Finding Hubby – Episode 14


The tabloids were merciless. For weeks after the botched wedding, there was one story or the other about me, Gloria, Ossy and Yomi in every print and online tabloid and blog possible. Comedians used us as skits for their event promos. It was real bad. And trust Nollywood, within two weeks of the event, there was a movie out, complete with a poster of a reenactment of my scream on my knees at the church. They titled it “Love Scream”. Someone needs to do something about Nollywood. Really.

I had to pretend to the world I had known absolutely nothing about Yomi’s sexuality. That was the only way I salvaged my respectability. In fact, some people actually came to console me and tell me sorry. See en, when people are going through stuff, just leave them alone sometimes. Sorry my Yoruba ass.

Yomi left the country and no one could reach him. Not that I tried, but his family kept asking if I had heard from him or could reach him. They were genuinely afraid and were indeed nice people. They didn’t know I knew about him, so they kept trying to be good to me, trying to compensate me for the way their son had deceived me. I played along. Better that way than the other way I guess.

Gloria and Ossy have been asking for forgiveness. Again it’s that heart thing. They keep saying they were trying to make up for their previous mistake, trying to make sure they didn’t keep silent again while I walked into a trap. I could see their intentions were genuine and all, but couldn’t they have chosen a less disastrous way to “save” me? Gloria is a woman like me, and has been one of my closest friends for years. Even if Ossy didn’t understand how disastrous their actions would be to a fellow woman, how could Gloria not understand? So my head keeps telling me to forgive them, but my heart bluntly refuses to do anything of that nature (influenced by the fact that they are happily married and I’m still carrying my father’s surname plus Glo is preggy for Ossy now). Abi if you were in my shoes, would you?

Since I had taken a long leave for the wedding, I didn’t have to go to work immediately and so had time to just be by myself in my house. Thankfully, I didn’t resign at Yomi’s prompting based on his promise of endless money. I would have felt worse if I didn’t have my job to look forward to going back to. Toke was my friend through the time and she made sure amongst other things that I was eating, didn’t strangle or drug myself to death, burn down my house or call assassins to go after Glo and Ossy. The funny thing is, now that this Yomi wedding brouhaha was over, I felt more at peace than I’d been in a long time. In retrospect, I would really have been miserable in that marriage. Truth is, I’m still a romantic at heart, and could never really be happy in those circumstances.

I went through the whole “I’m so done with men” cycle, to the “I’ll just have a kid for some random man” phase and then back to the “when will my own come” phase. By the time I was at this phase, Toke and my mum were satisfied that I wasn’t suicidal and would get over the disappointment and still marry. Prior to that, I had been closely monitored and kept away from sharp objects and medicine bottles.

One of the ways I deal with disappointment is to get something new as if to tell myself I deserve good stuff even if life was trying to say otherwise. I acquired a tear rubber 2012 Honda CRV in this period. Big girl, big toy, I can’t shout. (and if you don’t think a CRV is big enough, snap and send your car pix #yimu)

My leave and the commensurate insulation from the world soon ended and resumption day at work came. I had dreaded this moment for so long and had rehearsed it in my mind severally until I had each detail planned out. Determined to look every inch unfazed, I poured all my energies into looking good. And dayum, I looked good. I did not fail to notice that a few heads turned when I parked my sleek toy and stepped out. I made up my mind to enjoy life everyday and not kill myself about marrying, quoting Sefi Attah’s book title, Everything good will come.

So I was pleasantly surprised when I got back from lunch that day and met a bouquet of flowers with a note on my table. Here’s what it said

“You’re a masterpiece, the epitome of beauty”.

I appreciated the gesture (yes, everyone likes to feel like the epitome of beauty even if you know it’s a wash), but really didn’t take it seriously. Over dramatics of any kind were not in my agenda at the moment. I didn’t even bother to mention it to Toke when she came around. It was that insignificant to me. We watched old episodes of Ally Macbeal and she crashed at mine.

Next day, I unconsciously expected to see flowers and co on my table when I got back from lunch. Nothing! Looooooong hiss, see me already anticipating. It was on the second day I inquired about Ossy, as I hadn’t seen him since resumption. I was told he had left the company for banking. Whatever, it was better not to have to deal with him. The moment I entered the car park, I notice a bright red gift bag on top of my car. I was already internally abusing the person that used my new car as a table when I saw it had my name on it. Forgetting that Boko Haram is threatening everyone, I quickly looked into the bag. In it were the loveliest pair of silver Louboutin shoes I’ve ever seen. This person must know I love shoes. Kai! When I brought the shoes out of the bag, a note fell out of them. It had another message on it

“You are my centerpiece, I’ll build my world around you”.

This guy knows Oyin is a poet o, what kind of attack is this now? It’s as if the guy had taken time to study me and was hitting at my weak spots. I didn’t want to open up to anyone so soon after my last saga, the tabloids and blogs would have a field day. Plus I’m not a fan of stealth tactics. If you like me, oju l’oro wa.

These days, I can’t wait to go home after work, so I headed straight home. When I got home, I quickly took pictures and sent to Toke, giving her the meat of the gist. Trust the nonsense girl, she came up with all manner of conspiracy theories. I really think she should begin to write for some TV series, cos the girl’s imagination is on fertility drugs. She can know how to think up scenarios that all you will say is Tokeeeeeeeeeeeee! In the end, we had a good laugh and agreed I shouldn’t take the fellow seriously until he showed his face.

Next day, nothing at lunch, nothing at my car when I was leaving. I thought this guy had run out of ideas. Then I got to my gate and guess what I saw… a mannequin fully dressed, from sunshades to scarf to belt and even shoes beside it. Omo, this person knew my house. That was beginning to sound like a stalker, but do we have those in Naija? Or was it Yomi playing games ni? I quickly took pictures (making sure my gate and house number showed) and sent it to Toke. Seemed she was busy, no response, cos normal her would have called for the gist if she had seen the pix. This person was doing things that would definitely get my attention in a way that would trip me. I wanted to find out which one line poetry he had written this time and I moved the mannequin in and frisked it. Nothing. I couldn’t believe how disappointed I was. Why prince charming fall my hand now? mtchew. I decided to undress the mannequin and keep the clothes in the car for the drycleaner, while the mannequin stayed outside (I’m definitely not wearing them, would give them to charity. Love juju tinz). The note was handwritten across its chest –

“my cornerpiece, you bring it all together”.

Thursday, and I was up bright and early. My BB was blinking and Toke must have pinged me like hundred times for the gist. I filled her in on my drive to work. We both agreed our guy who we shall label Mr. Poet was getting more interesting. I spent a bit of the workday wondering what he would come up with today. He didn’t disappoint. When I got back from lunch, there was a gift card on my table for a pampering session at an exclusive Spa on Ligali Ayorinde. Accompanying it were two notes. One teased me about going straight home everyday and asked me to go to the spa for a change. The one I really wanted to see, the poem read

“My choicepiece, I chose you”.

Men, this guy was good. It wasn’t the gifts that got me, it’s the poetry. Together, they read like this

“You’re a masterpiece, the epitome of beauty

You’re my centerpiece, I’ll build my world around you

My cornerpiece, you bring it all together

My choicepiece, I chose you”

Kilodem! I was more than curious to know who this mystery guy was.

156 thoughts on “Finding Hubby – Episode 14

  1. It’s not fair naa, even married-ass me is in love with the new “person”. I fear the person will turn out to be a girl 🙂

  2. you no go kill somebody oh. you didnt even get enough of a breather after the wedding. haba! me sef no mind all this excitement. anyway, my fingers are crossed. i’m waiting to see what you will come up with this time. though, my mind is numb with all the twists and turns in this story.

  3. Oyin! Oyin!! Oyin!!! Shebi ya eye haf clear b4 b4? But u won’t year world. U wee soon trip into d river without knowing who this is again. I pray ur history doesn’t repeat itself

  4. Kiloderm reaLly! Couldn’t this person leave her for a bit? Every toddler knows u need time to breathe after this collosal tsunami she just got out of!
    But bbz, u sef! This is more than love for the finer things! Its greed na…I think i wd have ignored from flowers to shoes! Oh well! I’m just happy my gal is back on her feet and confronting life once again!
    I just wish she cd have settled for having a child. At a stage, u focus on things u can control. Cos This ‘poet’ go still be Ose!
    (TL, ds episodes had some mistakes o! Who is Femi? Sd have been Yomi rt? Can’t recall d other mistake)

  5. Anothing drama don start,oyin clegg,na wa ohhh,let’s Ơ̴̴̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴͡ how things unfold,nice episode

  6. Yes oh!…correct!….someone had to save her from that marriage and besides the Pastor also said it…. the right man was around the corner after all!…Abeg God must compensate this woman with a correct dude oh!…because this suffering must end!…haba!. ‘cause there is more drama after marriage like babes chasing her hubby and her different tactics to send them away….because at the end of the day, no man is perfect! Or better still let the man be perfect but let him have a daughter that likes to give wahala!…hmmmm!

    I don de join you write this story oh Lol!..!

    • Oh my gosh, I wish I cld get d next episode lik ri8 now. This is getting more interesting. Welldone Tunde

  7. Serioiusly??? 1st she had ossy ( I hated her 4 dat) now she has a mystery poet…..ha! How she fine reach ni? I’m a woman too o! When is my own ossy nd mystery man gonna find me????? Oyin u too much sha! Buh b kiaful.

  8. oyin babe, no b only u der more than curious o, omo i dey die to unfold d mystery person. but all d same, babe luk b4 u leap o, i cant bear to c u heartbroken buh enjoy it while it last.

  9. Jeez, this is punishment o! Now we’ll have to wait till Monday next week for another update. Choi, heaven help us o, this gist is something else. *twiddles thumb, waiting oh-so-impatiently for next week monday* But Oyin Clegg sef, na small small them dey see you catch sha.

  10. Plssssss gv us episode 15 tomoro or we go on strike,or better still send to me only,nd I will make sure no one see it
    Great work keep it up

  11. Abeg oyin what’s d next thingy for us bcos my own imagination wan wound be here ooo!!! LMAOL it had better not be a girl !!!

  12. ” They titled it “Love Scream”. Someone needs to do something about Nollywood. Really.”Looooooool!!!! Best statements eva in this whole series. Love scream! I can actually see the poster in my head. Meanwhile, not feelin this new guy jo. Poetry too corny and raZz. And quite dodgy that he decides to show up now (abi is it a she? Since we’re hanging in the gay territory)

  13. Na wa o ,Oyin ride on,shes so hott,wey i market dey sell always,d writer is jst full of suspense,abeg make dis story no jst end

  14. Oh no y this suspense nau!!! I’m soo in love with this. Mr poet already sef it had better not b ossy o!!!*paitientlywaiting*

  15. Seriously ooo episode 15 jor appear!d suspense is killing oo! Oyin enjoy d trips jare but l’aju e o! Once bitten twice shy

  16. Oyinnnnnnnnnn!!! I am officially beefing u!!! All dese fine fine tinz… Let’s share na,nwaiz,I’m glad u r gettin ur groove back in sum way! Nice 1 gurl! Wish u d best! It may be α girl 4all we know. Keepin ma fingers crossed. XXX

  17. I need to know where this is going, who is doing this and y to oyin clegg! Where has he been that he’s just knowing she is d corner, edge n centre piece??? Mtcheeeww. I like say oyin no dey dull n she no dey carry last!!!

  18. Oyiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnn!!!! Better watchout!! Ehn! Once bitten twice shy. “Monday” where are u ooooooo:-)

  19. WAT???? I have 2 ‎​wait till next week? NO!!!!!!! This is not fair!!! *crying*
    Oyin’s life= endless drama lmao

  20. How can she forget her ordeal so soon, cos she is getting distracted/carried away again, d slower for her now d better:: Look b4 u leap!

  21. Lyk cwiousli oyin maybe dis is ur chance 2 find thru love……dats if it actually exists*rolling eyes*….enjoy d roller coaster baby

  22. I was busy @ work and wen I got d link, I left my work jst to read today’s post; nd guess wat? I Wasn’t dissappointed! Love d twist! Nd I can’t wait for 23rd July!

  23. Thrilling episodes! Now I’d have to wait till next monday to knw who d person is (boy or girl). I jst hope мγ BIS won’t expire b4 then oº°

  24. My poet,please find me oo. i would supply you with all the addresses that you will need. keep it up TL. Monday pls come ooo

  25. Abegi this update was dry, ki lo de? How many weeks and already she is getting swept away in romance? Then she never truly loved Yomi.
    Allow her character to have some self growth or learn from her mistakes before she jumps into another romance.
    but in general i like this story

  26. Tunde! U just know how to make people salivate for more….kilodem! Goodluck to Oyin Clegg with this mystery guy….but she better not have her hopes too high cos me I don’t like this kindda mystery dates

  27. Oyin! Oyin!!! I’m very excited for you oh…..pls carry on ojare, after all, d best way to get over some borri is to get under some borri else. Be careful tho.

  28. dude you just killed the story i have lost interest in even reading this…you shouldn’t have revealed that this aint real people bruv…nyway you try sha…

  29. Hmmmmm…interesting. TL I hope Ɣõu’re ds romantic in real life o! No be jst for blog/novel, I hope Ɣõu’re spoiling ur partner o! Fully dressed mannequin…great concept! Buh seriously, its either Ɣõu grew up in d midst of females or Ɣõu’re gay, cos Ɣõu rily get d psyche of women wt ds Oyin character! Thumbs up!

  30. Oyinskipolo!!!!!!!!! No b u? Pond neva dry finish, u don dey follow ocean, I sorry for u if u r not sorry for ya self

  31. Mhen….I’m so feeling this eepisode especially †ђξ last few paragraphs. Am actually acting out †ђξ scene in my head like its me its happening too. Gosh…..i really crave †̥O̅ be pampered like you Oyin!!!

  32. Kilodem!! Dis. Gifts r so cray cray!!! Pour oyin I just hope ur heart aint gonna be broken again oooo!! Can’t wait.

  33. For real..I’m not trying to be a spoilsport but isn’t it a little bit too early for Oyin to be showing interest in another relationship? Wat she needs now is just some time 2 heal n possibly a few booty calls here n there 2 kip body n soul…not another whirlpool romance…Haba!!

  34. Lost almost 2hrs of sleep running thru all the episodes, hope u’ll find some way to alert us once d next episode is out! Cheers bro! Ur piece is a work of art, i look forward to ur novel. Ciao

  35. Tunde you are talented! I am not one to read fiction but you have got me hooked!
    You can guarantee I will buy every book you write!
    Well done! And THANK YOU

  36. Girl,this is so sweet. There’s always light at the end of the tunnel.
    Maybe this is true love knocking on your door. Let’s wait and see.

  37. I actually know people like this in real life. bouncing from one disaster to another. absolutely no sense of shame..

    • Hahahaha! Ur r so evil! Give a sis a break! But seriously, some chicks just don’t know how to be on their own! It’s like they need a brother at every point in time for self Esteem or somin! Take some time off and reposition ur self, but no, they wd rather dive for the sea bed!

  38. Again, Your grammar and writing skills in some areas are very poor. Get someone to proof read your work before you make it public.
    That being said, well done and even when people criticise your work or reject it. Keep trying again and again. Henry Ford was rejected 1007 times and now it’s a billion dollar organisation.

    • Hmmm. This is a really interesting piece. I have never really being hooked to stuff like dis. Buh I must confess that this is a good one. However, it wud av being perfect if we did not know that it was all fiction and the writer is a guy even. But wateva sha, its a splendid piece. My head is twirling wiv diff imaginations of who dis mr. Poet is. Guess I’l just have to wait till next monday. Pls let’s know when ur book is ready. Thumbs up

    • Aunty Critic, welldone ma. You have d atrocious audacity to say one’s writing skills are VERY POOR?!!? Let’s take a look at d beginning of your statement: ” Again, Your grammar”…. ” 1007 times “. D point am tryin to make is no one is perfect especially wen they are ‘critiqueing’ someone else’s work.
      Bottom line: write ya own make we critique am zjoin. Tunde, ur a bad ass writer. Ur ability to bring to life vividly a completely fictional character is totally amazing. Twale Baba.
      Ps: u even think like a gal. Scary ish!!!

    • Someone to proof-read his work like Ɣõu, rite? My ϑεąr, its very easy to be a critic, much easier than writing an interesting blog with wide readership like this one. Do us all a favour and give us a list of ur published literary work, together with all ur literary/writing awards ok? If the blog isn’t up to ur ‘high’ standard, then leave so dat we can keep enjoying ourselves. Silly critic!

  39. Errrrmmmm……. Oyin!!!!!! Dats all I have to say! I give it to u gurl!, u draw goodies like a magnet! Lol…both good and bad though… Seriousli can’t wait for d next episode…

  40. Lyk criously……it tink dos gifts are frm ossy n glo probably to ask for forgiveness……..or beta stil kalu

  41. so full of suspense buh am loving every bit of it..I hope men like mr poet still exist..Oyin enjoy while it last!!!LMTAO..weldone TL..more ororo rub ur elbow..

  42. Its Ossy jor! He still wants u. Hmmmm I hope he aint the one sha. A single guy dat aint gay will do just fine.

    Wow so I ve to wait till monday b4 readin another episode. Dis is critical.

  43. Hmmmmmmmnnnnn,I can’t wait 4 d next episode,this is thrilln,Oyin u don hammer oooooo but u need to take it easy,then do u av to always involve ur fwends,common start thinkn 4 urself

  44. Haaaaaahhhhhhh! I practically screamed at the crazy suspense after this episode. I missed your stories for two months so I enjoyed the fact that I had a lot of backlog to catch up with. My gosh! You are good. God must have taken extra time to work on ur brains and hands…when I grow up I would love to be like you…lols. Whatever you do dnt stop writing, you make my week interesting. Thanks for sharing.

  45. Oyin God has givn u a well packaged gift…nd I’m soo glad u ar makn good use of it… I’m really thrilled by the suspense nd good sense of creativity in d story… Keep up d great work!

  46. Oooooooohhhhhhh!!! Does it have to end here? I don’t like this suspense. Pls What happened after all these ” Piece” thing? All the same I thank God for Ossy and Gloria, Oyin would have been living in bondage.

    • Pls monday come ın a blınk, desperately waıtıng 4 d next epısode so we see d secret admırer! Hell no, shldnt b a gurl o!!!!.

  47. im soooo loving this episodes…awhhhhh this new dude is sooo romantic……i just hope hes nt a she….yepa!!!!!! dat woulkd be bad…..Leye nice write upp……im sure its a collabor with your sis cos its too good to be true that a guy would write this……………

  48. Hmmm,dis sounds interesting. I just wish dis one will not be another monster.abeg babes,enjoy it while it lasts.

  49. Okay. I dnt like dis kind of things o. Can’t fate even pity d girl ni? Y play with her like dis? Dis had beta not be anoda idiat! Mtchewwww!!! *rollin my eyes*

  50. I love dis… Its indid a masterpiece. Kudos. 2 tundeleye. Ʊ̍̍̍̍̊ v got a wide A̶̲̥̅̊₪d̶̲̥̅̊ interesting imaginations working 4 Ʊ̍̍̍̍̊.

  51. Ɣ☺ΰ have a good idea… and believe ♍ε̲̣̣̣̥ dis ΐƨ what some girls are passing thru in looking fO̶̷̩̥̊͡Я a perfect man…but Oyin Cleggs someone ΐƨ supporting Ɣ☺ΰ in getting all these facts

  52. Oyin Clegg, “Love Juju Tinz”. C’mon on. It’s called Jazz. Abi u didn’t watch the movie ‘Keeping Faith’ ni?

  53. Pingback: Finding Hubby – All The Episodes | tlsplace

  54. Pingback: FINDING HUBBY BY TUNDE LEYE EPISODE 14 (REBLOG) | Titithedynamite.

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