Brenda from Lagos writes about something I’m sure most women have thought about – the masculine obsession with football. I’m sure you’ll find it useful and enjoyable. You can visit her blog http://mycookingzonewithbrenda.blogspot.com/
I know it’s difficult; I know you may hate it with a passion! But try and make him feel at home when he does that guy thing he loves. And make yourself love it as well… and you never can tell, you might even get as addicted as he is.
When he watches football games, prepare isiewu, asun, fish pepper soup or nkwobi for him, and serve it with very chilled bottle of his favorite drink.
If he is on a game console like a teenager, remember he is your ‘baby’; get him popcorn or chin-chin with chilled drinks to go with it.
When he sees movies in the sitting room, I would recommend a cuddle on the couch. It will give you something to chat about when you guys are bored and having cricket moments.
Sweetheart, forget the drone of the narrator’s voice and watch that documentary with him. Ugh! I know you can’t stand most of those documentaries and cartoons he watches… not to worry, just form ‘being interested’ and get some cuddle *wink*. It will also give you an opportunity to learn the way he sees life, you never can tell how important that will be. Don’t call him boring; yes I totally understand, it can be boring but try as much as possible to build your relationship with him and please do not overdo it because it might back fire ooooohhhh.
There is a friend of mine who wants to impress her man and learn everything about football; but she can’t stand football and her man is a football lover – diehard football fan… more like a fanatic and to worsen the case he is an Arsenal fan. He is one of those fans who tend to pour their frustration or anger meant for Arsene Wenger or the players on the nearest available person whenever they lose a game which unfortunately happens often. *no offence to Arsenal Fans* He will go as far as nagging and forming compulsory fasting occasioned by his desire to show his arsenal colleagues how to eat healthy. Last season Arsenal lost plenty unnecessary matches and kai! My babe hear am from her man wella! This increased her hatred for the game called football and the sight of anything bearing ‘Arsenal´ or the club’s logo spoilt her mood.
One day we got chatting on bbm; let me add that my bbm personal messages weekends are usually about the premier league or football updates generally. She wanted to know if I was really feeling football with my status updates or just trying to impress someone… I told her I wished I was only trying to impress someone because my female friends complain about how I tend to get distracted when watching a football game. I told her of one time I went to a club with my cousins and there was a TV by the corner showing reviews of previous football matches. Guess what? I found myself a very good spot, took a seat and watched to the utter disgust of my female cousins and amazement of my male cousins. I made her see how deeply I loved the game.
I encouraged her to try and watch a full game with all concentration and that she just migh get to love the game as well. Her response – she said she can never watch the game as it has negatively affected her relationship. I replied that particular statement with “lol” as I didn’t understand what she was trying to say. She decided to call as the gist wasn’t flowing so smoothly over bbm. She complained about her man leaving her at home to go see a game at his friend’s. This, she said, happened most weekends which were the only time they had to spend time together due to very busy weekdays. He already knew she couldn’t stand football and he never fancied watching it with someone who didn’t have a clue about the game or someone who would hiss the house down when he watches a game because she would rather see something else.
She said that she had tried watching it sometimes but never enjoyed it. She said she dared not ask him any question when a game is on as he would mumble and make her regret asking the question in the first place. Okay! Even when she decides to follow him to his friend’s to see a game; all they chat/shout/argue about is how some guy called Ramsey brings about hard luck to the team; how RVP was the light of the club and why Arsene Wenger chose to play Ramsey and not Walcott. I realized she already knew the names of some players and I felt she would cope if only she put her mind to it.
It’s a matter of her not bothering herself; learning to take it the way it comes; enjoy it and sharing that moment with her man. As we continued the conversation she cried about her man spending close to 25 to 30 minutes before and after a game arguing and analyzing a match with his friends but spending less than 1 minute with her on the phone. It was so funny that I had to laugh out. She said her man’s family comes first, football second and then she comes third. She lamented that football was the only issue she had with her man. Don’t get her wrong, this guy loves her so much that when there is no football related stuff around you would see it all over him that it’s her or no one else. I told her she should not allow football or Arsenal of all clubs to affect her relationship.
My opinion in this kind of situation is “if you can’t beat them you join them” I advised her to learn how to love the game, and her man’s ‘precious’ Arsenal. I recommended she gets him Arsenal souvenirs or jerseys so that she can equally be mentioned when he talks football with his friends, even if as a jersey or souvenir buyer. I advised she should trying getting interested in his football gist and also try watching a full game with him as it may bring up things to talk about when they are alone.
Don’t force it, just flow with the game and please don’t talk off point if you don’t want to put people off and embarrass yourself. It is better to keep mute and listen until you feel comfortable enough to flow with the discussion. And most importantly, anytime your man is angry about a game, oblige him and show some empathy… empathy ooo, not sympathy. This would make you guys console one another and also errrm cool off together *cough cough*.
If he forms a hunger strike due to a bad game, tempt him with that meal you know he can’t resist. Make him invite his friends over to the house to watch the game and you treat them with some lovely small chops while the game goes on. Don’t forget to sit with them when you are done and ask for updates. Once in a while allow him to go out to watch the game. If you survive this task am sure you will smile at the end; my friend is on hers now *smiles*
What are the meals you think will suit a football game, a game console or movies session without causing so much distraction?
Football: isiewu, nkwobi, pepper soup, asu, suya compliment with chilled drinks.
Games: pop corn, chin chin, cake, small chops compliment with cold drinks
Movies: popcorn, cake, chin chin, small chops, fried meat, and ice cream compliment with drinks on the rock.