Today’s Reader’s Corner is from my friend Azubuike “Biker” Ahubelem’s book, Don’t Join. A tale of a University undergraduate who is a member of an Asgardian cult. I enjoyed the book thoroughly. It’s available on Amazon for sale.
I asked her what was funny and she began a narrative “Uju is your girl friend but definitely not your Soul Mate.” I asked what she meant and she said to me, “As a Warrior, your Soul Mate is a lady who understands what it means to be a Warrior, one who is ready to take risks for you no matter the consequence, one who could take care of herself in times of war enabling you to focus on your duties instead of worrying about her safety.” I tried explaining to her that Uju was in all ramifications my Soul Mate but she asked me what Uju would do if she caught me with another lady. I explained to her that I couldn’t do such to Uju and she laughed saying, “You are a man and definitely would behave like one.” I smiled because I knew her words were true. In fact I had in the past had several which Uju never found out. She gave me a suspicious smile and said,
“Obviously she would just cry her eyes out and wait for you to come and beg but I wouldn’t. I would act blind because I understand my Warrior is a real man, a hero and right from the onset of history, ladies are always attracted to bravery so I would let you have your way but if a particular girl continues trying to instate her presence, it is my duty as the Soul Mate to get rid of her before your heart gets weak and you start to believe you are in love, for we both know that such a lady is a liability (because she can’t handle herself) , your enemies would use her as a target whenever they want to spite you. So instead of letting her suffer such fate, I would gather a crew of my friends and visit the greedy lady. We would threaten her and give her little torture, she would rush and tell you expecting you to make promises to her of protection and assurance, you would tell me and I would strike again, this time in a furious manner such that she would be disgraced in public and she would be so dehumanized that she wouldn’t dare come close to you again.”
I looked at her and said to her, “Really! So what benefits can I get from you in times of war?” She put her hand across my lips and said, “You have to bribe me before I say anything more.” I ordered for another bottle and attempted giving her a peck but she pushed her tongue in between my lips and I could taste the bitterness of beer in her mouth. I also felt a sweet sensation as we stayed lip locked for a while. We stopped and looked at each other, I couldn’t tell what was going through her mind but I could feel a weird attraction for a lady who had only one thing in common with Uju, beauty. Aside that she was nothing more. Then she said, “Like I said, during wars I could spy on your enemy for you, I could bring food to you and your men at night at odd places like in the bush or in the valley. No normal girl could take such risks, I could carry your weapons for you when they get heavy, I could do anything to protect you no matter the situation.” Her words broke all my defenses, she had just mentioned a couple of things Uju would never do. I paused and thought for a while, and then I asked her if she would be faithful. She smiled and said to me “Once you have me I would be all yours for I know a Warrior’s pride is his lady, therefore I wouldn’t do anything that would tamper with my Warrior’s ego.” She had just finished me. I just understood why my Warchief said I have a soul but not a Soul Mate. She sounded too good to be true, so I asked her what if she found me less interesting and wants to leave. She paused as if searching immensely for the right answer and then replied, “I will be open to you and damn the consequences I know you will feel pain and may almost run mad but it is only human to fall in and out of love. If you try to get ruthless, I would take the case to your Warchief and pray he gives me a fair hearing and a just Command. It might be something barbaric but I would be willing to pay the price as long as it gives me freedom afterwards.” A lot of things were going through my head at this moment but I changed the topic and I began to tell her about my past battle experiences and I got thrilled whenever she screamed out “Rugged!” or “You are strong!” I was impressed that she understood every Warrior term. When night came I tried convincing her to follow me to my room but she laughed saying, “Not today definitely” and then walked away briskly. When I got to my room I couldn’t help but ponder on her because she seemed so much like a female Warrior. After sometime, I got tired of thinking and called her and told her I was thinking of her, she laughed and said, “You are a Warrior and you are strong, if you want to see me this night, march to Royal Home, that’s where I stay. I won’t tell you my room number so it is your duty to find my room.” She laughed some more and ended with the words, “Don’t keep me waiting” and ended the call. It was more of an ultimatum, so I got up, picked my pistol and set out to look for her in her haven at Royal Home. The silence of the night was my only escort. I marched fearlessly towards my destination, and then suddenly I started hearing funny sounds which got me scared, I turned back and saw a goat, “Thank goodness,” I said before I proceeded. I got there and saw nothing, there wasn’t a single soul in sight and all the rooms were dark, I wondered how I was going to find her and came up with an idea which was to call her out. I called severally but she didn’t answer, decided to walk pass each door hoping to hear her phone ring as I called her line, but all to no avail. I became weary and was already losing hope when all of a sudden I felt something pressing hard on my back, it felt like the nozzle of a gun. I remained calm even though I was deeply tensed and said, “Whoever you are know that you are pressing your steel against Mighty One, the devoted son of Thor, a devoted Warrior to the core. Remove that piece from my back if you wouldn’t use it.” I stood still in cold silence, feared as many thoughts ran through my mind, “Is this a set up?”, “Am I going to die today?”….