Reader’s Corner – Dig On… Gold Digger

I announced on twitter that blog readers can now send in write-ups on any subject matter of their choice and these would be posted on Fridays. Today is the first in Friday Readers’ Post. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and was in stitches. I’m sure you will too. Today’s entry is from BISODUN from LAGOS

You can read Bisodun’s other material on her blog at http://bisodunwrites.blogspot.com/

TL

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The moment Segilola stepped out of the popular Shoprite supermarket in Ikeja, she was approached by a good-looking young chap, about 6’2. Dude sure had nerves, as Segilola   was quite unapproachable. I mean, the Prada handbag she had glued to her wrist was made from the world’s rarest and most expensive animal skins. Her total demeanor screamed “back off”, you know, the cute little pout, flicking of her long streaks, full human hair extension and all that badass attitude that all these rap kids would refer to as “swagger”. You couldn’t tell if she was going shopping or dining with the queen.

“Hey beautiful”

Turning around to peek at who had hollered at her, Segilola’s eyes immediately did a quick scan of the young man’s shoes and wrist watch, to see if it “made sense”

Movado watch, Gucci drivers, not bad…. She thought, smiling coyly.

“You done shopping?” He asked.

“Well…. Yea”

“Forgive me, my name is Segun”

“Segi, she said changing her birth name to a sleeker version.

“Would you mind joining me for a drink?”

“Well…. I don’t drink, would prefer Thai food actually,” she said, doing the hair flick thing again.

“Hmm….. There isn’t one around here, right?

“There isn’t, but there’s one on the island, Pattaya, to be precise,”

“Unfortunately, I’m not mobile”

“Really? Is your car at the mechanic’s? ”

“Hmmm….. Actually, I don’t drive”

“You don’t? She interrupted, her eyes lit up.

“Is there a problem?

“A lot actually, nice meeting you, she said and stormed off.

 Segilola never gave Segun a chance, she didn’t care if he was a wonderful, caring, intelligent guy, she left on the hint that he didn’t have a car and translated that to the lack of a good number of other material things. Are you Segilola? If you are, I’m not here to judge you; I just want to know why?

 Goodness gracious! It seems ladies these days are involved in some unconscious gold rush these days. They seem to be carrying a metal gold sieve pan and pass every man they meet through it. If fine gold doesn’t come through that sieve, it’s over, isn’t it? A lot of girls would only date guys that possess certain material things, e.g. a car, a house (preferably in one of the highbrow areas) a mouth watering salary, or a great business. It’s certainly no news. In most cases, when a girl meets a guy, the first question her girls ask her besides his physical appearance include; “Is he paid up?” “What car does he drive?” “Where does he live?” And so on. God bless you if your answers are negative.

Gold digger is slang for greedy women – a woman whose interest in a relationship is to get material benefits from it.   Majority of them don’t work. They never pay for dinner or entertainment and always ask for favors without offering any rewards (except sex sha, cos for some it’s actually a thank you gift). Please note that after you’ve read this definition (urban dictionary) you should know your stance, because some ladies are in denial! Once again, are you Segilola? I remember those times when girls would say, “I can “date” rich men, but when it’s time for “marriage”, I want a God fearing, nice, caring, sweet man”! What happened to all those promises? (I guess all na yans!) because right now, all I see, is women, stooping low, tolerating crap from men, all in the name of marrying a  “rich/society big boy”. They throw caution to wind, and would “rather cry in a limo, than laugh on a bicycle!”

Love? What has love got to do with relationships and marriages these days? I’ve heard women say “love is not enough’ I can’t suffer, I want a rich man!” A friend of mine actually believes that once there’s money, love will spring forth (lol!) Gone are the days, when women married for love (our mothers, to be precise). Those were the days, women stood by their men, through the struggle, supported him, believed in him and prayed for him. Many ladies these days, don’t want that struggle, they want a “readymade man”. No waiting, no striving, everything easy!

Another friend of mine has sworn that she’ll only marry a rich man even though she has to wait till her late 30’s. She also mentioned she would only marry a society man, one with a well-known last name, so she can be addressed as “Mrs………………… That’s a topic for another day.

Now to the main issue, why do some women consider the size of a man’s pocket before entering into any relationship?

Some have said marriage is a battlefield, where women are most likely going to lose, and for them, in order not to be a complete loser, they “extract” as much money, property and expensive jewelry that they can.  For such women, marriage is a complete business transaction. “All’s fair in love and war” is their philosophy.

Some are gold diggers because they lacked a lot of material things as kids and so for them, marrying a rich man will be a major breakthrough.

Some are gold diggers based on experience. Life happened to them and because of their past, they would follow their head rather than their heart. They don’t trust men, and are always defensive. It’s kinda like a situation where they are looking out for themselves.

At the end of the day, every woman wants security, no woman wants a man that can’t provide. But I think where we should draw the line, is what your definition of provision is? Are you dating a fresh graduate and expecting him to take you to London for Christmas? You must be in la la land! Please wake up! Are you engaged to a newly employed guy who is earning a five digit salary, yet you’re expecting a Hermes bag? You need deliverance if you are! Let’s learn to cut our coat according to our cloth. If your man can’t afford “funmi hair”(expensive human hair extension) please go and buy “darling Yankee” or better still, “premium too” Gbam!

Hold up men! Don’t get all excited, nodding your heads. Women shouldn’t take all the blame, men are equally guilty, “If men didn’t offer women all these fancy things, women wouldn’t even think in that direction”. Often times, men lure women with expensive gifts. They’ll do anything to get that girl. Talk about instances Kola borrows Ladi’s G-wagon, just to take Caroline to dinner or is it using all your life savings to buy an Evoque, but you’re squatting with a friend in a BQ in Lekki (a highbrow area in Lagos) or those that don’t even have a roof over their heads, when no one’s looking, they sneak into their very expensive cars, and crash there (Yes, it sounds outrageous, but I’ve met a guy with this story).

This reminds of me of a story I once heard.

Girl: Yes who are you

Guy:  My name is Tega

Girl: Do you earn a salary

Guy:  No I don’t, but…

Girl: Do you drive your own car?

Guy:  No I don’t, but

Girl: Sorry, but I can’t have anything to do with you

Guy:  I don’t earn a salary because I pay salaries, and I don’t drive my own car because my driver drives my cars. And yes, I can’t have anything to do with you either, so the feeling is mutual.

 A lot of girls are constantly searching for materials things in their prospective husbands/Partners. Is money your number one criteria in a relationship? Does money answer all things? Would you rather cry in a limo, than laugh on a bicycle? Please drop a line………….

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63 thoughts on “Reader’s Corner – Dig On… Gold Digger

  1. Lmao! @ segilola. The truth is some guys are also gold diggers. Nice write-up, is dis gonna b in series too? As 4 me I wld laugh in a limo :d cuz with God all things are possible

  2. Lol! I no fit laugh! Bisodun ur write up is really cool! *smiles* if ladies/guys would be real and surround themselves with real pple, the world will be a beta plc.

  3. Good talk . But you didn’t talk about ladies who are desperate to ‘get married’ early cos they feel they are ‘getting older’. These ones are more dangerous as they can do anything to get married. Thanks
    Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

    • Check out er blog, she’s actually written a piece on gals dat r desperate 2 get married. She’s an interestn writer.

  4. Hmmmmmm! Pls try laughing in a keke napep on a raining day with lagos flood n portholes n suddenly a sleek limou emerge n gives u d splash of y our live! U’ll end up dripping n sobbing to work with a huge sad face!

  5. Hahahahah abeg oi! I’m totally lafn in a limo…(Dnt believe in dat cryn in a limo shit) nd a bicycle will b der also 4 exercise tinz! Loool

  6. *standing ovation*

    The thing is, individuals these days have no cognisance of who we are or what we want. Damn straight money makes us happy, but not 24hrs a day, 7days a week.
    Happiness is when there is that special someone who makes us happy by mere thought alone. We should not lie to ourslves, money without love is a vacuum of sadness. Both men and womaen have a lot to answer for.

  7. Lol, well written!
    Babe, if wealth is the only criteria you use in selecting, poverty dey worry you!
    Don’t’t date/marry a lazy man, if I find a God loving/smart/hardworking guy whom I like , wheww! I like money o, but if we don’t have plenty today, tomorrow still dey!

  8. Great write up… Contributed my 2cents there as well… Are some men good enough to suffer with??? Most of them change when d boom happens later in life. But as a matter of principle I refuse to be a Gold digger

  9. I’m nt gold digger o, I dnt even nid ny guy’s moni 2 b fabulous, I’m an independent woman 2 d core, but I wld neva settle for any poor guy. He shld av his moni and I’ll av mine den we can mingle. U know a tru man’s character wen he has little change in his pocket.

  10. I think the guys too should learn to cut their coat according to their clothe. You don’t expect a girl who have lived all her life in a duplex with her own x 6 ft bed, and all other luxuries to come and start with you in a face me i slap you house. So my advice, when you are looking for a wife be careful where you look.

  11. Sincerely I would rather laugh on a bicycle than cry in a limo if the guy is true…… But then how many guys are true out there?

  12. If this is gunna become a recurring series, please tell Bisodun to give the story a once-over before posting. Before you blind us.
    The grammatical errors just cannot be “stomached”.

    (especially when my people are the ones on the hot seat here.)

  13. Ummmm nice write up, bt hey no one wants to suffer every1 wnts to gt married nd b happy.. Dat doesn’t mean ur a gold digger, it simply means u want d good tins of life nd u deff dnt wnt ur kids to suffer.. To b sincere I wuld rather Cry in a Limo.LoL

  14. Wow!…cool…..nice one…..
    I aint no segi but got a friend whose one cos of pressure from her parents……wat u gotta say abt dat?

  15. I tink guys are worse gold diggers. They are more attracted 2 rich gals with rich parents, so they 2 can reep 4rm d connects and fortune. Btw, am a strong believer of u can’t really know if a guy truly loves u, until he is rich. I av seen situations where d gal sttruggles with and for d guy, d guy makes it and completely change. Then God fearing guy?? Not sure dat truily exisits dey are just a bunch of pretenders, na dem cheat pass, na dem lie pass…..trust me, av tried all categories of guys and realised it beta 2 b with a rich, society guy(I married one)…..and cry in a limo, d tears wld be short termed, dan 2 laugh in a bicycle because wen u cant pay school fees and hospital bills, u def won’t be laughing and if he makes it and he starts misbehaving, u’ll cry blood.

    • So so true, in the end only God knows, but what amazes me, is that people always talk about the guy having money. What if after you marry him he looses everything, would you leave him then? Sometimes we need to be futuristic in our thinking.

  16. Yes I would rather cry in a limo than on a bicycle men are not worth struggling with,after making their money they would start noticing your flaws nd leave u for some one else.So wt do u xpct?

  17. As for me, I can’t date a guy because of his money.I can date a guy who is not rich but who’s got prospects. Not all poor guys will remain poor for life. I’ll like to be part of my hubby’s success story.

  18. I’ve read too many stories like this and all i keep thinking is…..yea yea…..Girls dig nd all of that. I reflect on my own past relationship were the dude i dated had no car, was paid very little, most of the money was not even spent on me, we always split the bills…I did everything that would never make him feel as if he had nothing….and what happened in the end?

    No, he wasn’t a gold digger…but he didn’t appreciate my effort…….I still would not change who i am because of the experience with him….butt…………Believe me….I’m not sure i’ll ever try that hard again. EVER!…..

  19. Sincerely speaking I’d rather cry in a limo than laugh on a bicycle..poverty has dealth me blows I would never forget in a hurry….I remember how frustrated my dad can be when he’s broke and he wil transfer the aggression to everyone and at times when mum couldn’t bear it they wil so fight themselves and I end up being the one 2 settle the dispute….so if we were rich back then dad would never had been frustrated and there won’t be any need 2 fight each other….
    Secondly I dated a guy for so long when he had nothing while I was in school he wasn’t a student buh I helpd him out from the little money my parents gave me and when he made it he broke off the relationship with d excuse dat he can’t marry a student….can u imagine all my efforts down d drain

  20. While sum ladies r searchin 4 a rich man, I am focused on bein a rich lady. My man doesn’t drive a car yet but I knw he wil drive cars later. Prospects is all I look for & I am glad I got a man who has got a lot of that xxx

  21. I dunno…..d real question is who are u? Evrytime,24/7,evrywhere…Who are u? Its not abt an isolated attitude of wantin a rich husband at all cost…its a deeper picture of who u really are.simple! D depth of ur thinkin&character reflects in ur daily decisions,if one of them is “I must marry a rich husband” I’m afraid u are shallow,no matter wot excuse u think u hav. Evn d devil fit tolk say he get reason 2 try 2 ovethrow God nah! Bottom line:Go with the inner witness &peace that u’r with d rite guy who also has a great character,&evrythn will work out! I mean,seriously,can Man really always succeed at fixin d future?! Only God absolutely knos & insures the future 4u. Wot if He’s rich 2day,&poor 2mrw? Wot if he’s poor 2day &rich 2mrw? U rly hav no way of knowin. Love God,God knos how 2fix 2mrw &make thns turn out alrite 4u &d dude!

  22. Well……. I personally don’t think money answers everything . As they say “the rich also cry” did anybody remember that series back in the days ? This is going to be a nice blog ooooo . Tarantatata I’m loving this !!☺

  23. Browsed through the comments and I believe everyone wants to cry/laugh in a limo……
    Wow! This write up really struck me and all I can say is I am GUILTY ooooh! So, I’m not as brazen as the examples given but any guy who approaches me must be worth talking to before I talk to him. I know it is wrong and I’m glad I have my wonderful bf whom I’m being true to. The fact that he has some really fine gold doesn’t hurt 😀

  24. Yup! I wud rather cry in a limo………… Either ways! Men cud be cruel; rich or not so I wud rada be spoilt silly with d good things life has to offer n not be in love dan be in love wit someone who cnt afford all these tins thereby making me unhappy…… Love isn’t all der is to life abeg!!!

  25. Dis is rily tru, pipl nid 2 accept demselves 4 hu dey ar n luv deir spouses 4 hu dey ar n mst importantly trust in God 2 find d right partner, nt d size of ur partners wallet, cos nt all dat glitters is gold

  26. Money or no money, the guy has to have potential. A guy who hasn’t got it all now, but has the potentioal to is much better than a ‘rich’ guy who has nothing but the riches he probably inherited from his folks.

    Money makes us happy, yes, but the love of it will eventually make u ‘sad’. Trust me, if you find a guy u can laugh with, who understands you and vice versa, you’ll have had all d riches some people pay so much for.

    Hope this makes sence

  27. Nice one, this happens even in my school. And this generation of our is really tolloing a destructive road I won’t end well for most of them… NA ONLY GOD GO SAVE US OOO

  28. I also feel this piece is a call to self-evaluation by both male and female alike. We should be guided by the right principles…

  29. read almost all of d comments and laffd a bit at those who’d rather “cry in a limo”. y not just think of cryin in YOUR own limo rather dn someone else’s? Y not b d ‘GOLD’ to be dug? and the annoyin thing is a lot of all ds gals don’t care wat all these guys do to make all of ds money. just b careful lookin for d limos so u don’t b d one ‘producing’ his next bentley or ferrari. i’m of d opinion dt if i have to live a good life (family and all), i work hard for it. nice one bisodun… keep tellin ’em

  30. As easy as it was for u to sit there n compose this article about gold diggers, I’ll tell you point blank that there is a reason behind every action girls take…I’ll cite just one example…talk of this lady who believes in love and standing by her man through et all, never demanding, always supportive n enduring because on her own, she can take care of her self and even when most of her girlfriends are travelling out, getting expensive gifts from d guys they roll with, she stays true to whatever her guy offers because she’s got love for him n YET has gotten heart broken based on diff circumstances four times by four guys who at d end of the day claims she’s every guys dream girl BUT they either cheated or just didn’t feel it or bla bla….when girls who aren’t even half as decent as she is get it all????? Think about it! Behind every ‘bitch’ or ‘gold digger’, a guy or some guys made her dat way….

  31. “Rather cry in a limo than laugh on a bicycle”. This is OUTRAGEOUS! Who is responsible for all these new generatoon slogans? I like them though.

  32. Oh! This is so damn true! I think this sometimes results from peer pressure where a girl sees what her peers are ‘using’…….the tush phones, latest designers, styles in vogue and the likes. Knowing fully well that she can’t afford them…..the “rich guy syndrome” comes into play. But after reading this, its our hope that they learn from it. Great piece! Keep it up!

  33. In as much as we wouldn’t encourage any lady to marry a guy who cannot take care ☀̤̣̈̇f her, a lady shouldn’t marry a guy bcs ☀̤̣̈̇f material things bcs love is important. I dare say that there r more important factors to consider when marrying other than love esp for women bcs we love easily. It’s very important that a guy loves a woman before he marries her. It is more difficult for them to love. Women hav learnt †ђξ hard way cos some men repay their loving, patient wives with evil bcs when they eventually got rich n all dt, they started womanizing. Wt they dint do when they were broke or had nuffin. In ds kinda matter, everything isn’t always black or white. It’s a lil conplicated! God help us jor. I hv so much to say buh dont want to write an epistle as ds has been posted for ova year nw

  34. In as much as we wouldn’t encourage any lady to marry a guy who cannot take care ☀̤̣̈̇f her, a lady shouldn’t marry a guy bcs ☀̤̣̈̇f material things bcs love is important. I dare say that there r more important factors to consider when marrying other than love esp for women bcs we love easily. It’s very important that a guy loves a woman before he marries her. It is more difficult for them to love. Women hav learnt †ђξ hard way cos some men repaid their loving, patient wives with evil bcs when they eventually got rich n all dt, they started womanizing. Wt they dint do when they were broke or had nuffin. In ds kinda matter, everything isn’t always black or white. It’s a lil conplicated! God help us jor. I hv so much to say buh dont want to write an epistle as ds has been posted for ova year nw

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