Reader’s Corner – My Man VS The Game

Brenda from Lagos writes about something I’m sure most women have thought about – the masculine obsession with football. I’m sure you’ll find it useful and enjoyable. You can visit her blog http://mycookingzonewithbrenda.blogspot.com/

I know it’s difficult; I know you may hate it with a passion! But try and make him feel at home when he does that guy thing he loves. And make yourself love it as well… and you never can tell, you might even get as addicted as he is.

When he watches football games, prepare isiewu, asun, fish pepper soup or nkwobi for him, and serve it with very chilled bottle of his favorite drink.

If he is on a game console like a teenager, remember he is your ‘baby’; get him popcorn or chin-chin with chilled drinks to go with it.

When he sees movies in the sitting room, I would recommend a cuddle on the couch. It will give you something to chat about when you guys are bored and having cricket moments.

Sweetheart, forget the drone of the narrator’s voice and watch that documentary with him. Ugh! I know you can’t stand most of those documentaries and cartoons he watches… not to worry, just form ‘being interested’ and get some cuddle *wink*. It will also give you an opportunity to learn the way he sees life, you never can tell how important that will be. Don’t call him boring; yes I totally understand, it can be boring but try as much as possible to build your relationship with him and please do not overdo it because it might back fire ooooohhhh.

There is a friend of mine who wants to impress her man and learn everything about football; but she can’t stand football and her man is a football lover – diehard football fan… more like a fanatic and to worsen the case he is an Arsenal fan. He is one of those fans who tend to pour their frustration or anger meant for Arsene Wenger or the players on the nearest available person whenever they lose a game which unfortunately happens often. *no offence to Arsenal Fans* He will go as far as nagging and forming compulsory fasting occasioned by his desire to show his arsenal colleagues how to eat healthy. Last season Arsenal lost plenty unnecessary matches and kai! My babe hear am from her man wella! This increased her hatred for the game called football and the sight of anything bearing ‘Arsenal´ or the club’s logo spoilt her mood.

One day we got chatting on bbm; let me add that my bbm personal messages weekends are usually about the premier league or football updates generally. She wanted to know if I was really feeling football with my status updates or just trying to impress someone… I told her I wished I was only trying to impress someone because my female friends complain about how I tend to get distracted when watching a football game. I told her of one time I went to a club with my cousins and there was a TV by the corner showing reviews of previous football matches. Guess what? I found myself a very good spot, took a seat and watched to the utter disgust of my female cousins and amazement of my male cousins. I made her see how deeply I loved the game.

I encouraged her to try and watch a full game with all concentration and that she just migh get to love the game as well. Her response – she said she can never watch the game as it has negatively affected her relationship. I replied that particular statement with “lol” as I didn’t understand what she was trying to say. She decided to call as the gist wasn’t flowing so smoothly over bbm. She complained about her man leaving her at home to go see a game at his friend’s. This, she said, happened most weekends which were the only time they had to spend time together due to very busy weekdays. He already knew she couldn’t stand football and he never fancied watching it with someone who didn’t have a clue about the game or someone who would hiss the house down when he watches a game because she would rather see something else.

She said that she had tried watching it sometimes but never enjoyed it. She said she dared not ask him any question when a game is on as he would mumble and make her regret asking the question in the first place. Okay! Even when she decides to follow him to his friend’s to see a game; all they chat/shout/argue about is how some guy called Ramsey brings about hard luck to the team; how RVP was the light of the club and why Arsene Wenger chose to play Ramsey and not Walcott. I realized she already knew the names of some players and I felt she would cope if only she put her mind to it.

It’s a matter of her not bothering herself; learning to take it the way it comes; enjoy it and sharing that moment with her man. As we continued the conversation she cried about her man spending close to 25 to 30 minutes before and after a game arguing and analyzing a match with his friends but spending less than 1 minute with her on the phone. It was so funny that I had to laugh out. She said her man’s family comes first, football second and then she comes third. She lamented that football was the only issue she had with her man. Don’t get her wrong, this guy loves her so much that when there is no football related stuff around you would see it all over him that it’s her or no one else. I told her she should not allow football or Arsenal of all clubs to affect her relationship.

My opinion in this kind of situation is “if you can’t beat them you join them” I advised her to learn how to love the game, and her man’s ‘precious’ Arsenal. I recommended she gets him Arsenal souvenirs or jerseys so that she can equally be mentioned when he talks football with his friends, even if as a jersey or souvenir buyer. I advised she should trying getting interested in his football gist and also try watching a full game with him as it may bring up things to talk about when they are alone.

Don’t force it, just flow with the game and please don’t talk off point if you don’t want to put people off and embarrass yourself. It is better to keep mute and listen until you feel comfortable enough to flow with the discussion. And most importantly, anytime your man is angry about a game, oblige him and show some empathy… empathy ooo, not sympathy. This would make you guys console one another and also errrm cool off together *cough cough*.

If he forms a hunger strike due to a bad game, tempt him with that meal you know he can’t resist. Make him invite his friends over to the house to watch the game and you treat them with some lovely small chops while the game goes on. Don’t forget to sit with them when you are done and ask for updates. Once in a while allow him to go out to watch the game. If you survive this task am sure you will smile at the end; my friend is on hers now *smiles*

What are the meals you think will suit a football game, a game console or movies session without causing so much distraction?

Football: isiewu, nkwobi, pepper soup, asu, suya compliment with chilled drinks.

Games: pop corn, chin chin, cake, small chops compliment with cold drinks

Movies: popcorn, cake, chin chin, small chops, fried meat, and ice cream compliment with drinks on the rock.

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31 thoughts on “Reader’s Corner – My Man VS The Game

  1. I luv football and I totally in a cool relationship wit a football freak. Dis is surely a gud piece n I sure am recommending dis 2 my friends who have issues with their man n d game of football. I simply am gonna ganish n spice my relationship up, wit the prescription of Brenda so we could actually watch d game @ hme n even enjoy it more…….thumbs up gal.

    • My dear if you do it to win a guy it’s desperation oh and thus not advisible as guys know when a girl is desperate and they take advantage berra believe it oh. I think she wrote this article to help you sustain or keep an already existing relationship and not to score one. I also believe that when a guy is asking you out, it is your time to actually express yourself and show him things about you that he either loves about you or detest about you so if really he doesn’t like your personality from the get go, chances are you trying to impress him will only make him take advantage of you while he is busy chasing after one girl like that that couldn’t care less about any of the things he likes and eventually he will leave you for that girl. (no offence intended sha).

  2. Urghhhhhh! Football makes me MAD cos hubby is always screaming. Its d screamin part dat I hate. Hmmmmm and yes he even tries to make me watch it. Guess we have to add his football snack to the food timetable now. I’ll try it out. Hope I survived it sha.

  3. hehehe…this post makes so much sense! Another thing is tv channels oooo, compromise must come in here too. Someone like my husband would rather watch sports or Nat Geo all day when i’d rather watch E! But na to handle am with wisdom o.

    • Thanks dear… But if he can make u watch football u no u can still cajole him into watching E maybe once in a while by giving him updates on wat series u r watching; u neva can tell sha… Like u said na to handle am wit wisdom

      • Brenda I swear you took this one ryt off my mind. I mean if he can make u like football he myt as well like to watch he and style network with you. I think a lot of girls try so hard to love football cos of the guy and forget about things they love too. I like football to an extent but I also like having my own life in a relationship too. Sometimes I think its ok to let the guy like what he likes without while you like what you like I mean, he asked you out knowing you don’t really care about football so it was never a criteria thus you going as. Far making urself learn the names of the players of his team (if he is anything like me) myt even make him lose interestin the relationship as most guys will term it being clingy.

  4. In as much as I couldn’t really be bothered bout football and all, I’m a die hard patriot when it comes to Nigeria playing against any other country or arsenal is playing cos my dad n my brother are arsenal fans and coincidentally, I have managed to date only arsenal fans (I don’t pick em, they just are). Arsenal has my loyalty win or lose tho I don’t even know the name of the players just a few. However, a lot of girls can like to club hop tho and that’s how u know they’re dating someone new. In as much as I believe you may have some good points but I also think its trying to hard to impress him. I’m kinda petty I love attention but for some reason, when it comes to football I actually don’t mind being left alone in the house to watch it while he hangs with his friends to watch it. During halftime we actually text each other about the game or call and gist about it not that I don’t go sometimes to watch the game with him other club I like is Barcelona I hv the biggest crush on Dani Alves my ex used to be so Jealous cos once they’re playing I always have his picture up n I must change my name to Mrs dani Alves funny he loves Barcelona but cos of my crush on dani, he would want them to lose, another ex said u could leave him for dani if I could ( duh), he is just a fantasy so is thiery Henry. Bottom line I don’t change My view for no boyfriend. Issue of game I love to play game so much it’s annoying but I find some guys find it attractive (i’m an addict the house could be burning and I wouldn’t know. Again it is something I picked up from my brother not to impress a bf) generally I think any sport I watch on my own and don’t grasp immediately, or like immediately there is a very slim chance I guy would make me like it and i’m not one to pretend. Why I think ur article is trying too hard is the whole cooking him n the boys something to go with it n all I hv dated loads of guys ( cos I get bored easily and life is too short), and most of them preferred cooking for me so I hardly ever cook in a guy’s house, not even for any of my ex fiancés but I did manage to like one guy well enuf to cook for him and he ended up being the first guy to dump me mind you, i’m a very good cook and he always liked me cooking whenever I visited and he would call his friends to come eat and they actually would carry some home.(well I blamed myself cos my father always warned his girls never to cook in a man’s house unless you are married to him or he has paid ur bride price). So for me the whole pepper soup, asun n the rest will have to wait till we are married, as my father said you should do ur best to keep a relationship but always remember its the guy that should be striving to impress you and show that he really cares about you and when you are married that is when you let him know he made the right choice with you. Honestly I find its those guys that loved cooking for me that still wants me back even after I dumped them. (my opinion tho).

  5. I love!…what if it was the other way around…like the girl was d fanatic and the boy hated football…will this theory help???putting in mind a mans ego?…then to crown it,An African Man from Nigeria?

  6. Like seriously? Girls will go all these ways to please a fanatic boyfriend? Will he go all the way to attend a fashion show or fashion exhibition with you? O ga o. Thank God my husband isn’t that sick with football. The addiction, I find so repulsive. I was an ardent fan before Nigerians took it out of proportion. Before marriage, I had this wonderful boyfriend (RIP)who was a die-hard fan of Barcelona FC and Chelsea. He gave me my space and I gave him his. When he went next house to watch football and make noise, he checked me during half times or even screams for me across the fence to check on me. That is care/respect/love. I will not find it amusing if a guy vent football anger on me! It won’t take me 1 day to pack the lack-of-respect relationship up! When the boys came over, he took time out to provide their chops and beer (I helped out) and I just stayed away in the comfort of the bedroom(he made sure I wasn’t treated like a maid or die-there girlfriend). But I think it is time women bring their men back to reality, the fanaticism and stupidity that goes with today’s football is distressing. It has made the game too uninteresting for potential fans like me and many other women

  7. lovely piece…
    i totally agree

    i always love playing ctr with my guy. i even had my younger brother teach me how all the ojoro codes to PES and all. i agree it gets boring after a game or two but at least i tried. i try to watch when he plays with his friends and make fun of whoever is losing.
    when he’s stuck playing video games, i’ll lie on his legs, he’ll get the gist. if he’s playing ultimate boxing, am on my pc playing dinner dash. our two cut four. shikena

    its just the little ways to show him you care and accept him for who he is…
    remember: a WISE WOMAN builds her home… the bible didnt say its up to the man to build the home

    #winks

  8. I somewhat agree with this post. I think it’s ok to show some level of interest in what your partner enjoys (this should be mutual by the way) but running a catering service each time he and his boys come over to watch footie is a tad desperate to me. He won’t crucify you just because you’re not as fanatical about his interests as he is because I’m sure he knew this before you started dating. All I’ll say is be yourself and anyone who truly loves you will accept you as you are.

  9. As if her entire life is about the man, ah ah! I was almost concluding the guy does not love her until you said ‘he loves her’. See, we are first individual before lovers.
    Dear babes, do not loose your sense of self because you are in a relationship with a crazy football lover, can you not spend 3 hours by yourself? Trust me, even when the other party is available, we always need time of solitude as individuals. Why don’t you do something you like while he watches football. Let me share a personal experience with you, my ex is a football lover, he plays and watches, incidentally he’s also a Gunner, in those days, anytime he’s watching a match, he would have two two tv sets in the sitting room, one for football(him), the other for a movie(mine), he would mute his, cos he can watch a football match without voice and leave the volume of mine. Personally I consider it a waste of my time spending 2 hours of my time watching a football match.
    Go and find you own hubbies o, I beg you in the name of God

  10. As a guy and an Arsenal fan, While I commend the writer’s efforts at trying to get ladies interested in watching football, I think the guys also have a big role to play in it, we have to find ways to also get the ladies intesrested…take time to explain things to her, tell her jokes about players (such as Ramsey, Beware of that guy, everytime he scores a goal, a globally known celebrity dies the next day!!!)…just things that’ll make someone interested in something she has no idea about

  11. Pingback: Reader’s Corner – When Your Man Supports the team that lost | tlsplace

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