My name is Oyinkasola Olaitan Clegg. I am a lady. I am 35. I am single. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with me. But I have had to say this either verbally or otherwise to so many people in the course of the last few years that sometimes I begin to wonder if there’s really nothing wrong with me. Don’t get me wrong, they don’t come and tell me “you are not married Oyin, something must be wrong with you” no, they would never do that. But say it, they did, loud and clear.
Let me not bore you with those parts of my life. As a background, I am a good looking Yoruba girl, well shaped the way African men like their women, with flesh in the right places. I have a first degree from the University of Lagos and a Masters Degree from the University College, London. I am tush, fresh and a high flyer. I even have the dream job, a CSR person in an oil firm. And I like to live life to its fullest. These are the stories of my encounters, escapades and experiences as I search for the man who will leave his family and cleave to me. Who will love me forever. Who will make my life eternal bliss. Okay, okay, okay, I am doing it again. I tend to project the stories I read into life. Never mind, I am old enough to know that stories are just that, stories.
Its Friday night. And when you say that in Lagos social circles, it could only mean one thing; ditch the suits and let the short dresses, body hugging jeans and bust enhancing tops come forth. And so I called up my friends Toke and Gloria and we agreed to meet up at Mega Plaza to start the night with some chips and seafood. I shutdown at five O Clock and drove straight home to my apartment in Carlton Gate Estate in Lekki. Inside the house, I flopped into my couch and turned on my companion at home, my TV. Now pardon me, but I wonder how life must have been before the TV. If I was lost on an island and I could take only one item along, it had to be either my BB or my TV (see how we have a knack for reducing things to two letter words). As I settled in to rest in reserve for the long night ahead, my phone rang. I glanced at the screen to confirm who it was. It was just Kalu. I was hoping it would be somebody else. I had been ignoring bb messages from him all day and I guess he calculated I’d be off work now and decided to call.
Okay, a little background on him. I am 35 and single (I know I’ve said it before but I need to re-emphasize) so when I really need to get some and there’s no serious person around, I do the phone select. Here’s how it’s done. You pick your phone and scroll through your contacts list and eliminate men based on certain criteria. What you want is a no strings attached person who will not interpret a night together as an invitation to a long term relationship. So you cancel out the fervent toasters, the guys who have been having settling down conversations with you (considering you didn’t consider them settling down material and latch on all the while you’ve been having such conversations) and other such over-serious people. By now, you’ve narrowed the list down. Then you eliminate those who are in places so far it requires too much effort to see. I stay in Lekki, so if you stay in places like Ipaja, Ikorodu and the likes, I ex you from the list. Now I have a probable list. Then I go into the fineries of history together, attraction and settle on a few options. I then put a call through to the best option of the lot and drop a few hints. If he catches on, game on. If he doesn’t, I round the conversation off and move on to the next until I hit jackpot. This was the rigorous screening process I had put Kalu through, but we get wrong sometimes. I was very wrong with Kalu. After the night together (that’s a story for another day), he became all he wasn’t meant to be. Clingy, intrusive and needy.
Anyways, back to the present. I picked the call and the conversation went something like this
Kalu: Hey Princess
Me: Kalu, whatsup (I called him his name, he should get the message)
Kalu: You haven’t responded to my messages all day
Me: I’ve had a full day.
Kalu: But you read all the messages, it said R here. You could have sent a small message. Anyways, you said had, so your workday is over. Are you going out?
Me: (Warning bells, anything I say now will have Kalu trying to be a part of whatever plans) Yes. I’m home now. No I’m not going out, I have a wedding tomorrow and want to rest
Kalu: Okay, I’ll buy dinner and come over.
Me: (Alarm bells) Thanks for the offer Kalu, but the girls are using my pad for a Hen night for the bride to be.
Kalu: (sighs). Okay, I’ll see you after the wedding tomorrow.
Me: Call me before heading o.
Kalu: Goodnight love
Me: Ciao.
Whew. That was close. Quick thinking, quick lying saved the day. Now to rest and get ready for the night out.
At 9:45, I was ready to go out. I was hot, hot, hot. In fact, I was so hot, I was burnt and roasted, lol. I said the spinster’s prayer and stepped out of the house. I hooked up with my girls at Mega Plaza. If you haven’t tried the chips and sea food there, then you are a weist! We shared two plates and by then, it was eleven O clock. We touched up and smiled past the bouncers, very glad with the effect we saw our collective hotness was having (you notice babes look finer as a group than alone)
We took the elevator and then the small flight of stairs up into The Marquee. Lagos sha. People that were at work complaining of tiredness a few hours ago at work were here grooving away. As I was stepping in, someone bumped into me on his way out. I was about to give the person “bad eye” when our eyes met. I felt like entering the ground. It was Kalu.
Hhhmmmnn.. Intriguing can’t wait to find out where Oyin’s romantic shenanigans leads her!! Great job TL 🙂
Rotflmaoooooo..interesting!!!more more!!
Nice story,I love this episode,I can imagine †ђξ racing of †ђξ heart when oyin saw Kalu,ahahahahah,can’t wait for †ђξ next episode
Burnt n roasted indeed.. Lol nice piece
Oh my! Can’t wait to continue this…rly good writing! Kudos!
Please let’s not set too much rules….it could chase a good guy away. Poor Kanyinsola.
FUNMI! Waa Gbayi joor
Nice episode TL! Am already itching for the next one… Please release it on time o!
Nyc storyline ,lesson learnt say it as is! Loool!
I very captivating story by my friend, I wish him more years in this.
Oh I almost forgot, isi mgbaka is a song I can’t trade. Thumb up man.
LOL………..everygirl’s nightmare…caught @ it….LOL
Well, go gel! U rock, d lie was calculated, buh kalu must b a sneak and show spoiler! Haba, must he now show up @ nite again, ugh! So. .. ?
Tres interesting… Classic case of the hunter and the Bushmeat 😐
Ohhhhh so what happened next???????!!!!!!! hmmmm cant wait for the next episode. Hurry!!!!!!!
Whao! TL, when did we start this? Interesting blog…..
Keep the intrigues coming TL, but sofly dey make our hearts race ooo
Nice one TL
U don’t owe him any explanation after all u guys ain’t like that. But u sef, try settle down b4 it’s too late. Next thing now na monopause lol.
First time here and I think I’m hooked.
I waNna here more,lemme learn
Lol,I can imagine!!!guess u r made 4 each oda….
So cannot wait to share my escapades. Monday ooooo
Omg!!dis is cool…cnt wait 4 monday!
Nice one both hunter and bush meat. Keep it up can’t wait for d next episode ,Ў☺ΰ guys Å̶̷̩̥͡я€ d bomb kudos
Omgg!!! I’m sooo hooked. Very interesting piece, thumbs up!!!
hi
really interesting babes…. ……i relate dis……wud go on to d next. I guess i wud b looking forward to Monday mornings and ur blog:-)
Hmmmm, i am hooked now Oyin……i guess i wud b looking forward to Monday mornings and ur blog:-) and i totally relate with this…..lol
This is hot and spicy, episode 2 plssssssssssssss. hmmm, wat will be d next thing on oyins mind seeing kalu right in front of her after lying not to be going out.
Well well well! I’m still a rookie i reserve coment till d end
iLove!
Hehehehehehehe,make the tory continue na,kalu on point,babe find another lie give am joo…
Nice read…humourous and realistically entertaining ..
Shit happens!tell d fella it was a one night stand n be done with it!
i want to know what happen when you saw Mr kalu
Nice one namesake
goshhhhhhhh:) oyin you know it is always better to call a spade a spade….no mincing words with some guys you call a one off heheheheheehe,thumps up TL
Yeh! Your lie haff turn to weist! LOL!
Hmmmmmmmmm interesting
Nice!
Intriguing,can’t wait 2know were all dis ends.
Jst finished playin ball n I’m supposed to be headed for the shower. Got this link from a friend n here I’m captivated by the amazing literary skills of the writer,and myt I add,I’m still stinking!loli’m loving this story n I can confirm that u just got a follower in me!!!!!
This is the 1st time I’ll be sent a link and reply! I hardly drop a comment! But really ds is a great story line! Can’t wait to hear the rest of It.
A good quite interesting story its a hmmmmmmm……….
OMG… Love this blog. My friend just sent this to me.
Hmmmmm oyin all I can say is wow.
OMG! I love u already! Lmao at all the descriptions, I can totally picture them.
Awesome! Seriously lmao….can’t wait 4 d concluding episode
So said… Am loving this story already. Nice write up Kanyisola 😉
Life of a single girl in Lagos. Brings Sex & The City vividly to mind.
LMAO #bbmrollingonthefloor smiley# I didn’t know there was a spinster’s prayer oooo, abeg how does it go? ‘Our father who art in heaven…..then what next?’ Lol
Hmmmm…and so it begins….am hooked!
Lovely piece…suspense is def at d right areas.chillin for d next episode!
Lovely piece…suspense placed in d right areas.chillin for d next episode!
lol hot damn! How to get out of this one?
Lmaooooo……
Lol
Hilarious and interesting but stems from a lot of talent for descriptive writing
Excitin story
Hmm interesting…… Next plesae
can’t wait to read the next episode
Wow nice story I can’t imagine the way oyin felt wen she boomed into kalu dat’s the height anyway cool story think i learnt a lot 4rm dat tho!
Babe, ds is suspense @ the ‘wrongest time’! Now I have to wait for the browser to load! Hope u carried ur ‘lying bag’ out that night o?
Fate can be a bitch sometimes….Guess you’ll just tell Kalu the girls decided to hang out
Of course the girls decided to hang out joor abi wetin nah? Oga Kalu..ur own sef dey too much.wetin Kalu sef dey find for Club? Very creative writing with perfect descriptive skills, good beginning&a jaw dropping Suspense style …thumbs up TL !
Love ds die just can’t wait for the next episode…
Nice! Nice!! Nice!!! I Ι̥۵♈ƹ dis story oh! Cnt wait for d nxt episode
Dis z soooo cul………
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Great piece! I cant seem to stop ‘wow..ing’
i can relate to this, nice story *winks*
Lmao…hilarious
Wow
LOL
I’m hooked…tls u can like to marry me
Oh! Shit! Trouble!
Captivating! Where on earth is the rest of the story?!!!!!
Lool!! I guess in the end girls just want to have fun!, even though they choose “ideal” over “real” and kalu is pretty much “real” here!, d fact dt she’s single is nobody’s fault and definitely not kalu’s.
Soooooooo coool
=))º°˚˚˚°ºнaĦaнaº°˚˚˚°º=)) ha!. I really wanna knw what Kalu said or if somehow you could twist the story! lol
Why did you stop there nowwwww! Good effect though. =))º°˚˚˚°ºнaĦaнaº°˚˚˚°º=)) ha! What did you tell Kalu?
Luv dis,cnt wait 4 the nxt episode!
=))º°˚˚˚°ºнaĦaнaº°˚˚˚°º=))!! Anticipating the follow-up piece..
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Interesting,looking. 4ward 4 more
Buhaha=))º°˚˚˚°ºнaĦaнaº°˚˚˚°º=))
I love this,hmmm can’t wait for the next episode
Yeaa rite….nice 1…buh seriously, I really feel u shldnt b soo bugged wiv dat….like seeing kalu…afterall, u don’t gve 2 hooks about him…soo u cld alwaiz find a way out like ‘soo’ I came cs my fwends wanted me to… Well….I’ll b expecting 2 read d rest of d story…only if u complete t..
niceee… 😀
Interesting. Can’t wait for d nxt episode
Wow…
Nice piece! I love d story!
Earnestly waiting for D̶̲̥̅ next episode
Lyk seriously? Oyin mst av felt lyk she shld close her eyes again nd open dem 2 her apartment …lmao
Nice one… Can’t wait to find out where dis will lead to…
Very good story
LOL
Can’t wait for the next episode
Soooooo BUSTED!!!
Nice and Interesting
Nice!
Lol
Me likey
This is creative enough for me. The suspense slap on my face was good. Really waiting for the next episode. Nicely written……….
OMG I hate being caught… Nice 1
Wow! Can’t wait to hear d concluding part of Oyin’s story. Soooo interesting!
Nice one!
My dear, am also single but u need 2 free ur self 2 get wat U want.
Is not yet late 2 amend ur ways, ok.
Lmfao! Dat shit cray
Atlast!!! I’ve been able to read episode 1. Hehe,dat cld be really awkward… Wonder wot lie u wld tell again and let’s hope ur quick thinkin wld save u 4rm dis one.
Chei, God bless Wunmi for sending me this link. This is hilarious. Every Monday ba? It is a date.
Good job
Amen! 😀
Wow,i cnt wait d concludin part of ds story
Hmmmmmm ladies
OMG. Can’t wait to know wat happens next.
Nice piece!!!! Can’t wait for the concluding part….
Hehehehehehehehehehehe! Caught on the wrist.
Very very fasinating story!!!awwwww pwetty much dan I xpected!!! Thumbz up
Nice one,keep it up
Suspence….on τ̲̅☺ d next one *in W4s voice*
Lollllll!!!OmG….dis is hillarious….reminds me soooooo much of me….cant wait to hear the final revelation….lollll
Is this fictional or real? If it is, I’m loving it.
“traditional, yet liberal”….I..N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T B.O.S.S
lazioman.blogspot.com
OMG!!!!!!!!!! ………. Lmao!!!!!!! I can only imagine!!!!!……. I did die if I were the one……L☺l
OMG!!! I can’t imagine wat happened here. Thumbs up
Really nyc…had me goin till i gott the fullstop lyk fullstop
Interesting!! Oyin U̶̲̥̅̊ got 2 publish d next episode asap. Seriously cnt wait
Hmmm!! Interesting
Noice!
Burnt n roasted…=)) =)) =)) laffº°˚ ˚°º≈ interesting, plzz keep it up. Thumbs up!
Pls full story
♒ђåª•ђåª•ђåª♒ funny tale
Nice one
its always gud to tell d truth , cos truth is always nake, lies wear cloth, cos if u tell Kalu dt only d bride to be and one other friend show up, so u guys decided to hangout, remember u ve to lie again to cover d second lie. kalu may see dt ur friend u introduced as bride to be somewhere mayb with someone and then ask her is this ur hubby, please to met u sir. think abt it and ur friend has forgotten who Kalu is
So lovely
Smiles,I want to know what happen to her after seeing Kalu
Where was I all along?????
I looooove this story! Eet is defnitly not a weiist my lurv! Dunt werry! U ganna gate ya lurv!
“I was about to give the person “bad eye” when our eyes met. I felt like entering the ground. It was Kalu”…hehehehe…Ghen Ghen!!! Let’s c wt hapons nxt.
xcc
Mega Plaza seafood!!! ~~> Awesome!!!!!! *finger licking meal*
Can’t wait for episode 2
Loooool. Very entertaining. But you’re lucky. That’s a very easy lie to get out of na. I’llJust say, “the hen nite was boring at home. So we decided to take it out. We just came here to eat so we can go to the club. I dint bother to inform you cos its ladies only. Shikena!
Hmmm, ladies 4 show
Damn gurl!!!Am at the edge of ma seat now, i gotta hear wha happened!!!!! This is so interesting!!!
Oyin! Just tell him your Mind right there! See… Sorry Kalu, can’t u see?? It just can’t work out between us 2…. 🙂
Luvly
Yeee kpa! My gf must not read this o. See method of eliminating guys. Bad market.
i can read this episode over n over again
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Interesting details. I learnt a couple of tips. Fine story, suitable for a Nollywood film.
There are many faults in the writing. E.g. the use of mannerisms, slangs and vernacular language, unconventional use of some words, several mechanical inaccuracies and spelling errors, making it too informal and sub-standard for a wider range of audience. Except I’m made to believe that the story is exclusive to Lagos-based readers.
I admire the style of narration (what’s it called again?), with the modern elements and the currency of details. It’s a good side if it can be well-managed such that readers can easily discern whether it’s a real or fictitious story they’re reading.
Fascinating though, but the smart-lie things have got to continue…lolz
Heard about ur website from a friend of mine and decided to give it a try. And i absolutely love it!
Kalu saw her…big deal! Her plans changed along the line now haba! Nice job T! Can’t stop smiling. Continue pwease
Nice..
Everyone loves what you guys are usually up too.
This type of clever work and reporting! Keep up the superb works guys I’ve included you guys to blogroll.
Love it! Gosh… It got me wanting for more… Next chapter please!
I’m stale…….. Yea I know. I just found d blog * long smile #covers face
Can’t stop luvn oyin clegg!readn again!
nice one, what happens next?
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Nice! Nice! Glued to my phone……someone sent this to me…Wasn’t sure I was gonna enjoy it but wow!! Impressive! I’m definitely reading every episode….lol…and I’m not one to read stuff!!… hehehe….
Hey There. I discovered your blog the usage of msn.
That is a very smartly written article. I will make sure to bookmark it and come back to read extra of your useful information.
Thank you for the post. I’ll definitely comeback.
I am really impressed with your writing skills and also with the layout on your weblog.
Is this a paid theme or did you customize it yourself?
Anyway keep up the nice quality writing, it is rare to see a nice blog like
this one these days.
Magnificent beat ! I wish to apprentice while you amend your website, how can
i subscribe for a blog site? The account helped me a acceptable deal.
I had been a little bit acquainted of this your broadcast offered bright clear concept
Ooouchhhh, #one eye#
interesting story !cant wait for the next episode !!
Came across this wen I got a tweet to vote for one Baba Risi’s illustration. I gotta say I’m super impressed, this story just captivated me n I can’t wait to get started on the rest of the episodes. Thumbs up Tunde!!!
Nice 1
*winks*i wish kalu wil grab u so passionately dt u can hardly resist…ooooppppssss*winks*
nice piece dude
I know her quick lying will save her!
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