Finding Hubby – Episode 13 – Birthday Edition

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Yes, I decided to marry Yomi. After all, people knowingly marry people who decided to be drug pushers, thieving politicians and all the kinds of thieves and bad men within that wide range of bad-man-ism, and even help them keep the secret. My reasoning (which I came to conclusion of without mumsy in my head) was that I’d just be marrying a man who had made a choice to be something and help him cover up. Omerta. Really no different ba?

Once the decision had been made, everything went into full swing hyper crazy extra super drive and you can guess who the driver of all that was. We had four grades of Aso Ebi, and the cheapest was twenty five thousand. This was the bigz people’s wedding, and you can go and dye your hair green if you couldn’t afford our aso ebi. The most expensive one was one mint green and burnt orange Swiss Voile lace like that. It cost five hundred thousand.

Since I knew what was up, I decided to spend Yomi’s money wella, with two hands, on this wedding. I changed my gown to a Mai Atafo gown, all chosen specially and hand fitted by the bobo himself. My coral bead choker alone for the engagement cost a million Naira. And he didn’t hesitate to spend. He pulled all the stops, signed the cheques and went to town. His mum commented that she had never seen him that happy, ever. Of course no one else knew why he was that happy, everyone thought I was the source of his joy. Toke was of course my chief bridesmaid and Adamu was playing that role for Yomi. I tend to imagine him in my head as a bridesmaid and not the bestman. And I noticed Toke kept him at an arm’s length after what she knew. I chose not to be bothered.

The engagement was a blast. I remember the cows. They turned into a mini tourist attraction, so big that people were taking pictures with the cows and using them as DPs all over. They spawned all sorts of funny broadcasts; you know the kind that goes on for months until they’re no longer funny. Every major blog had photographers at the event. My official photographer was the hottest new one in town, the rave of the moment, Ogheneworo Akara.

The alaga was Madam Kofo herself. She keyed into the mood the families were, the spending mode, and made herself tons of money, milking Yomi and friends wella. Imagine, at some point, she even said that I was coming in a plane and that they had to drop fuel money and they know plane fuel is costlier than car fuel. So they dropped plenty money. Then when I was halfway out, she said the fuel finished and the plane was crashing. They had to drop even more money to save it from crashing and refueling the “plane” midair.  

I can give you all the juicy details but let me move forward, en. So the engagement was done and we went to our hotels. Everything was going smoothly with the event, and in a perfect world, I had just had the perfect engagement. But that night, I had to numb the fears I was having with generous doses of alcohol in order to sleep and go through with the next day.

Wedding day came and Toke woke me up as early as 5am. The entourage came into the room right after her and so began my roller coaster preparation to transform me from the mortal called Oyin to a goddess simply known as Bride. The whole operation took three hours of intensive work from the combined team of makeup lady, tailor and hair stylist. The small ringlets under my eyes from last night’s alcohol bout were gone.

As my uncle walked me down the aisle, I decided to immerse myself in the wedding, enjoy the moment and not think of the marriage after (I believe a good number of women do this). Wedding was going smoothly and my heart was at its gymnastic best, I was really going through with it. I was going to be Mrs. Oyin Kester-Jacobs.

The preacher asked the customary “Is there anyone here who has any reason why this couple may not be joined together? Speak now or forever hold your peace”, in a jocular manner. He was about to move to the next bit when a strong voice came from the back of the church auditorium “I do. These two should not be joined”. A hush ran over the congregation and all eyes turned in the direction from which the voice had come. Yomi spun around, a crazed look on his face as he saw who it was. I didn’t need to turn. I knew that voice as well as if I had looked at his face. It was a voice I knew too well. It was Ossy.

Haltingly, the pastor asked him what his reasons were.

“I will not allow my friend to go into this sham.” As he spoke, Yomi’s security details began to move towards him. But he was prepared. As they got to him, and were shutting him up, Gloria stood up as if they had rehearsed the scene and picked up where her husband stopped “Yomi is gay, and the marriage is just arrangy, a sham. I will not stand by and let Oyin make this mistake”. Everyone turned and stared at us, as if waiting for Yomi to say how silly all this was so the wedding could continue. It was like live Jerry Springer show.

I got the shock of my life. Yomi spoke up angrily, facing his mum as if all his anger was directed at her “and what if I’m gay? I’m tired of living trapped in the closet. I am gay and from today on, I will be proud of it and live in the open. I’m tired of all this.” People just sat where they were, as if transfixed. Then he said scornfully, “you can all go home now, there’ll be no Mrs. Kester-Jacobs today”. It was then I turned around and screamed.

Today’s my birthday and as a special, I’ve put a real picture of myself here https://tlsplace.wordpress.com/2012/07/12/meet-oyin-clegg/

Enjoy

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91 thoughts on “Finding Hubby – Episode 13 – Birthday Edition

  1. yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee………………….. ossy ……………….. this is ………………. i don’t know what to say oh …….. ahhhhhh wickedness in high places chai ….. oh well onto the next one !!!! OMG …. oyin take heart your own will come to you….hmmmmmmm…….

    • Ossy is just an idiot. So he waited all this while and decided last minute to save his friend? some friend he is. So by shaming her publicly is the best way to go about it?

  2. I hope Ossy has a good explanation for this because he was in the know from the start and he decides to bring it up now because???

    Humph!

  3. well i dont know what to tink of ossy, wetin b him own na. wetin concern abgero with over load. oyin had made her choice, y poking into another man’s business. Oyin ur worst fear is in reality. so pick up ur pieces n start all over again.

  4. Loveee u to bits, u made my day. U r a guyyyyyyy #smileyface#, ur swag is tight.
    U must have lived wit a lot of girls heheheheheheh
    Happy birthday u, have a blast n God genuinely bless u.
    Back to story! Na wetin dey worry ossy n glo??
    Oyin, pele dear, can’t wait 4 episode 14

  5. TL…. Happy bday…. Glad u did this for us today… And  an happy abt the outcome. Ossy is a true friend….. Enjoy ur day TL

  6. Thank God, I have been praying for this. Oyin must not make such a silly, foolish, stingy and selfish decision

  7. I have enjoyed your story so far,though am really pitying oyin now!she wud get ova it I guess!by the way happy bday!LLnP

  8. Scream! Can a girl catch a break? Why this public humiliation!! I didn’t agree with the marriage but wow! Objecting like that and blowing up her spot like that? Come on! Great story. Thanks for the extra dose this week!

  9. AAaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!

    This Osssey is an idiot!..what is your bloody business..you had months to tell her and u decide to wait till the wedding day!!!..

    This man should be gunned down!….is Ossey not married?..I think he is just payin Oyin back for dumping him…wicked soul!..

    Anyway..I hope Oyin has saved up some money sha!..cause she will need a lawyer!..and savings to carry her thru the rest of her lonely life!….

    • Na wa 4 Ossy o,wetin b hin own sef,@least e don marry Gloria,chai,didnt c dis comin @ll,HBD 2 our writer,LLNP

  10. this birthday boy wont kill us ooo…..after all the 500k asoebi them, kai Ossy you did not try at all….. Happy birthday Tunde leye……great writer u are, was expecting to see some hot lady u know with all those your definition of Oyin, keep it up man. cant wait for GOLDEN SANDS, keep us posted o…

  11. Ossy and Gloria are crazy…. Why didn’t Ossy do dt b4 he ran off 2 marry Gloria and now he’s probably too jealous of his friend’s fame and success dt he decided 2 ruin evryfin. D bouncers shld ve looked out 4 em earlier even b4 dey entered d church. #Hian!

  12. Ehhehhehehhehehehehhehe Ossy ooooo! ……Dis jus means d wedding was neva suppose to take place!Doomed frm heaven.so whether or not they tried keeping it secret,d truth will jus pop out somehw

  13. Ehhehhehehhehehehehhehe Ossy ooooo! ……Dis jus means d wedding was neva suppose to take place!Doomed frm heaven.so whether or not they tried keeping it secret,d truth will jus pop out somehw.Thank U Tunde n Happy birthday.love d way u write.looking forward to ur new book…av fun

  14. Tunde Leye, Tunde Leye…… I dunno if she delievered my message but I told her to you that you a good writer. Thumbs up!!!!!
    I hope to see more from you soon.

    Comments on the story: Ossy proves that he is a true friend indeed.

  15. Plus ossy, plus oyin o, Gloria o, yomi o, Adamu o, yomi mama, oyin mama and the writer set, I just tire.
    All of wan2 gimme high BP abi, Jo ooooooooooo

  16. Chimoooo!!! See conspiracy oooooo! I fink oyin arranged wif ossy jawe!! Dats her ticket out of this mess!!!! Smart move oyin! Pay back d b***h!! TL nyc 1!! D search continues….

  17. #inshock!!!! Had Ossy been asleep all this while?! Y now? Poor Oyin!!! Well at least, this made her look like d victim…

    • 😳😳 waoh! This is humiliation of the highest order !! Oyin !! Waoh!!! This is still shocking . Tunde !! Happy birthday . Wishing u fulfilled one and thanks for this surprising episode 😘. Must confess u are indeed cute !

  18. Wow !! Am S̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ hapi,,ds is actually d Lords doing *oyin dear*,ds is d best God can offer U̶̲̥̅̊ ,he used ossy Α̲̅Ω̴̩̩̩̥d̶̲̥̅̊ gloria †̥ say †̥ U̶̲̥̅̊ ,tis not worth U̶̲̥̅̊ going thru ds,nd dat delay is not denial,dat he has a beta plan 4 U̶̲̥̅̊ ,jes kip U̶̲̥̅̊я hope alive……. Α̲̅Ω̴̩̩̩̥d̶̲̥̅̊ as for yomi,nd his mum,tis gud hes secret is out,tis as gud as not livn a life dan being a gay,†̥ me gay biz is* zero*, now she has †̥ be extra prayaful,S̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ as †̥ change him totally.

  19. aaahhhh!!!!!! Ossy !!!!! So u got your meaty pound of flesh back …….hmmmm!!! Maybe it’s a bad dream or something …..Jesu !

  20. I love dis story tunde happy buffday long life in Prosperity hope 2 read more of ya novels ossy is a true friend

  21. Chineke!!!! I can’t stop screaming oh!!! Ahhh!! Ossy who sent u message now..u culdnt tell her b4?! Why now..dis is just too embarrassing! Oyin take heart o! Choi!

  22. Happy Birthday Tunde. God bless u. You are indeed a fantastic writer……. I always look foward2 the next episode. Keep it up

  23. Ossy is a mean fuck-faced annoyin irritant!! Why d hell did he wait till their wedding? Gloria shld ve just looked oyin in d eye n shot her, wat d fuck took them so long? They just wanted 2 humilate poor oyin.
    Oyin, so sorry, now people will knw u were so desperate that u agreed 2 marry someone who’s gay. How come ur hawt pastor didn’t stop dis madness? I feel 4 oyin….. Poor unfortunate soul *in ursula’s voice (little mermaid)

  24. No now! This is crazy! >:o what sort of a drama queen is this Ossy? When I was saying this Ossy is wicked, y’all were saying he was d perfect husband! So the day he finally remembers to confide in her is………5 months later? On her wedding day? What da flip! Even Glo! She was never a friend! So he told her before this day and she never made prior effort to reach her! Looks like their plan was to publicly deal with her as opposed to saving her! Lord protect me from my friends, I can handle my enemies!
    For all those that had her perfect marriage planned as said it wasn’t a bid deal her marrying him, I guess u did not fathom this right? So how would u advice she carries out the damage control now? Something that she wd have prevented by continuing on her finding hubby trips since episode 10, she decided to go on a long journey to the same bustop! If she still goes out in public after today ehn……but she wd!
    As for the faggot, nice entree! Enjoy ur new season! I hope the 14yr punitive measure had been out in ds oyin clegg era? TL, make my day and tell me he wd be arrested!
    I swear, nothing could have made me think of this, just the usual knowing somin may happen to make her keep finding hubby.

  25. Whew!!!! Now that’s a real SCANDAL!!! Omg! Feel so sorry for Oyin….I’m glad it happened to her now than later though. She should start all over again….best of luck finding the right hubby. *hugs*

  26. Woooow! Thumbs up@tundeleye pls keep us posted on your book launch .I’ll sure be the first to get a copy

  27. ђã†‎’s Ossy’s business in what ever decision Oyin takes afterall he already has Gloria to himself.abbegie let d bouncers bundle him out jare.

  28. Awesome…..strtd today n finishd,culdnt stop screamin….sent b.cs all ova….I fil u r anoda chimamanda adiche,ur writin is awesome…..ossy is a gud frnd n yomi got wat he desrvd……I love u tunde leye…..u made my satrday great….cnt wait 4 ur books….kip it up.

  29. I got d link 2day 4rum d latest edition,read dat,started all over nd m perplexed n amazed @ d sense of ur writeup ts amazingly-awesome so captivating nd confusing brilliant I admire ur talent.meanwhile ossy s a true friend nd I strongly believe God intervened 4 oyin ts better settled dan l8r.time would heal d big wound just time nd patience n d lord

  30. Very brilliant fiction here! Anytime I get the link, I first let out a good laugh before opening it. Infact I call my friend oyin clegg. More grease to your elbow dear. I pray thee long ling life in joy, good health, & prosperity in Jesus name. Happy Birthday

  31. This has to be a dream Ooº°˚ ˚°ºoo else it aint gonna end funny. Cos oyin actually loves dis guy the only prob is that he is gay n she agreed to marry him even knowin dat so bros Ossy should go n pack well. I was expectin yomi to deny sha.

  32. You sure know how to put one in suspense, I didn’t expect this. Its ok jo, since Oyin could not save herself from a marriage of sorrow, at least she has brave people around to save. I’m glad d wedding was not successful. More grease to ur elbows, you are a very good writer.

  33. well she should consider herself saved! lol thank youOssy… to me sha Ossy still loves. now question.. why didnt her dad walk her down the aisle. i am sure he introduced her dad in a couple or blogs or so ago!

  34. I guess ossy waited dis long kuz he kudnt just understand d kind of person oyin was….like m sure he was too sure he wasn’t gonna object but its nevr too late to do the right thing… In d end he did it… Mayb at d wrong time iono but onto d next.. “Oyin in vain sef mschew# greed.. U have all d money but its not enuf u also want status…..mschew at d expense of your dignity… This is just a story lol I bettr calm down

  35. Eh! abegi…
    who wants ore oshi?

    Ossy ko! Ossy ni!
    The guy is just full of himself. still a sorry case if u ask me. so he waited 5mths to tell her that he is gay. and at her wedding too. mumu of the highest order….

  36. Pingback: Finding Hubby – All The Episodes | tlsplace

  37. Pingback: FINDING HUBBY BY TUNDE LEYE EPISODE 13 (REBLOG) | Titithedynamite.

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