Finding Hubby – Episode 1

My name is Oyinkasola Olaitan Clegg. I am a lady. I am 35.  I am single. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with me. But I have had to say this either verbally or otherwise to so many people in the course of the last few years that sometimes I begin to wonder if there’s really nothing wrong with me. Don’t get me wrong, they don’t come and tell me “you are not married Oyin, something must be wrong with you” no, they would never do that. But say it, they did, loud and clear.

Let me not bore you with those parts of my life. As a background, I am a good looking Yoruba girl, well shaped the way African men like their women, with flesh in the right places. I have a first degree from the University of Lagos and a Masters Degree from the University College, London. I am tush, fresh and a high flyer. I even have the dream job, a CSR person in an oil firm. And I like to live life to its fullest. These are the stories of my encounters, escapades and experiences as I search for the man who will leave his family and cleave to me. Who will love me forever. Who will make my life eternal bliss. Okay, okay, okay, I am doing it again. I tend to project the stories I read into life. Never mind, I am old enough to know that stories are just that, stories.

Its Friday night. And when you say that in Lagos social circles, it could only mean one thing; ditch the suits and let the short dresses, body hugging jeans and bust enhancing tops come forth. And so I called up my friends Toke and Gloria and we agreed to meet up at Mega Plaza to start the night with some chips and seafood. I shutdown at five O Clock and drove straight home to my apartment in Carlton Gate Estate in Lekki. Inside the house, I flopped into my couch and turned on my companion at home, my TV. Now pardon me, but I wonder how life must have been before the TV. If I was lost on an island and I could take only one item along, it had to be either my BB or my TV (see how we have a knack for reducing things to two letter words). As I settled in to rest in reserve for the long night ahead, my phone rang.  I glanced at the screen to confirm who it was. It was just Kalu. I was hoping it would be somebody else. I had been ignoring bb messages from him all day and I guess he calculated I’d be off work now and decided to call.

Okay, a little background on him. I am 35 and single (I know I’ve said it before but I need to re-emphasize) so when I really need to get some and there’s no serious person around, I do the phone select. Here’s how it’s done. You pick your phone and scroll through your contacts list and eliminate men based on certain criteria. What you want is a no strings attached person who will not interpret a night together as an invitation to a long term relationship. So you cancel out the fervent toasters, the guys who have been having settling down conversations with you (considering you didn’t consider them settling down material and latch on all the while you’ve been having such conversations) and other such over-serious people. By now, you’ve narrowed the list down. Then you eliminate those who are in places so far it requires too much effort to see. I stay in Lekki, so if you stay in places like Ipaja, Ikorodu and the likes, I ex you from the list. Now I have a probable list. Then I go into the fineries of history together, attraction and settle on a few options. I then put a call through to the best option of the lot and drop a few hints. If he catches on, game on. If he doesn’t, I round the conversation off and move on to the next until I hit jackpot. This was the rigorous screening process I had put Kalu through, but we get wrong sometimes. I was very wrong with Kalu. After the night together (that’s a story for another day), he became all he wasn’t meant to be. Clingy, intrusive and needy.  

Anyways, back to the present. I picked the call and the conversation went something like this

Kalu: Hey Princess

Me: Kalu, whatsup (I called him his name, he should get the message)

Kalu: You haven’t responded to my messages all day

Me: I’ve had a full day.

Kalu: But you read all the messages, it said R here. You could have sent a small message. Anyways, you said had, so your workday is over. Are you going out?

Me: (Warning bells, anything I say now will have Kalu trying to be a part of whatever plans) Yes. I’m home now. No I’m not going out, I have a wedding tomorrow and want to rest

Kalu: Okay, I’ll buy dinner and come over.

Me: (Alarm bells) Thanks for the offer Kalu, but the girls are using my pad for a Hen night for the bride to be.

Kalu: (sighs). Okay, I’ll see you after the wedding tomorrow.

Me: Call me before heading o.

Kalu: Goodnight love

Me: Ciao.

Whew. That was close. Quick thinking, quick lying saved the day. Now to rest and get ready for the night out.

At 9:45, I was ready to go out. I was hot, hot, hot. In fact, I was so hot, I was burnt and roasted, lol. I said the spinster’s prayer and stepped out of the house. I hooked up with my girls at Mega Plaza. If you haven’t tried the chips and sea food there, then you are a weist! We shared two plates and by then, it was eleven O clock. We touched up and smiled past the bouncers, very glad with the effect we saw our collective hotness was having (you notice babes look finer as a group than alone)

We took the elevator and then the small flight of stairs up into The Marquee. Lagos sha. People that were at work complaining of tiredness a few hours ago at work were here grooving away. As I was stepping in, someone bumped into me on his way out. I was about to give the person “bad eye” when our eyes met. I felt like entering the ground. It was Kalu.

173 thoughts on “Finding Hubby – Episode 1

  1. Hhhmmmnn.. Intriguing can’t wait to find out where Oyin’s romantic shenanigans leads her!! Great job TL 🙂

  2. Nice story,I love this episode,I can imagine †ђξ racing of †ђξ heart when oyin saw Kalu,ahahahahah,can’t wait for †ђξ next episode

  3. I very captivating story by my friend, I wish him more years in this.
    Oh I almost forgot, isi mgbaka is a song I can’t trade. Thumb up man.

  4. Well, go gel! U rock, d lie was calculated, buh kalu must b a sneak and show spoiler! Haba, must he now show up @ nite again, ugh! So. .. ?

  5. U don’t owe him any explanation after all u guys ain’t like that. But u sef, try settle down b4 it’s too late. Next thing now na monopause lol.

  6. Nice one both hunter and bush meat. Keep it up can’t wait for d next episode ,Ў☺ΰ‎​ guys ‎​Å̶̷̩̥͡я€ d bomb kudos

  7. really interesting babes…. ……i relate dis……wud go on to d next. I guess i wud b looking forward to Monday mornings and ur blog:-)

  8. Hmmmm, i am hooked now Oyin……i guess i wud b looking forward to Monday mornings and ur blog:-) and i totally relate with this…

  9. This is hot and spicy, episode 2 plssssssssssssss. hmmm, wat will be d next thing on oyins mind seeing kalu right in front of her after lying not to be going out.

  10. goshhhhhhhh:) oyin you know it is always better to call a spade a spade….no mincing words with some guys you call a one off heheheheheehe,thumps up TL

  11. Jst finished playin ball n I’m supposed to be headed for the shower. Got this link from a friend n here I’m captivated by the amazing literary skills of the writer,and myt I add,I’m still stinking!loli’m loving this story n I can confirm that u just got a follower in me!!!!!

    • This is the 1st time I’ll be sent a link and reply! I hardly drop a comment! But really ds is a great story line! Can’t wait to hear the rest of It.

  12. LMAO #bbmrollingonthefloor smiley# I didn’t know there was a spinster’s prayer oooo, abeg how does it go? ‘Our father who art in heaven…..then what next?’ Lol

  13. Wow nice story I can’t imagine the way oyin felt wen she boomed into kalu dat’s the height anyway cool story think i learnt a lot 4rm dat tho!

  14. Babe, ds is suspense @ the ‘wrongest time’! Now I have to wait for the browser to load! Hope u carried ur ‘lying bag’ out that night o?

  15. Of course the girls decided to hang out joor abi wetin nah? Oga Kalu..ur own sef dey too much.wetin Kalu sef dey find for Club? Very creative writing with perfect descriptive skills, good beginning&a jaw dropping Suspense style …thumbs up TL !

  16. Pingback: Oyinkansola Clegg: Finding Hubby …Episode 1 |

  17. Lool!! I guess in the end girls just want to have fun!, even though they choose “ideal” over “real” and kalu is pretty much “real” here!, d fact dt she’s single is nobody’s fault and definitely not kalu’s.

  18. Yeaa rite….nice 1…buh seriously, I really feel u shldnt b soo bugged wiv dat….like seeing kalu…afterall, u don’t gve 2 hooks about him…soo u cld alwaiz find a way out like ‘soo’ I came cs my fwends wanted me to… Well….I’ll b expecting 2 read d rest of d story…only if u complete t..

  19. This is creative enough for me. The suspense slap on my face was good. Really waiting for the next episode. Nicely written……….

  20. Lollllll!!!OmG….dis is hillarious….reminds me soooooo much of me….cant wait to hear the final revelation….lollll

  21. Is this fictional or real? If it is, I’m loving it.

    “traditional, yet liberal”….I..N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T B.O.S.S

  22. its always gud to tell d truth , cos truth is always nake, lies wear cloth, cos if u tell Kalu dt only d bride to be and one other friend show up, so u guys decided to hangout, remember u ve to lie again to cover d second lie. kalu may see dt ur friend u introduced as bride to be somewhere mayb with someone and then ask her is this ur hubby, please to met u sir. think abt it and ur friend has forgotten who Kalu is

  23. “I was about to give the person “bad eye” when our eyes met. I felt like entering the ground. It was Kalu”…hehehehe…Ghen Ghen!!! Let’s c wt hapons nxt.

  24. Loooool. Very entertaining. But you’re lucky. That’s a very easy lie to get out of na. I’llJust say, “the hen nite was boring at home. So we decided to take it out. We just came here to eat so we can go to the club. I dint bother to inform you cos its ladies only. Shikena!

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  26. Interesting details. I learnt a couple of tips. Fine story, suitable for a Nollywood film.
    There are many faults in the writing. E.g. the use of mannerisms, slangs and vernacular language, unconventional use of some words, several mechanical inaccuracies and spelling errors, making it too informal and sub-standard for a wider range of audience. Except I’m made to believe that the story is exclusive to Lagos-based readers.
    I admire the style of narration (what’s it called again?), with the modern elements and the currency of details. It’s a good side if it can be well-managed such that readers can easily discern whether it’s a real or fictitious story they’re reading.

  27. Kalu saw her…big deal! Her plans changed along the line now haba! Nice job T! Can’t stop smiling. Continue pwease

  28. Everyone loves what you guys are usually up too.
    This type of clever work and reporting! Keep up the superb works guys I’ve included you guys to blogroll.

  29. Pingback: Finding Hubby – All The Episodes | tlsplace

  30. Nice! Nice! Glued to my phone……someone sent this to me…Wasn’t sure I was gonna enjoy it but wow!! Impressive! I’m definitely reading every episode….lol…and I’m not one to read stuff!!… hehehe….

  31. Hey There. I discovered your blog the usage of msn.
    That is a very smartly written article. I will make sure to bookmark it and come back to read extra of your useful information.
    Thank you for the post. I’ll definitely comeback.

  32. I am really impressed with your writing skills and also with the layout on your weblog.
    Is this a paid theme or did you customize it yourself?
    Anyway keep up the nice quality writing, it is rare to see a nice blog like
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  33. Magnificent beat ! I wish to apprentice while you amend your website, how can
    i subscribe for a blog site? The account helped me a acceptable deal.
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  34. Came across this wen I got a tweet to vote for one Baba Risi’s illustration. I gotta say I’m super impressed, this story just captivated me n I can’t wait to get started on the rest of the episodes. Thumbs up Tunde!!!

  35. Pingback: FINDING HUBBY BY TUNDE LEYE (REBLOG) | Titithedynamite.

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