Finding Hubby – Episode 4

I didn’t go anywhere on Saturday, the activities of the night before had worn me out. On depressing occasions like that, I get the inspiration to write poetry. Yes, Oyin is a poet. One of these days, if you guys ask me enough, I’ll read some of my poems to you. So the day dragged on until evening when my girls came over. Gloria and I reached a compromise. I did get a guy as hot as Kalu’s Koikoi, so I could claim the iPad. But the guy turned out to be a gigolo(ewww) so she could claim my shoes. So I wasn’t going to get the iPad, as long as she didn’t come within a one meter radius of my shoes (like that would happen in this lifetime and beyond). They basically did what they came for – Eat my food, drink my wine, scatter my house, talk about men, abuse men, long for men, and leave with my stuff. And oh yes, Gloria left with my shoes. See en, people that come to your house and do all the things I listed above are your true closest friends. I went to bed with my spirit considerably lifted when my friends had left. The alcohol of course helped a little. Okay, more than a little, wink wink.

I went to bed after watching some episodes of Spartacus Blood and Sand. I don’t know why, but I have a thing for that series. One of my favorite Naija songs right now even references it “Jide Kosoko, shay o le fi shay Spartacus, Jor ooo

o”, lmao.

I woke up on Sunday morning with a sense of expectation. I always feel really close to God on Sundays and I excitedly went about getting prepared for church. Light breakfast of toast and tea. Then it was time to get dressed for church. Now you might say I’m vain, but if you go to my church, you had better reeeeaaallly get dressed for church. The hottest, the latest, the sharpest, the cream de la cream of my cream axis attended my church. And you never know if you’ll meet the one so as a scout, I had to be prepared. Anyways, where better to meet him than church. So I put on a Tiffany Amber dress and a pair of Prada shoes and Prada bag to match and completed the look with a scarf and sunshades. I decided to do the cloudy eyed eyeshadow I saw on the style network during the week and did the Angelina Jolie lipstick thingy. I took a look at my creation in the mirror and I said like the Lord, it is good, alleluia.

Church service was going well and I was in the spirit, while surveying the pews for any particularly husbandable man (a good hunter is always alert). Then the senior pastor of our church (who I wouldn’t have minded marrying, he’s much too much) came up to welcome first timers. Time for the handshakes and plastic church smiles to come out. “I want to specially recognize a dear friend of my family,” Hot Pastor was saying. “He is a multiple award winning and bestselling author, and his last book, The Epic, is currently being adapted into a movie in Hollywood. Please join me in welcoming my brother from another mother, Femi Tosh.” I scrambled to look in the direction where Hot Pastor’s friend was standing up from. And then I saw him. Tosh was just the short form for Omotosho. Femi Omotosho. Oh my God. My heart did multiple flips upon seeing him, but I was not seated close enough to him to give him a handshake or smile.

Before you start thinking I’m some desperado who wants to donate smiles and handshake and flipping hearts to every man that is a visitor in my church, let me give you a short history on Femi Omotosho. Fresh from my Masters in my mid twenties, I met him. Femi was every lady’s dream, suave dresser, smooth talker and held down a bank job. But that was before you started dating him o. You discovered then that he was from a poor background, all his money went into supporting his family and pursuing his dreams. Nothing for you to even be a babe. It was a hard pill for me to swallow but I tried to stick with Femi. Back then, I didn’t have the high paying job I have now, so I depended on Femi, but as he was so focused on family and dreams, he couldn’t give me the trips around the world, and all the nice things a fine girl like me required. So I left him. Okay, let me be truthful, I threw tantrums, said all sorts of cruel things to him and about him and then left him. Barely a year after I left him, his first book won the NLNG award and he got two hundred thousand dollars. The rest is history, he left the country, won more awards, and became a part of my past I regretted and forgot. Now, having him in my church, looking so smashing, successful and every woman’s dream brought all the regrets I had been trying to bury to the surface. I did a quick scan of his left hand, no ring. So he wasn’t married. I had to find a way to meet him at the end of the service.

For the rest of the service, I heard nothing. My mind was in a far away place, imagining what could have been with him. I’d be travelling the world now, going for Hollywood events and probably nursing a little Femi now. The service seemed to last an eternity, it took so long to end. When it was announcement time and the deacon who liked the sound of his own voice over the sound system climbed the stage, I let out a few words I hoped no resident angels in our church heard. He droned for longer than he should until a not so hot pastor came to stand beside him. He got the cue and rounded off his droning. If eyes could kill en, the deacon would have fallen dead with the way I looked at him. All the while, my eyes never left where Femi was (yes, I can look at two places at the same time :D).

Service finally ended and I saw ushers leading Femi towards Hot Pastor’s office. By the time I got there, he had already gone into the office. I contemplated waiting for him to come out, but that would be too easy to see through. Femi has a way with words, and knowing him, he would make me look very silly right there (not like he didn’t have a right to sha). Thankfully, I was Hot Pastor’s personal convert so I had access to his office. I went through the mill of waiting faithful. The ushers who looked more like the bouncers I saw at Marquee on Friday night knew me and let me go in. I knocked on Hot Pastor’s door and his rich voice came from inside the room “Please come in”. I took a deep breath and muttered under my breath “here goes nothing” and then opened the big door.

He was seated facing the pastor, with his back towards the door so he didn’t see me come in. I was glad about that because I had the time to gather myself together. Hot Pastor got up and came round his desk to hug me “Miss Clegg,” he was saying “it’s been a while.” Femi’s eyes followed Hot Pastor around and then fell on me. He looked shocked “Oyin!” he exclaimed.

Hot Pastor looked from him to me and then back “you know each other?” “Very well,” Femi responded with meaning. You know what knowing a woman means in bible terms. My mind went back to when Femi knew me. I said with more calmness than I felt “Long time no see Femi, how have you been?” “Very well, thank you. And I don’t need to ask how you’ve been, my eyes tell me,” he responded. Hot Pastor clapped me on the back playfully, “small world”, he said “Femi is like a brother.” Either Hot Pastor was blind or he chose to ignore the tension that was in the room. He continued “I need to quickly address the deacons; I’ll leave you two to catch up on old times. I’m sure there’ll be loads to talk about while I’m gone”. He was leaving me alone with Femi. This was what I wanted, but a fear crept into my heart. What would Femi say to me when we were alone? I felt like running after Hot Pastor, as he shut the door behind him.


70 thoughts on “Finding Hubby – Episode 4

  1. Ahn ahn, OYIN!!! Its not fair ooo… So we have to wait another week… Anyways! Gud write-up am learning a few thingz too… Pls what church is that, so incase i get invited i can go for loan to look smashing! Lol


  2. Oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh……… OYIN CLEGG!!!! I hate ds break in transmission jo ah! Very interesting piece *wink wink*

  3. This is not fair, you can’t always take me to the peak and leave me dangling there. Every monday I can’t wait for next monday to come.

  4. I’m really feeling like Femi here, bin down that road… Thinking of lines that would come from Femi’s lips, dat I would av divurged if I was him too. Well, can’t wait for next week, I sure expect Femi to be more matured than Oyin expects…. Peeps!! Me hand is crossed for the shocker!! Catch ya!!

  5. And now oyin thinks she’s found her “MAGA”, once “MUGU”…Femi teach Oyin another lesson (after dumping Femi d dreamer,U can’t come running back 2 the bloke who made his dream come true)
    Silent Prayer: “God fall oyin’s hand big time, Let Femi have a Fiancé” pls pls pls 😀

    • Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Some how I agree o! But am pitying her lonly state,only if she is willing to marry him,and not his pocket or looks,if not wahala go continue.

  6. Just read all d episodes from beginning to ep4. Fantastic….keepin ma fingaz crossed.good job blad….

  7. WAOW! my imagination has been running wide for the past 30mins. i just included this to my list of weekly activities

    Desperate Housewives- SUN
    Finding Hubby MON
    Castle MON
    Glee – TUES
    Revenge – WED
    Modern Family WED
    Person of Interest THURS
    Greys Anatomy THUR
    The Vampire Diaries THURS

    Good one, spreading the news

  8. eeeeeekkkk *nail biting* .. nail biting……. can’t wait for a whole week
    loving this every minute!!!

  9. Church things….Nice…only wish i stumbled upon ‘Finding Hubby’ after episode 30 :D. that way, i won’t have to wait patiently for the next episode. Can’t wait.

    • Short story ke??? More like a 20season series!!! Love her writing style and how captivating the story line is!!! Makes u want more! 😀 all we need now is a madt ass director & producer to set d ball rolling! 😀

  10. Where are the other parts. Such wonderful writing. The seriousness in it was also mixed with sarcasm which makes it a joy to read

  11. WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!! Oyin you u have to promise to keep it coming every monday as usual. Dont break my heart by going on a blogger’s hiatus

  12. You are a master storyteller, i thought i was seeing a movie… Can’t wait to read the next episode. #thumbs up#

  13. Lemmy guess, he accepts her back just to teach her a lesson, right?! Dis ur monday, monday thing might av to b reviewed o! Haba #chants we want more! We want more! 😀

  14. Nice write up! Didn’t have tym to read till now. I saw myself in d story, on d pews, in d church office …. Among d guards sef! Heheheheheheee

  15. Wow! This account is humbling! U have mind o! What do u now want to say to him? I wish u wd just leave the room babe! I’m sure I wd find out in one minute that he’s married! 😦

  16. “I was in the spirit, while surveying the pews for any particularly husbandable man (a good hunter is always alert”
    *Dead! that was just tooo funny! but guess what? I do the same darn thing! LOL!

  17. Oyin,ive being going thru a terrible hartbreak for the past i week but thks to you…uve made me had one of the best laffs of my life….nd evryday i look forward to reading ur stories….its an interesting one nd definitely humorous….kip it up

  18. Generally I do not read article on blogs, however I would like to say that this write-up very compelled me to try and do it! Your writing style has been amazed me. Thanks, very nice article.

  19. Pingback: Finding Hubby – All The Episodes | tlsplace

  20. Pingback: FINDING HUBBY BY TUNDE LEYE EPISODE 4 (REBLOG) | Titithedynamite.

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