I announced on twitter that blog readers can now send in write-ups on any subject matter of their choice and these would be posted on Fridays. Today is the first in Friday Readers’ Post. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and was in stitches. I’m sure you will too. Today’s entry is from BISODUN from LAGOS
You can read Bisodun’s other material on her blog at http://bisodunwrites.blogspot.com/
The moment Segilola stepped out of the popular Shoprite supermarket in Ikeja, she was approached by a good-looking young chap, about 6’2. Dude sure had nerves, as Segilola was quite unapproachable. I mean, the Prada handbag she had glued to her wrist was made from the world’s rarest and most expensive animal skins. Her total demeanor screamed “back off”, you know, the cute little pout, flicking of her long streaks, full human hair extension and all that badass attitude that all these rap kids would refer to as “swagger”. You couldn’t tell if she was going shopping or dining with the queen.
Turning around to peek at who had hollered at her, Segilola’s eyes immediately did a quick scan of the young man’s shoes and wrist watch, to see if it “made sense”
Movado watch, Gucci drivers, not bad…. She thought, smiling coyly.
“You done shopping?” He asked.
“Forgive me, my name is Segun”
“Segi, she said changing her birth name to a sleeker version.
“Would you mind joining me for a drink?”
“Well…. I don’t drink, would prefer Thai food actually,” she said, doing the hair flick thing again.
“Hmm….. There isn’t one around here, right?
“There isn’t, but there’s one on the island, Pattaya, to be precise,”
“Unfortunately, I’m not mobile”
“Really? Is your car at the mechanic’s? ”
“Hmmm….. Actually, I don’t drive”
“You don’t? She interrupted, her eyes lit up.
“Is there a problem?
“A lot actually, nice meeting you, she said and stormed off.
Segilola never gave Segun a chance, she didn’t care if he was a wonderful, caring, intelligent guy, she left on the hint that he didn’t have a car and translated that to the lack of a good number of other material things. Are you Segilola? If you are, I’m not here to judge you; I just want to know why?
Goodness gracious! It seems ladies these days are involved in some unconscious gold rush these days. They seem to be carrying a metal gold sieve pan and pass every man they meet through it. If fine gold doesn’t come through that sieve, it’s over, isn’t it? A lot of girls would only date guys that possess certain material things, e.g. a car, a house (preferably in one of the highbrow areas) a mouth watering salary, or a great business. It’s certainly no news. In most cases, when a girl meets a guy, the first question her girls ask her besides his physical appearance include; “Is he paid up?” “What car does he drive?” “Where does he live?” And so on. God bless you if your answers are negative.
Gold digger is slang for greedy women – a woman whose interest in a relationship is to get material benefits from it. Majority of them don’t work. They never pay for dinner or entertainment and always ask for favors without offering any rewards (except sex sha, cos for some it’s actually a thank you gift). Please note that after you’ve read this definition (urban dictionary) you should know your stance, because some ladies are in denial! Once again, are you Segilola? I remember those times when girls would say, “I can “date” rich men, but when it’s time for “marriage”, I want a God fearing, nice, caring, sweet man”! What happened to all those promises? (I guess all na yans!) because right now, all I see, is women, stooping low, tolerating crap from men, all in the name of marrying a “rich/society big boy”. They throw caution to wind, and would “rather cry in a limo, than laugh on a bicycle!”
Love? What has love got to do with relationships and marriages these days? I’ve heard women say “love is not enough’ I can’t suffer, I want a rich man!” A friend of mine actually believes that once there’s money, love will spring forth (lol!) Gone are the days, when women married for love (our mothers, to be precise). Those were the days, women stood by their men, through the struggle, supported him, believed in him and prayed for him. Many ladies these days, don’t want that struggle, they want a “readymade man”. No waiting, no striving, everything easy!
Another friend of mine has sworn that she’ll only marry a rich man even though she has to wait till her late 30’s. She also mentioned she would only marry a society man, one with a well-known last name, so she can be addressed as “Mrs………………… That’s a topic for another day.
Now to the main issue, why do some women consider the size of a man’s pocket before entering into any relationship?
Some have said marriage is a battlefield, where women are most likely going to lose, and for them, in order not to be a complete loser, they “extract” as much money, property and expensive jewelry that they can. For such women, marriage is a complete business transaction. “All’s fair in love and war” is their philosophy.
Some are gold diggers because they lacked a lot of material things as kids and so for them, marrying a rich man will be a major breakthrough.
Some are gold diggers based on experience. Life happened to them and because of their past, they would follow their head rather than their heart. They don’t trust men, and are always defensive. It’s kinda like a situation where they are looking out for themselves.
At the end of the day, every woman wants security, no woman wants a man that can’t provide. But I think where we should draw the line, is what your definition of provision is? Are you dating a fresh graduate and expecting him to take you to London for Christmas? You must be in la la land! Please wake up! Are you engaged to a newly employed guy who is earning a five digit salary, yet you’re expecting a Hermes bag? You need deliverance if you are! Let’s learn to cut our coat according to our cloth. If your man can’t afford “funmi hair”(expensive human hair extension) please go and buy “darling Yankee” or better still, “premium too” Gbam!
Hold up men! Don’t get all excited, nodding your heads. Women shouldn’t take all the blame, men are equally guilty, “If men didn’t offer women all these fancy things, women wouldn’t even think in that direction”. Often times, men lure women with expensive gifts. They’ll do anything to get that girl. Talk about instances Kola borrows Ladi’s G-wagon, just to take Caroline to dinner or is it using all your life savings to buy an Evoque, but you’re squatting with a friend in a BQ in Lekki (a highbrow area in Lagos) or those that don’t even have a roof over their heads, when no one’s looking, they sneak into their very expensive cars, and crash there (Yes, it sounds outrageous, but I’ve met a guy with this story).
This reminds of me of a story I once heard.
Girl: Yes who are you
Guy: My name is Tega
Girl: Do you earn a salary
Guy: No I don’t, but…
Girl: Do you drive your own car?
Guy: No I don’t, but
Girl: Sorry, but I can’t have anything to do with you
Guy: I don’t earn a salary because I pay salaries, and I don’t drive my own car because my driver drives my cars. And yes, I can’t have anything to do with you either, so the feeling is mutual.
A lot of girls are constantly searching for materials things in their prospective husbands/Partners. Is money your number one criteria in a relationship? Does money answer all things? Would you rather cry in a limo, than laugh on a bicycle? Please drop a line………….