Of Wrinkled Noses

Barka De Sallah to all Muslim tlsplacers. All kindly let me know how I get my Sallah meat. Of course, I couldn’t let Sallah Pass without a special. Enjoy and take the poll at the end. Please tune in to Naija FM 102.7 today at 8:45am to hear me talk writing in pidgin. Interesting Stuff. Enjoy…

TL

kanuri-bororo5

This is the most confusing and difficult decision I’ve ever had to make in my life. Should I keep this baby or shouldn’t I? now, I can guess what you are thinking “how is that such a tough decision”. But listen to the story and then take the poll when you are done.

My name is Ngozi Oleh but everyone calls me Omalicha. I went to serve with Batch A corpers, before there were more than two batches per year. Before service year, I had never been outside the east. I grew up in Aba and schooled in Aba, Federal Government Girls College Owerri for Secondary School and then ESUTH for University. So when I was posted to Yobe, I was excited, though my parents who had lived through the civil war were less so.

Anyway, service year started as a blast, and after being posted to Damaturu, we learnt to create our own corper fun and partied hard. Now, on the way to my place of primary assignment, we had to pass through a gathering of some dirty Kanuri men who were gathered in front of the house of a wealthy one, waiting for free food and drink. They stank to the high heavens. Now, my friends said because I was fine, I was snotty. What they didn’t understand was that each of us has varying degrees of sensitivity to smell. If there’s a scale of one to ten for sensitivity to smell, I would be an eleven. I am that sensitive to it. So unlike all of them who could hide how they felt about the smelly Kanuri people, I couldn’t. I would wrinkle my nose and face and cover my nose with my hands as I passed to keep the smell out. Sometimes though, I vocalized my displeasure. I wished there was some other route but unfortunately there wasn’t, so I daily went through this distasteful experience.

But gestures are universal and the men understood my actions for what it meant. My friends warned me to be less obvious but I said “whatever!” and carried on with an obvious display of how I felt about their smelliness.

One of them got angry enough one day and went to a marabout. He was away for two days and when he returned, he waited for me to pass and wrinkle my nose. He walked up to me and touched me. I cannot remember much beyond that. My friends filled me in.

I followed him and sat in their midst. I began to spend all my time with them, eating amongst them, practically living like them. They tried all they could to get me to snap out of it but I was adamant and fought every single one of them.

Then we passed out and it was time to leave. It was when I refused to leave those people and go home that one of them found out how to reach my parents and told them what had happened. My parents sped down to Yobe and tried to get me to go home with them. I was adamant “I love him and cannot leave here to live without him” I said, pointing to the one who had hit me that day and who was now my man amongst them.

It was then that my father wisely saw that this was not “ordinary eye” and he went to report to the NYSC state coordinator.

“Ah! That is a serious matter.” He exclaimed after hearing their story and then took them to the traditional ruler to relay their tale again. One the Emir heard him out, he sent his officials to summon the rich man that fed those Kanuri people and that one in turn summoned the man I was living with and I. The emir recognized what was involved and chastised the man and commanded him to undo the juju he had done. He reluctantly mentioned the marabout he had used and that one was equally summoned. The juju was eventually undone and my eyes cleared. I realized what had happened. I just wanted to die. On the state coordinator’s advice, I was taken to a hospital for test. It was there it was discovered that I was five months pregnant.

So in my shoes, would you keep the child and would you ever be able to love that child?

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53 thoughts on “Of Wrinkled Noses

  1. Dancing azonto first to reply,,,I will get rid of that plzzzzz may God forgive me can’t imagine dat seed growin inside me

  2. Thats a rily had one o TL. Don’t even knw wat 2 advice seriously. Am trying 2 put myself in dis girl’s shoes n as a christian is it proper 4me 2 tk out d child (NO)

    May God deliver us 4rm evil. Nyc write up

  3. Why should hate the child? Afterall, it was all my fault. What if that’s the only child I will ever have? I will have and love the child cos its not the child’s fault@all

  4. Ouch! Wow, what a bitter lesson dat was. If only she had been a bit discreet, dis woulda been averted. We all need to be tactful bout things in dis life, speak less, listen more and employ diplomacy on every front. Some peeps are very sensitive and will go to great lenghts to teach a bitter lesson to whoever crosses them like dis Kanuri man. The deed is done now and Ngozi will have to live with the consequences of her actions forever. The baby’s innocent and she must learn to love him/her. God will grant her grace, children are blessings from the Lord and should not be aborted.

  5. Aborting a 5mnth preggy is killing ooooo. Have d baby and learn to luv d baby and if u find that hard, give it up for adoption

  6. Please be realistic!!! There is an ibo song that says … Anaghi m alu gi,onye hausa kpara gi aka! meaning; “I will not marry you,a hausa man has defiled you!” This was during d Civil war tho’… Buh in this case,it will come to life.. Being d sensitive person she is,she will surely hate the baby! There’s no maternal kiniko in this one.. As for d person saying u can’t abort.. Wait till u are faced with disgracing your entire family or living with d guilt! Nonsense…

    • So u wld commit murder and probably damage your womb to protect ur face.. Wow! Am very sorry for u! U shld also know that a 5month old child is fully formed, it is only increasin in size.. U might as well give birth to it and throw it over third mainland bridge… Is it the child dat asked the girl to be rude ni? Rme.

    • One more thing… I can’t marry cos an hausa man defiled u?? LWKMD!!! …so if it was an ibo man dat did dat it wld be better? Tribalist much?… I feel the wrong is the ‘rape’ not the fact dat he is ‘hausa’… She has jus 4months to go… As hard as it might be, an abortion won’t make the hurt go away…

    • She is 5months pregnant, assuming she is even 4 it would have been a different story. Mahn you are wicked, what is she dies or complications occur and she can’t bear child again. She has her own fault too, she either have the baby give it up for adoption or keep the baby and love the baby because its her blood too.

  7. Its a veri tough decision 2make, but an abortion is never wise. besides, carrying out dat procedure 5months into d pregnancy is suicide, and she’ll most likely lose her life in d process. she nids 2surround herself wit pple dat wil encourage & help her. It’ll be difficult @ 1st, but ur baby is ur baby. may God touch her hrt

  8. Let’s avoid being hypocritical here,for all those advising her to keep the baby,sincerely ask yourself;will you keep the baby if it were U?..”He/she is worst than an infidel that cannot take care of his/her child?…

  9. Tunde, Tunde, Tunde……how many times did I call you? After this kind of story, I doubt you are getting any sallah meat, definitely not from a Kanuri person. The story is at least mildly offensive, in my opinion. Or maybe my sensitivity is eleven on a scale of one to ten…lol.
    Ngozi should have the baby(she suppose to don born am by now na? No be since before dem start NYSC 2nd batch?) this kin late homework.
    Most and generally, the birth of a child brings joy and goodwill, even when conceived in the worst of circumstances. Courage and strength to pull through the tough 9 months is what one needs. If she feels that bad, adoption should be considered at birth. But the perceived gain of an abortion is often outweighed by the negative effects and aftermath.

  10. Its going 2 be hard but she shud just have d baby and if after seeing it she still doesn’t love it,then she shud give it up for adoption

  11. Devil is a liar. It’s better to remove the baby once and for all. A child that was conceived with juju. Whose father is a smelly beggar? How can one not see such a child as a reminder of being a victim of his father’s evil machinations? How can one not hate the child? All these “children are blessings. The child didn’t ask to be born” blah blah are just fanciful notions. Philosophical quotes lasan. It would take divine strength to love that child, and guess what? We’re human! I’m human! Me I can’t love such a child o. Lai lai. But last last, we should pray that God shouldn’t put us in such tribulations.

    • Amen!!!!! Amen!!!! This is the best reply!!! Nigerians like to form excess church?????!!!! Choi!!! Tell them… Waxing philosophical,instead of facing things with a “What-would -I-do-if-it-were-me” attitude.. I tire gaan!!

      • Keeping d child is not a matter of forming church or being philosophical….d baby is a part of u whether u like it or not and aborting it is lyk killing a part of u. The baby doesn’t have to bear d brunt of ur misdeeds.

    • Would abortion change anything… It would only just add something for her to feel guilty about… In an abortion They use an instrument to cut up the body and another to crush the babys head! So she might be ‘lucky enough’ to have some body parts left in her and pass it out wen she gets hme :D. If I hear say she no die of guilt

  12. It’s a really tough one. I would have said have the child and then give it up for adoption. The child doesn’t deserve to be aborted and doesn’t deserve to be hated either. But after having a baby, I don’t know many women who would want to let her baby go. The bond is always there. So i would rather say, have the baby first and then see… The moral of the story is also important: learn to see everyone though the eyes of love.

  13. All in all a child is still a child. I know it maybe very difficult or would I say very difficult. But I believe in the end if she focuses on loving the child after birth she can. It takes a lot of courage and strenght but I know she can love it if she wants to. But truth be told, its going to be a very difficult situation for her.

  14. U can’t rili knw aw it feels until u re faced wiv such situation. I av an 11months old boi.Nt born out of choice,I love him bt sometimes I look @him nd everyfinn,d hurt,d pain nd all comes rushing bck. Truthfully sometimes I wish I never had him. Other tymz I’m happy I had him. Her fault or not she’ll never be able to live wiv d child if she can’t handle d past without pain.I decided to av mine yh! Wouldn’t advice her to abort bt!!!! If she can’t handle it pls in wat eva way get rid of it,dnt give birth to a child dt u’ll spoil his/her self esteem.Kids re awfully sensitive even frm d womb. Bt u neva knw aw strong u can be until d only option u av is bin strong. So if u TRY vry hard nd u re determined ure gonna deliver nd nurture dt child wiv Love!. Whateva decision u make is ur choice nd DNT eva feel guilty abt it!.

  15. I don’t believe anyone should be thrown under the bus for airing their views. I’ll NEVER counsel anybody to abort a child for whatsoever reasons. I’m entitled to my own opinion and you, yours. So this idea of someone saying one’s ‘forming church’ whatever the hell that means is not an issue. Grow up, and learn to respect other peoples’ views rather than running them down with your mouth. The same mouth that got Ngozi in trouble in the first place. Its a free world. And for your information, aborting a 5 month old pregnancy could very well be the end of that lady, and then what?

  16. Summary…she’s a dumb fuck who got wot she deserved.
    Next time,she’ll keep her gestures to herself in strange places.
    Hw u go dey pass dat kine place in a strange land daily n dey do tinz wey go single ursef out??
    in short,she’s a fucktard.

  17. ngozi shld av d baby
    it is her cross and she shld carry it wit all pleasure. those pple are God’s creation.she can enlighten dem on personal and environmental hygiene instead of wrinklin her nose. I wish her luck!

  18. This lesson is too harsh but she deserves it,her wisdom is what should have been an eleven on the ten scale.she should have the baby and let it be a reminder of how tactless she was,with time she wil not have a choice but to love the baby.

  19. Would definitely take IT out. Pregnant at the moment, 3rd trimester to be precise and it’s not the easiest thing in the world. Can’t imagine going through it for a child I CAN’T love.

  20. It’s a graet test of time since the harm has already been done. If i am, i wuld jst have d baby n luv it as i luv myself. Although is not going to be easy @ d initial stage bt with time i’d come over it. May God help us.

  21. Give birth to the child….put her up 4 adoption/foster care….Give the poor child a chance to live……@least getting pregnant in the first place waz ur fault.

  22. Simple question: is 5 months too young for an incubator? If no, that’s what I’ll do. Remove the baby and let him/her grow inside incubator. I’ll give the child up for adoption immediately after that, or something. If five months is too young, I’ll just wait till the 7th month (most prems are 7 months) and do the same thing. Aint no way I’m keeping the child. Born out of juju-infested love? No way!

  23. All of you advising someone to take out a 5 month old foetus have probably not been pregnant before. Do u know the pains and joys of motherhood? Some people just display their ignorance. My advice to the lady: keep your baby till he is born then decide what to do next. I’ve seen women who aborted babies and died childless later. Some loose their lives in d process of abortion. The shame on you nd your family will be greater if u die now or childless later. Be wise.

  24. Almost all the people saying or voting have the baby and love it are not being truthful! Orys strawberry, I have two children and lost too and I will definitely say take it out! Pregnancy is hard on its own with a man you love and all attendant issues, imagine with a child you can’t stand that was conceived out of deceit and jazz! Stop forming having it removed, done well does not in any way hinder you from having future kids what so ever. Ps all is from personal experience! I will hate that child with a venomous passion, best I don mix rat poision with her milk….don’t have it once you can’t love it. End of.

    • Have it an adopt now… KAI!… Anyways putting poison in its milk and abortion Is similar… Only difference is you slicing the child and crackin the skull in an abortion and you can’t hear it scream … *the silent scream* you should watch that ultrasound of the child being aborted, the doctor that made the video was tryin to prove abortion wasn’t so bad..after monitoring it… He has never done an abortion since

  25. Hehe! Eleyi gbo mi mu oo(dis one swallow water plenty) My nose is all wrinkled trying to think of an answer oo….Was even thinking the story would have to do with RAM sef 😀
    TL ehn….u too mush!

  26. Carry the baby to term, born d baby and hope that the child will be stillborn, make God take d pikin by himself.. Otherwise, give up for adoption..

  27. No one can ever experience the joy of having a child except one has had a baby. Not even you Tunde*tongue out* And I know cuz God gave me one. As painful and unfortunate as to who the father is, she should have the baby and experience such wondrous joy when she carries him or her in her arm, she’ll be shocked at the love that she can give the baby. And she’s going back to PH, so no qualms on the father of d baby contacting her forever,lol. Ngozi, keep that baby! lol

    Cindy

  28. She shld keep it, Kanuris r beautiful pple and it’s 5months again, na 4months remain na. She’ll av a beautiful child that might look like his/her father but educated n won’t smell. If na me, God forbid, I’ll so remove d pregnancy. God 4give me

  29. I really dnt get y y’all r planning to commit murder den sayn “God 4give me”. U must think God is quite dumb. 4 wotever reason or hwever she gt herself preggy, she hs to c it thru to d end. Abortion aint no option. Let d child remind u to always be nice and considerate to oda people. Its simple cause n effect. Its sad tho bt she has to dance to d tune she payed for, dis dance won’t be as eazy as azonto tho bt she wud ve to live with it and love dat child.

  30. My dear its a very difficult decision to make but the child is yours too.Accept it and ask for council from the holyspirit.he’s the ultimate comforter.

  31. Child is child! D means was disgusting any other option than keeping d baby is highly irrelevant! N if she gets too uncomfortably irritated then she shd give d child up for adoption than hate the child! But pls hv the child!

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