Finding Hubby – Episode 6


I could not even drink myself to sleep that night. No alcohol could numb my pain and I spent a large part of the night re-enacting the night in my head and adding all sorts of evil things I should have done to Femi as he left. I couldn’t pull myself together to go to work the next day and quickly sent an sms to my boss to allow me take the day off. I stumbled around my house in just my underwear, picking things up, arranging things. I had Adele’s 21 album on repeat. Talk about setting the mood. Men, Femi hit me way way way below the belt. I had mumutized big time.

It was 8:30am when my phone rang. I didn’t bother to pick the phone, I didn’t want to talk to anyone that day. The phone rang a few more times, and I let it ring out. Then my other phone rang, and I knew it had to be someone real close, since few people had that number. I stumble-walked into the room from where I stood in the parlor and checked the caller id. It was Ossy. I picked the call and put the phone on speaker as I flopped onto the bed.

Ossy:     Hey babes

Me:       Hi

Ossy:     Dropped into your office and was told you called in sick. What’s the ish dear

Me:       Yeah

Ossy:     An an! Which one is this monosyllabic mode you are giving me now?

Me:       Sorry

Ossy:     Anyways, open your door, I’m here

Me:       Where?

As an answer, my doorbell rang. I heard it both from outside and through my phone.

Me:       What! (Shriek) You’re at the door. Ossyyyyyyyyy

Okay, lemme tell you about Ossy before you begin to wonder if all my travails have finally left me delusional and I’ve started taking phone calls from an imaginary person. Ossy works in my office. He’s an oga, so Oil and Gas money plenty, dashing dark dude, witty, intelligent and goes out of his way to make me happy. And men, when I say goes out of his way, I mean he wows me steady. Ossy doesn’t hide that he’s crazy about me, and wants me to be his woman.

I’m sure by now you are wondering if I am crazy. Here I am, going through hell and high waters to find a husband, and I have Ossy dying to make me his wife. But I guess that’s the irony of life. Ossy being so available makes him just not desired like that and his sweetness sometimes comes off as desperately dramatic. So he provides the shoulder that I cry on whenever my heart is broken (which is better than having Toke tell me “I told you so” in every gesture), the ears that listen to my tales of woe, and the balm that soothes and heals me. Every time, he hopes; and every time so far, I have run out on him once healed. I know I’m gonna get possessive if he ever wants to marry another girl sha. By the way, Ossy is short for Ositalogbon Onisokame. Each time I consider him, somehow, the thought of going from Oyin Clegg to Oyin Onisokame sort of does a Hulk Smash! And beats all such thoughts to death.

Anyway, back to today. So I put on a boubou and headed for the door. When I opened the door, Ossy’s wide smile greeted me and I couldn’t help but give him a tired smile. “Seems you’ve gone down one cup size”, he said, grinning mischievously. I laughed for the first time since yesterday night. Ossy’s way of telling me I’ve lost weight is to point out that my boobs have become smaller. Nonsense shudren.

“I would say you look like a hot mess, but then you know that already.” He stepped in and gave inglorious me a big hug and I felt safe in his arms.

“First to make sure you add flesh.” He went into my kitchen and began to rummage through my fridge. In minutes, a beautiful aroma began coming out of my kitchen. Ossy came out and changed the music. “No sad women singing about broken hearts for company, only dashing young men”. He slotted in Tu Baba’s Unstoppable album and did some silly dance moves. A few minutes past 9, a sumptuous breakfast of bread and eggs and sausages was ready with steaming coffee. He served me on the couch and I began to break the bread at the edges. As I ate and the heat of the coffee warmed my hands, I began to pour out my woes to Ossy. He listened to me patiently and kept me eating as I spoke.

“Ossy, you want to get me fat and unattractive so no man else will like me abi?” I asked laughing. “Anything to achieve my aims,” he retorted, a sheepish smile on his face too. Somewhere, something tugged at my mind and kept asking me why dependability was within reach and I kept looking for the super duper flyest hubby around. Toke had once asked me if I wasn’t being followed from wherever I am from. Sometimes I wonder so too myself.

The shrill sound of Ossy’s alarm broke into our world and he quickly checked the phone. “Gotta go, appointment at DPR”. My mood took an instant nosedive.

He kissed my forehead and adjusted his tuck-in. Reluctantly, I stood up to go and let him out and waited at the door to hear the sound of his car leave and then dragged my feet to the couch. My house felt empty without now that I was alone. BBs are saviors at times like these. Going through updated status messages (and everyone does that jor) is an easy way to while away such time. I picked my BB up and noticed it was blinking. I had ignored it all morning, so I guessed I had tons of pending messages.

All the usual suspects had sent me messages. My mum. My girls. Kalu (RME) and hawt (as one of the commentators on the blog corrected me) Pastor. Most recent of my chats was one from Ossy. I quickly opened the chat to see what he was saying. I had two pending voice notes from him. I played the first and his voice came through.

“Hey dear. Go to your kitchen and look under your microwave. Do not open the second VN until you do”. He chuckled at the end of the message and I was so totally tempted to open the second one but decided to play along. I ran into the kitchen and lifted the microwave up. My eyes widened when I saw what was there. A return ticket to Dubai and a 5 day holiday package. I quickly listened to the second VN. Ossy’s voice sounded like sweetness now “I think you need that break you’ve been talking about dear. I’m handling your leave already so you don’t need to bother to come to the office. Enjoy your trip. And call me when you get there o. Ciao”.

I stood dumbfounded. How could someone be so sweet? If it was 99% of the men I knew, for such a gesture, they would expect plenty payment in kind. I dialed Ossy’s number but he cut the call and I guessed he was in his meeting already. I checked the flight details. I had only 3hrs to get to the airport. I hummed a tune as I packed up, wondering where in the heavens men like Ossy were made. Maybe I’d give him a chance when I got back from this trip.


100 thoughts on “Finding Hubby – Episode 6

  1. Waoo,sweet sweet sweet,girls sha,†ђξ guys that are in love we us are so close yet we chase those that are very far from us,oyin clegg,hear †ђξ voice of nature,forget that ibo name ohh,u can be oyin ossy,lol

  2. Bia tuneday! U berra drag oyin back here to complete her story o, wat’s d meaning of all dis suspense sef..?? Take okada and meet up with her, she’s probably still stuck in ikorodu road traffic now on her way to the airport 8-|

  3. Oyin, no b u? i can bet my derrière u’re gonna hook up with some “hunk” in dubai and forget all about Ossy, and den cry ur eyes out when Ossy does a “Femi” on you………

  4. Abeg abeg TL wetin now why are you
    pinching the stories to us i go log off oooooo atleast give us like twice in a week instead of this monday monday tonic…………..u dey fall my hand oooo

  5. babes enjoy urself no lies but remember oooo no use hubby wey u don dey search for since all dis while do boyfriend and boyfriend do hubby d end na serious gbege ooooooo nobody go dey around to comfort you eeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhnnnn ooooooo

  6. Oyin!! I think its true, they r following u frm ur village!! U av a dude like Ossy, ₰ u r asking if to give him a chance!! U sure av gon loko!! U dnt wanna knw aw Ossy feels wen he thinks of u not bin there! Something tells me soon enough, Ossy would be stolen frm under ur nose if u r not careful!!! Lovely piece again, now u got mw addicted ₰ watering for d next ep!! Fenx!

  7. So sweet, but it baffles me oooo, we ladies chase after the ones dat just want to use us and dump but the ones dat truly love us, we chase away. Oyin, abeg, no use husband material do boyfriend ooo. Enjoy ur trip though and use this time out to map out a plan for urslf.

  8. HaAa Oyin don’t make Ossy do wat Femi did τ̲̅ȍ Ў☺ΰ‎​ oooo wise up and ßε̲̣̣̣̥ Mrs Oyin Ossy .

  9. Am loving the story more and more, suspence, intrigue and use of flash back. TL I wna be like you.*big smile*

  10. Nice one, expressive and reflective words to convey the mood. I like the story, will definitely read previous episodes as I wil eagerly wait for the next one. Do enjoy your Dubai and come back decided okay?

  11. Oyins baby,better open ur eyes n heart wide cos Ossy may just be ‘it’ for u. A lot of times we ladies often look away from those who matter n wuld rather chase shadows. @TL,nice write up bro, thumbs up!

  12. 1st, its not all boyfriends that are hubands n not all husbands are boyfriends, 60% of ‘searching ladies”, like me have an ossy in our lives, n dey av their comma- no job like urs/ no master degree like u/momma drama, etc

    na God go save us oo,

    agree with olayinka, dis monday-monday fingy no dey pay ooo haba, abeg TL twice a week na

  13. ha!! oyin u berra wise up n be wit the guy that loves u, all this super duper fly guys dat dont send you will be be carrying “koikoi” around. anyways i cant wait to know what happens next monday!!

  14. @ a friends’ bridal shower d other day, my friend was asked,’was it love at first sight when you met ur man?’ and she says………….and u betta listen to dis carefully Oyin, ‘when a woman is 20, she looks for tall, dark and handsome dude, early 20, she looks for love, from the other side of 20 to age 30, she looks for a mature man who would love and respect her’. If that is in place, the love surely grows…………Oyin, u betta behave urself and give Ossy a chance. From what i know about u, he is what u need……..can’t wait till next week mehnnnnnn, wish i knew Oyin….

  15. Wow, Ossy is so sweet, are you there won’t be any bitter lining in the story as it just began. I can’t wait to dive at Finding Hubby Episode 7. Keep it up, I’m enjoying it.

  16. Oyin!!!! Are u for real or for ‘make-up’ story??? Una dey confuze me mehn! If u are for real, u need counselling and maybe a round of deliverance. See me in camera for references to both, I stay close to u…ever heard of ladies that got to menopause at 30???!!! I know of one!

  17. If ossy were real,I’d tell you 2 pass him down 2 me and I’ll change his name 2 osbourne. Ossy seems too good 2 be true though. Just so, if he’s dat sweet , girl u need 2 get ur brain checked. U think u’re in ur twenties, oyin wake up and smell d coffee, u’re 35, grab dis one or u might just be celebrating 40 still single

  18. really cool..makes for an entertaining read! I finishe all 6 episodes @ once, couldn’t stop once I started. I like! 🙂

  19. @Oyin dearie, biko accept Ossy’s (Ositadinma) proposal osiso (sharply)…dont wait until he finds himself someone more deserving. Ladies always fall for the bad guys and take the good/great guys for granted, always.

  20. babe, u berra wise up & grab ossy b4 he get attracted to anoda nice cool headed gal. I can’t wait for the next episode.

  21. †ђe guy is too sweet! Haaa! Sweet is a lame word τ̲̅ȍ describe him sef! Babe, u dey jons o! Berra do sharply grab dis guy! Mehn!!! No just fall my hand for next episode o, I go use cane change ur name to Oyin Mumutizington!

  22. @kuze I totali agree wt! I cn rel8 2 oyin’s wahala wt Ossy,e mks it 2 izi,as crazy as it sounds girls lyk a littl brush off,dts y dy sy girls dig bad dudes,tho tz bad 4 us.
    Ps: cd we mk ds blog a 2c a wk tngy..pretty pls?! *puppy eyes*

  23. @kuze I totali agree wt u..ℓoℓ! I cn rel8 2 oyin’s wahala wt Ossy,e mks it 2 izi,as crazy as it sounds girls lyk a littl brush off,dts y dy sy girls dig bad dudes,tho we kno tz bad 4 us.*shrugs*
    Ps: cd we mk ds blog a 2c a wk tngy..pretty pls?! *puppy eyes*

  24. Ok see bah. U’r a very annoying geh. An ode geh in fact. Why will i haf to wait till next monday to find out wot happened next. Abi we shu start bribing u for proir hints ni. Plus u better marry ossy quick before he finds anoda fine geh on one of his trips. Thumbs up nyways. Your write ups r the best i’ve read so far.

  25. Nice 1 ,wants more.wenevaa i read dis is like my best pal is talking to him,nd i want to screem @ her back to advice her.lovely write up.

  26. Oyin na wah f̶̲̥̅̊ọ̥я̲̣̥ U̶̲̥̅̊ . Anyways, I reserved ♏¥ comment f̶̲̥̅̊ọ̥я̲̣̥ U̶̲̥̅̊ .cuz if I decided ƭő talk №ω U̶̲̥̅̊ may get upset.Honestly I didnt pity U̶̲̥̅̊ @all dis time around. ρ̩̩̩l̶̲̥̅̊ƨ̣̣̣̇̇̇̇ follow U̶̲̥̅̊я heart. ‘Thief’

  27. I can sooo relare with Oyin’s jist. Can’t wait to find out d end-jist of Ossy. He’s soo perfect to d naked eyes but for al u know, he may just b consistent wit his attempts to win his best with his friends- if gets dis hot babes. #justthinking#
    But God help us babes wit how we toy wit the “i-go-die-put” guys and trip for d bad onez.

  28. he may just b consistent wit his attempts to win his bet with his friends- if gets dis hot babes. #justthinkin#

  29. Oyin, I kinda agree with your friend on this…I think they are following you from your hometown! This Ossy guy sounds amazing….what most women’s dreams are made of. You’re not ready yet.

  30. good read it up. oyin clegg is completely confused and I think they r seriously following her from grandmothers

  31. Dubai visa takes a minimum of 24hrs-48hrs to process, ur Passport gets stamped @ the point of entry with a temporary visa print out..Ossy must be a superman to have processed urs while on ur way to the airport.(That morning with 3hrs left to catch ur flight .and how did Ossy gt hold of your Passport bio data page to process ur visa dat same morning.or is it dat u have a valid Dubai 2 years(and not 2wks which is d maximum they usualy give) visa abi u get indifinate Dubai stay! laff in my dialect. babes  love to read ur blog…u write well…..but .laffing @ d loopholes.u shld have said Jand or Yankee ticket(sounds more like it, cos u. can have still have a 2yrs or 5yrs valid visa.)

    • @Lolo: Ossy works in her office now, and as an oil & gas coy am sure everyone’s passport data page is available, especially to the ‘ogas’ like Ossy. And its prolly just a few days ‘rest’ she is going for

  32. I have only just stumbled across your blog TODAY and I’m already hooked. Got the pleasure of reading all 6 episodes at once without the suspence other readers got, but now I’ve read episode 6 and I want MORE!!!

  33. Oyin no allow me yab you oooh,yeye geh!! What’s wrong with you? Is he married And ure not telling us? Don’t get all salty tomrw when he finally gets a girl oooh.if u no want abeg pass am to me,and beside his name is not bad,u can change it to oyin onos.

  34. bestest episode so far was 5! crazy unbelievable. but this episode 6 …sweet! mumufied made up for to the zillionth power. ol’girl, shine ur eye 4 hawt osi – else na true say den send 2 u from villa walai:-)

  35. Read all @ once. It was thrilling, no suspense but now, I want more. All I can say is that Oyin doesnt know what she want.. And she deserves everything that TOSH did to her.. Now she is packing her bags to Dubai.. She must really love the good life. I hate women like that.. Always want sugary life….

  36. Aww! There goes one of the inhabitants of the friend zone! Sweet friend tho! Wen u can be a good friend, be just that! And he was……

  37. I don’t get the hating tho! What’s with the insults? IMO, if u can’t relate with the writer, then u probably can’t see the picture she is painting, so u shouldn’t even be reading…..but no, u can’t ignore a good read! I know

  38. Are u crazy? U hv a man like dis and u’re usin urself as mop for men like femi? U no well. Beta grab him b4 sumone smarter does

  39. Looool……true,Oyin Ossy is more lik it joooor! But seriously,we ladies can be so uncontented sometimes!Meeehhnnnn!

  40. I seldom leave comments, however after browsing through a
    few of the remarks here Finding Hubby – Episode 6 tlsplace. I do have a couple of questions for you if it’s okay. Is it just me or does it look like a few of the responses look like they are left by brain dead individuals? 😛 And, if you are writing at additional online social sites, I’d like to follow you. Would you make a list of all of your social sites like your Facebook page, twitter feed, or linkedin profile?

  41. Awwwwww.Osy is a such sweet, sweet darlyn. Men reading this, take d cue.And may many Osys be in our society.Did i hear an amen?

  42. Pingback: Finding Hubby – All The Episodes | tlsplace

  43. Pingback: FINDING HUBBY BY TUNDE LEYE EPISODE 6 (REBLOG) | Titithedynamite.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s