibre free and consistently. To borrow Morkly’s phrase, Natering Nabobs. Last week you all said he was overdragging it, this week, he rushed it. There’s no pleasing you people.

    By the way, itheword, no matter how long and snotty your comments are, you cannot hold a matchstick not to talk of candle to Tunde – keep dreaming. You will never achieve the brilliance and relevance that will make you worth having voltrons.

    And you Kokorodudu, you are an utterly stupid individual, one of those idiots who cannot speak in real life but hides behind internet anonimity to run your mouth for your comment.

    Tunde, the few of us that see this story in his entirety say welldone.

  26. At first the story was captivating, but later on, it got muddled up and twisted. I think the ending just ruined the whole point of the story. It felt rushed and not rili fine-tuned. You could have made it work tho, becos yur rili talented. Try settling down to have a good story line and ending before starting your next story in order to make good stories like ‘finding hubby’ and the likes…..

  27. Oh no!!!!…. hell no!!!! Am not sorry to say this but we hav plenty shallow minded creatures in here. Havnt u ever heard of “scary movie” or d likes of movies wit suspense and serial killing? They hardly end wit a scene where the actually killer is caught. Aside that u were not forced to read on TL’s blog and I don’t knw wat kinda fan u claim u r to TL wen all u seem to knw hw to do is run a broda down with u rubbish comment and silly way of expressing ur shallow n foolish thought…. mtcheeeew… I can see how nollywood has narrowed ur very tiny minds n flat heads to knwing wat happens at d beginning of a movie even b4 it ends but sorry to say all ya dat jst criticised someone’s talent take it from me u r as dumb and foolish as ur comment. When u decide for once in ur life to do sometin publicly and someone somewhere stones u wit such annoyin comment make sure u remember dis day. In conclusion and on behalf of TLbloggers who have brain and common sense we say DONT EVER PASS A COMMENT about any of his stories again, keep your opinion to urself.

    TL pls neva stop writing, u remain d best ….. *sad face at dos foolish people*

    • Trust me, you’ll probably be the first to be stoned. “Age is not an excuse for mediocre writing”? I was stunned when I heard the girl was 14 because her story was nice. Please, remove the log in your eye before removing the specs in their eyes. You are just a hypocrite. Who dash you brain and common sense? Jobless fellow. Eku refreshing every 10 mins and commenting on every post.

      TL jare, I enjoyed this series although this isn’t your very best. It would have been better if it was a movie or TV series. Thumbs up

    • I agree some ppl myt be a bit insensitive with their comments but some ppl are also giving their honest opinion. Ever heard of constructive criticism? Fine, we’ve all watched NCIS or C&I and have read d James Hardley Chase or Stephen King or other thrillers but u would not be true to ursef and as a tunde leye fan if u say dis ending was perfect.
      If it was a movie, der myt prolly be a flashback showing us how Senayon n Morkly hooked up in the first place, hatched dis plan n how Morkly got involved with Sumbo. Nothing like dat here, jst bang bang n goodnyt. Like we’ve all said, tunde has done well in d past n he can always do better.

      I’m a huge fan of his n i’m only telling him the truth so he can be better.

      • Well said! All the critics mean well. We won’t be saying anything if we didn’t love his posts so much!

    • @ Bukky… Critism is allowed. TL himself knws beta. It helps him build n aim higher. It’s jst d way some ppl here go abt it dat isn’t right. Eevry1 is entitled 2 dia own opinions tho.
      TL… Thumbs up. More ink 2 ur pen. I c u in bigger places already.

  28. All I will say is well done because its not easy to write anything at all. You are a good writer and really anyone who watches all these crime series/movies will know that psychos who kill do so for very stupid reasons. thumbs up.
    I think any1 who is not satisfied with the ending should criticize nicely with less insults.

  29. 1st and fore most…. Tunde…. Brilliant! Now to u critics, till u can write something close to this….. Shut the shell up! Its an open text book theory…. Heaven knows no fury like a woman scorned…. Agreed, do u think men don’t plan revenge as well? Two young profeSsional men messed up at the prime of their life and careers! Come together over a couple of beer and plan a perfect revenge on women who ruined them emotionally and career wise. Whiles senayon played the heart broken down on his luck cop, morkly played the mentally unstable fish out of water character! The best executed plans are the best layed ones…. So pls…. Broaden ur minds on the scope of things and stop yarning opata! It was well written! It left a bitter taste in your mouth, yet left u hungering for more! That’s how its done people…. Its a wrap!!!!

  30. Tunde leye,dis is crack,bullshit,meaningless conclusion,I cnt believe I wasted my time opening it,is dis some kind of jet-li or jackie chan’s story book or what? Plz be real.I’ve been ur fan 4 long,even ordered golden sands from 9ja 2 SA,but dis???? No No No No man!!!!!!!!

  31. Wow! I didn’t expect that ending but hey we don’t always get the ‘ending’ we want. Welldone TL, keep up the good work. Don’t be ruffled by the criticisms here, just take the good and leave the bad. God bless you.

  32. I do not agree with all those who say it’s a crappy ending….it’s probably just not a genre you are used to and different from TL’s other stories
    I love love love the twist at the ending and if you ‘critics’ have read suspense filled books such as Dan Brown’s Angels and Demon as well as several other books which I have read then you would appreciate that this is a good story albeit hastily concluded.
    I am not a writer but appreciate good books.
    Thanks Tunde for another amazing story… Looking forward to the next one!!

  33. I’m gobsmacked at the turn out of events. Nothing’s what it seems, and noone’s really who they say they are! Great recipes for a spellbinding suspense-filled thriller, I’d say. TL, you got this all locked down! This was not safe, totally out of the box, unpredictable and very believable. Psychos are not the most logical or rationally thinking individuals anyone will ever meet and thus the title they’re given, PSYCHOS. Moreover, they always think they are the masters, whereas another, who’s quietly operating in the background and giving absolutely no hints ’bout nothing; suddenly springs a surprise from outta the blues. I never thought Senayon, the supposed ‘weakling’ and the eccentric, down- and -out- of- his- luck, Morkly were the masters of the game, calling the shots while the sickos carrying out the murders were actually the pawns. Now that’s one fantastic and creatively vivid imagination you’ve brought to play in this masterpiece and I totally get you. To those who didn’t, tough luck! Its a free world so all of y’all can like to park well and stop casting aspersions at this wonderful writer. No be by force to read nah, make una go write una own stories and let’s see just how great y’all will fare or better still, y’all can just take the easy route, with your ‘supposed’ constructive critcisms’ alongside, and take a flying leap into thin air like abracadabra! Clueless lotz! Psst!

    TL, I absolutely loved this series, you blew my socks off! The whole twists and suspense were fantastically thought-out and you Sir, Rock Pieces! Keep doing what you know how to do best, me and the Almighty God by extension, dey your back gidigba! Respect! *salute*. LMAO!

  34. Wow!!!!! Crazy twists and turns…with my “nollywood state of mind”,i woulda said this story is “plotless”.But on a second thought,this looks like one of those CSI stories..Serial killers kill people for far less logical reasons,that’s why they’re psychos. Guess it would have been clearer if it was acted out in a movie. Its jst that the last few paragraphs look mumbled up.
    And as for the critics…learn to be constructive and not destructive in your opinions,you don’t rubbish people’s hard earned reputation jst by hiding behind anonimity.Been following TL’s write ups since finding hubby episode 1 and i must say that i respect his brilliance and creativity!!!

    Phrase of the day: Isariotish Behaviour 🙂

  35. Finally, we come to the end of the series and I get to comment. I’d tried to read through to the end of the story before commenting on it. This is the first TL piece I’m reading. I have to give it to you, you write well. I enjoyed the story from the beginning. This final episode left a bitter taste in my mouth. It felt kind of rushed, like you just wanted to finish the story anyhow. I didn’t feel any catharsis from this ending at all. Maybe like another commentator said, its because one isn’t used to reading this kind of stories. Please take this comment in good faith. Looking forward to your next series.

  36. haba, evidently a lot of people always feel like a story must always end happily.TL had to rush burnt due to sensitivity, now its psychotic and the complaints are many. Im not happy but I thought about CSI, there’s never a logical reason for violence, its always twisted. So lets broaden our minds or just tune out. TL, looking forward to the next “series”.

  37. Dear All,
    It takes a mind dat think way outside its horizons, dat can see d twist behind dis story. we dont always have d “happy endings” we want, do we? pls people, stop making this young man feel as tho its a wasted effort for trying to help people still cultivate d reading habits.

    @Tunde Leye, God will increase you on every side. Keep up the good work. There r still some of us who still appreciate ur work.

    Enjoy ur week

  38. The ending does not blend with the story…what happened??? What about Morkly being gobsmacked that he’d been outwitted in Episode 11? What about Senayon not wanting to leave his house because he didn’t want to be killed? The thing is muddled up, it would have been really great.

  39. Wow!!!!! Crazy twists and turns…with my “nollywood state of mind”,i woulda said this story is “plotless”.But on a second thought,this looks like one of those CSI stories..Serial killers kill people for far less logical reasons,that’s why they’re psychos. Guess it would have been clearer if it was acted out in a movie. It jst that the last few paragraphs look mumbled up.
    And as for the critics…learn to be constructive and not destructive in your opinions,you don’t rubbish people’s hard earned reputation jst by hiding behind anonimity.Been following TL’s write ups since finding hubby episode 1 and i must say that i respect his brilliance and creativity!!!

    Phrase of the day: Iscariotish Behaviour 🙂

  40. Nice one bro. Though the end is kinda twisted but its still worth the wait. For the unsatisfied ancient readers, thanks for the criticism but don’t forget that you didn’t pay to view this blog. So let your criticism be meaningful and not insultive.

    • What do you mean ‘you didn’t pay to read’? If your internet bundle is free,mine is not! I spent precious data opening this page and precious time reading it!

      • Ladymoniker…you had me laughing. ‘precious data’? lol. Does your data translate to cash for the author? Heck, people pay for online subscriptions and still use their ‘precious’ data to access the material being paid for, in their ‘precious’ time. Your ‘precious’ data and ‘precious’ time is not ‘precious’ to the author’s pocket. On a serious note, lets give the guy a break. TL has been churning out good material here, one mistake and you guys want his head on a platter…una be Ring Collector? cheers and don’t fight me ooo [because i bite] lol.

  41. Am still confused. Didn’t feel this story too much from the beginning. The end didn’t make much sense. Have to agree, previous stories have been so much better. This deviation is a bit off. Haven’t been really faithful in following this one, i must confess. Am glad its over.

  42. Great twist TL but of a truth as someone said, it was over-twisted and the ending was rushed. Nice series altogether though.

    And for all the critics as far as I am concerned only two or three people criticised this piece. The rest of you were just ranting! Most of you don’t even know what it is you criticising. You are just flooding the comment box because others are doing so. Critiquing is not bad. It’s just that we have bad critics.

    As a world best if you make the slightest mistake, you would have haters like Messi

    Keep writing Tl

  43. I will simply say that I am looking forward to the next story from Tunde Leye. there is no way we can always like everything a man does or says every single time. Tunde Leye is one of the writers i look forward to reading their stories. Kudos man!

  44. Tunde,this is a monumental piece of crap and full of dirty languages which you must scrap in your next series! I wasn’t impressed with your ample use of the ‘F-word’, it is so unfashionable and crappy! When did you hit an all-time low like this? This story smacked of mediocrity and fakeness! Yes,it’s a work of fiction,but you could have made it a little more realistic. Ask yourself if this scenario can happen in Nigeria or any other place in the world.
    Try and improve,please.

  45. Ok. We are all fans of TL. That we do not find the ending as ‘sweet’ as we thought it would be, is a reason to express our opinions. I will not condemn TL, he is a good writer. But, as loyal fans we owe him ‘constructive criticism’. This will make him stronger and better. I am looking forward to more material from him. Cheers bro, it happens in every career.

    • I agree. We must all give constructive criticism. But even at that, some people will still attack you and tell you not to read TL if you don’t like it. I’ve never really understand the basis for that argument – you read something, you give criticism, and you’re told to shut the fuck up and not read anymore.

  46. Oh for God’s sake its a story, and just like there are TL voltrons there are also TL die hard fans who will read everything bait, hook, line and sinker without blinking or thinking. Criticism is what makes a writer better. I personally think TL has finally written a typical Nigerian movie script and I imagine Mercy Johnson as Sumbo and Eucharia Anunobi as Acharu. TL this ending wasn’t just it.

  47. @itheword- you just hit the hammer no the nail. Some people just like to sound like they’re the biggest fans. And such people have really discouraged others from passing very meaningful comments and criticisms In sure. No one is here to prove his reading prowess or whatever it is you’ve had or have in you. Take a piss all ya’ll 😛

  48. Haaaaa! Han han, TL is someone dreaming. Everything just got mixed up. Are they call murderer? This your mind, hen! When is the movie coming, the Holly wood version o? I like it but not satisfied yet, there’s something, this can’t be the end, there has to be a clean end, sought of, not muddled up

  49. i honestly would think that if u wanted to criticize this piece or the ending or whatever it is the ‘critics’ are condemning, i would have expected it to be done in a sensible and courteous manner. if u are a critic without an eye for genius work, then u are free to curse, rant and rave as some ‘critics’ have done; however, if u are one with a good eye for gifts and outstanding geniuses such as TL..then even if u wanted to criticize,it wud be done in a way he would get ur point and understand it and still feel he should do better not get the impression like i got that some haters calling themselves critics were actually waiting for something to latch up on..if u didn’t understand this last piece after the first read, please bother to read again so it would penetrate and sink into your nollywood- clouded head…please get the ability to see, appreciate and love geniuses in ur home…my opinion might not matter to you but left to me, TL rocks…he took my expectation of the end of this series and blew my mind..did not see that coming and as i have pondered on it…i see the brilliance…u should too…if u knew what brilliance was all about…TL..u will continue to ‘wow’ us…u have done well…but don’t stop..the best is just ur starting point…
    PS: to ‘critics’, criticism isn’t made so the writer should stop, it is done so he can see ur point of view and write more improved works even beyond your understanding…

  50. Seriously,
    You all should take a chill pill, just because the story is not what you normally read or not what u can predict doesn’t mean you should degrade it. if u dont like it,go hug transformer.it raining self,so it will hv full effect.
    Tunde,fantastic job.keep up d good work.

  51. Like seriously??? I laugh. #cheeringforthediehardfans#. Take a piss please its a story, the ending was crappy. However people chose to express their opinions is their choice. What is it with people and writing hateful comments at other commenters. Mtschewwwwwww!

  52. I’m forced to comment because of the critics, true the stout should have hinted on the impending suspense, I’ll have to admit though that this was a very good write up. Only a talented writer could creat such twist without getting his readers confused. Thumbs up Tunde. With love from Illinois

  53. whao!!!!!
    love this from the beginning to the end and last scene,gosh! simply love the twist.
    love write ups like this.kudos to u TL

    • I like that TL did something different from the usual. However, my major issue has to do with the style of writing. I didn’t see any particular artful way of storytelling, the editing was bad and that’s why people get the feeling that the story was rushed. I know chick-lit does not occupy the same rung as literary fiction but still the latter doesn’t have to be shoddy. TL as ur popularity widens, it’s only normal that pple will expect more of you. So, it’s needful for you to continually hone ur writing skills.

  54. Well……..not quite what I expected.
    Too rushed and jumbled up with too many details being thrown at the reader (me) all at once.
    Major anticlimax…
    Nonetheless, T.L., I recognise and respect your massive talent.
    More ink to your literary pen.
    Next time just calm down and don’t be in a hurry to finish a story just because your audience demands that you do.

    #My5cents

  55. I have been following this series from the first episode to the very last one. I enjoyed every bit of it. TL, I must say you have done a really good job like you always do. Only a special story can attract dis many comments whether negative or positive. I think even d ‘critics’ love it without knowing it. **smiles**

  56. Hav enjoyed this series from d beginning,but the last two episodes don’t add up at all.using in thrillers n suspense stories,d end usually makes sense but this doesn’t. Infact I don’t undastand sef!!!!!!

  57. May the good Lord help you to continually improve… And may He give you the strength to continue doing what you love doing. It is well with you…just take all the criticisms in your stride and learn your lessons from them. You will excel. Much love

  58. This is my first time commenting on this blog and that’s because I have something to say. Either ‘killed’ for this or not, I will say my mind. As an accomplished author, I’ve seen your plenty advice on how to write a good series, how to be a good writer etc and I can see you still have so much to learn too. A break or no break, if you do not look for a way to pick up and sharpen your craft (like reading loads of books), you’ll still be dishing out half baked stories that you think we like. Research well on a particular plot before you start work on it. As for me, I started having issues with burnt. It’s like you are trying too hard to please ur readers and that’s making you go out of ur way. Out of ur way is good but are you capable of keeping up with it?, always ask that. All in all, one man’s food is another man’s poison. We have different reasons for reading but I’ll not pat anybody’s back if he’s doing wrong just because he is popular. Popularity doesn’t make up for excellence. I’ll say, pay attention to these critiques, they have a meaningful message for u.

    • Thank you very much for this. Burnt was not all that and same with this one. I am a fan but this is not Tunde Leye’s best. I have read better pieces.

  59. Tunde Welldone! I loved and looked forward to every episode. But the last one did seem rushed and had too many things packed into it. (My humble opinion). Maybe it should have been two. Cos so much happened so fast.
    All in all, I enjoyed the story.

  60. Tunde Leye has once again killed it. Critics can talk when it is constructive, and the reason other people would pass insultive comments on critics is because those critics were not constructive and were themselves abusive too. If the so many people in confusion watch movie genre or literature on thrillers, horror, sci-fi or crime they would have a better understanding of the end. I don’t think it was muddled up stories don’t have to end the way the reader wanted it. Timeless times you see a piece where the ending is soooooooooo twisted you are left like WHAT that’s exactly what TL did with this piece. So if you don’t get it stick to reading Mills and Booms if they still exist and have a happy ever after end. TL GOd bless you and deserve the rest, we humbly await your return to the Ring. Lord of the RIngs

  61. I’ll first strt by saying I love your work and you can do no wrong in my eyes.your stories are captivating and they keep me busy wen my work days are going slow.however,there is something called tough love which I’m about to met out.This story is my least favorite of all ur work.it did not follow a logical pattern and the continuation was not wonderful.dont rush tunde,we will wait for you.lol.take your time,we will wait.there were so many loop holes and lapses.very rushed and the end was the worst of it all.take some time out.have a wonderful come back with an amazing piece.i believe in you Tune Leye.there are down times,get back up quickly.peace n love #concernedfan

  62. Onaks is my favourite person here…we should get married!!! Anyway I think this story is amazing and the end beautiful…it was just a beautiful end like like ehnehn d end of “now you see me” wake your imaginations bros in Tunde leye!

  63. Hi Mr Tunde Leye. I enjoyed this series immensely but I dont seem to understand it oh! The Professor and Senayon together?Nawah oh.

  64. Am still wowed…..didn’t see the collaboration of morkly and senayon coming at all,great suspense all together,got us all so curious. Good job,thumbs up TL

  65. What can I say? Over twist or over kill. I suspect the problem here is this need to shock the reading public….As we all know, whenever the commentators get a feel of the way the story’s going, TL feels the need to put in a lil twist. In this case, leaving it as Sumbo and Acharu would have just been cool! Believe me, we wd still have been relatively shocked(not totally since at least 1/3 suspected one or both of them already). Whilst both men had motives, there was no motive for the super plot or complex plot resulting in ds multiple collateral damage. If u read the story again, which I don’t have the time or smart internet to really, the relationship btw Senayon and morkly depicted earlier even in the absence of Acharu did not prepare them for this collabo depicted at the end indicating clearly that this ending was an afterthought.
    I would still suggest that the overall plot be planned for execution irrespective of the deciphering abilities of the reading public.
    Naturally, all those who have a problem with my post can KMFA….Let me save u wondering, I have never written, don’t own a blog nor have any formal training or gift in writing(so I guess it’s not my place to comment) however I have 2eyes and a brain. Thanks for indulging me…..xoxo

  66. I just wish senyolu wasn’t in on it…..the story wud have made much More sense. Well done and thank you for all your stories….I appreciate.

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