The Ahosi – Short Story

the-ahosi-cover

Happy New Year Everyone!

One of the pre-colonial African kingdoms I’m most fascinated by is Dahomey. And one of the things that fascinates me the most about it is its all women military corps known by westerners as Dahomey Amazons but who were called called Ahosi by the Dahomeys themselves.

I was away from work for almost a month in December into January and I remembered a comment I made on Rinsola Abiola’s @Bint_Moshood’ tweet and decided to write this story. It might be the start of a book, it might not be, who knows. For now, enjoy the short story. Hopefully it introduces you to the world of the Ahosi.

DOWNLOAD PDF HERE DOWNLOAD LINK 

It’s also available on Okadabooks.

Where To Buy Guardians of The Seal

So we had a fab fab time at the Guardians of the Seal launch yesterday. Now it’s time to buy and buy and buy the book

Here’s a list of all the places you can buy the book. Please share with everyone you know.

We’ll be coming to your town soon and there’s something we’ll be doing online for everyone soon too.

where-to-buy-guardians-of-the-seal

ONLINE NATIONWIDE

  1. KONGA – http://www.konga.com/rovingheights | http://www.konga.com/guardians-of-the-seal-2886469
  2. JUMIA – http://www.jumia.com.ng/rovingheights
  3. ROVING HEIGHTS – http://www./rhbooks.com.ng/product/guardians-of-the-seal/

E-BOOK IN NIGERIA

Please follow the following steps

  1. You can download directly from the Okadabooks app by following this link HERE or
  2. Download the okadabooks app from Google Playstore or the AppStore for Apple
  3. Register, or login if you already have the app
  4. Search for Guardians of the Seal in the Store section of okadabooks
  5. You’ll need to fund your wallet with any of the options the app offers.
  6. Once your account is funded, buy the book and read from within the app

AMAZON FOR BUYERS OUTSIDE NIGERIA

  1. PAPERBACK – Simply go to Amazon.com and search for Guardians of the Seal or click on this link http://www.amazon.com/Guardians-Seal-Tunde-Leye/dp/9789462514/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1474877021&sr=8-2&keywords=guardians+of+the+seal
  2. E-BOOK ON KINDLE – Simply search for Guardians of the Seal or click on this link http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01KZEOGYG

BOOKSTORES IN NIGERIA

LAGOS

  1. Laterna Ventures, Oko Awo Street, Victoria Island
  2. Patabah Books, Shoprite, Surulere
  3. The Hub Media, Lekki Palms
  4. Terra Kulture, Tiamiyu Savage, Victoria Island
  5. Glendora, Ikeja City Mall
  6. Jazzhole, Awolowo Road, Ikoyi
  7. UNILAG Bookstore, University of Lagos, Akoka
  8. Florence and Lambert, Palmgrove, Lagos
  9. TREM Bookshop, TREM Headquarters, Gbagada

IBADAN

  1. The Booksellers, Magazine Road, Ibadan
  2. The Options Bookstore, Oyo Road, Ibadan

IFE

  1. Obafemi Awolowo University Bookshop, Ile Ife

PORT HARCOURT

  1. Bookville, Mummy B Road, Off Stadium Road, Port Harcourt

ABUJA

  1. The Booksellers, City Plaza, Ahmadu Bello Way, Garki II, Abuja

ABEOKUTA

  1. The Booksellers, Arokoje Junction, Obantoko, Abeokuta

MINNA

  1. AMAB Books, Sa’ad Plaza, Opp MI Wushishi Estate, Minna

 

Guardians of the Seals Launch Invite

Invite for GOTS Launch

 

Hi TLSPACERS,

It’s been a long long while. What we took a break from blogging for is ready.

Since you’re my first constituency, I’m specially inviting you to the Launch of my newest novel, Guardians of the Seal

  • Date: September 25th, 2016
  • Time: 4 to 7 PM
  • Venue: Fourpoints By Sheraton, Oniru, Victoria Island

We’ll have music, reading, spoken word and a very special performance. There’ll also be pre-event cocktails and a fun photobooth. You’ll only need to be prepared to buy at least (of course you can buy more) copy of the novel.

For those that won’t be able to make it down, the novel will become available in bookstores, online on Konga and Jumia in Nigeria. Outside Nigeria, you’ll be able to order either hardcopy off Amazon or as an e-book on your Kindle or Scribd.

And please share on social media with the hashtag #TLGOTS

Thank You

Guardians of the Seals Cover for Okadabooks 1

Peep The Guardians Of The Seals Cover

Hi everyone.

Hope you enjoyed Yobachi.

So here’s the news. We’re done with most of the design work for my next novel, the epic fantasy Guardians of the Seals. We’re still a few months away from final release, but I absolutely love the cover. I just had to share with you guys.

You can share the image on social media using the hashtag #GTS.

Cover design by Ayomidotun (@iamAyomidotun on twitter) for Lucid Creatives.

Guardians of the Seals Cover Page

TL

Yobachi – The Novella

Yobachi Cover

It’s been a while I posted fiction here. It was all for a worthy cause (adjusts my shining armour). It’s been to finish the next Tunde Leye novel, Guardians of the Seals. I can tell you now that it’s edited, cover design done, page-planned and ready to go to press. It’s scheduled for release for the second half of this year.

In the meantime though, and because I’ve been away for almost a year now, I’ve put together this novella for you. It’s called Yobachi, and it’s based on the early life of one of the Nigerian writing legends. Let’s see who guesses right who this writer is in the comments. One more piece of good news – the novella is available for FREE download. It’s my way of saying, sorry I’ve been away for so long, and anticipate the novel. 

  1. Download the PDF file from the dropbox link CLICK ME and read using any PDF reader on your devices
  2. For android users, download the Okadabooks App from Google Playstore, register and search for the book. You can download and read within the app free of charge.

I’d like to tally how much downloads this gets, so if your people ask for the e-book, give them the link and not the file. It’s free so don’t pirate o :).

You can Tweet, Instagram, Facebook, Nairaland, BBM, Whatsapp and blog about Yobachi. Please use the hashtag #Yobachi when you do. I am @tundeleye on twitter.

See you when #GOTS gets released

 

T.L

Eid Post – Thou Shalt Not Jump

Here’s a short post for my Muslim Readers to say Eid Mubarak. Enjoy.

TL

Diving Women

What Happened

BBM Conversation Between Zara and her boyfriend, Hakeem on Sallah Day

Hot Zara: Hey Baeeee. Barka de Sallah, my sugarbunch. How is Naija?

Harkhim: Men, Sallah is live here. Boring London Sallah you must be having *tongue out*

Hot Zara: Go away. See you, the muslim community is growing here o. We are even killing ram at the mosque today, though some animal rights people dey come sha.

Harkhim: Imagine. And we, we are doing ram fighting here in Surulere. They are not serious.

Hot Zara: So, I have a hot, sexy picture for you. Cos, bae.

Harkhim: *rubs palms*. Oya, send it sharply!!

Hot Zara: Ashawo. Send a picture of you first.

Hakeem quickly takes a selfie and sends it to Zara quickly with the caption “no time”.

No response.

Harkhim: PING!!!

Harkhim: PING!!!

Harkhim: Why are you not responding now?

Harkhim: PING!!!

Harkhim: PING!!!

Harkhim: So you are ignoring me now?

Hot Zara: Hakeem. I’ve had it with you. You know I’m all alone here in London, being faithful and all. Yet you just keep cheating on me there in Lagos. I cannot come and kill myself at my young age please. It’s over. Have your fun.

Harkhim: HA! Zara! How did we go from sharing hot picture to breaking up? Kilode? Talk to me!

Harkhim pings and pings but gets no response. He calls and calls, but no response.

What she told her friend after the breakup.

Zara: Imagine. God just used this Eid to bless me and reveal the cheating bastard. And they warned me about him o.

Fatima: He was just using you to shine jare, having correct babe doing masters in London, he’s still carrying those razz Surulere amala shitta girls. Good you dumped his ass!

Zara: No time. He took the picture without clearing his bed. He didn’t know her underwear was still in on the bed and the picture showed it clearly. See how God exposed him.

Fatima: Abeg, there is better fish in this London jare. (In her mind “ode, London boys will deal with you. Me I’ve taken Hakeem’s number, you didn’t know”)

What Happened At Hakeem’s After The Breakup

Hakeem is sitting on his bed, confused, not knowing what and why Zara suddenly broke up with him. Soji has joined him and is saying now

Soji: Hakeem, there can only be one reason jare.

Hakeem: En en. And what might that be?

Soji: She don see new bobo for London, and she was just looking for an opportunity to dump you for him

Hakeem: Hmm. Makes sense. Na so all these girls dey be? She never know London boys. Dem go deal with am en, she go hear am.

Soji: Wo, today is Eid, don’t let her spoil our turn up jare.

A lady rushes into the room in just towel.

Hakeem: Hadrat, how many times will I tell you to knock before you enter my room. Abi which type of younger sister are you sef? See now, I have a visitor and your barge in almost naked.

Hadrat: Which visitor? Is it Soji that is visitor? Mtchew. This one that I can drop my towel in front of now now. Soji na blood now.

Soji grins sheepishly and Hakeem slaps the back of his head (popularly called “ogo” in Yoruba).

Hakeem: Oniranu, na your sister o, so cancel that thought I just saw flash through your mind.

Soji: So you, you now read minds ba? Wondafu!

Hadrat: Wo, you people should shift on that bed jor. I think it’s here I took my bra and pant off yesterday and I forgot to take it to my room when I left.

Hakeem: You this girl, how many rooms do you want to be using in this house? You will off cloth in the parlor, off skirt in mummy’s room, off top in your room and come and off bra and pant in my room. Mind yourself o.

He looks behind him and sees her underwear there on the bed. As if picking a dangerous object, he picks each up with the tip of his finger and tosses it to her.

Hadrat: E se, thank you.

With that she left the room, with Soji’s eyes following the jiggling of her bum with each step she took. Hakeem made a mental note to keep his friend away from his sister. She might see him as a brother, but he definitely didn’t share the same sentiments.

His phone rang. It was a U.K number.

Hakeem: See o, Soji, na U.K number. She must have come to her senses and is calling back. I go show am first.

He picked the call. It was not Zara’s voice that said hello to him.

“Hello, this is Fatima, Zara’s friend. See en, Zara is now seeing someone here, and that’s why she broke up with you like that. Don’t take it too badly. Some of us understand the value of our true Nigerian brothers than Zara sha o” she giggled.

Hakeem gave Soji the “you were right” look and then continued the conversation with this interesting sounding Fatima.

The Makeup Artiste

Right people. So, in the spirit of le wedding, decided to write a short story centered not around a bride or groom or any of the usual suspects in wedding stories. This one is about the make-up artiste. Enjoy.

TL

woman painting

Agnes Omotola Braide. Daughter of a Yoruba woman and an Igbo father. If you had read the story you are about to share on any blog, you would curse the person out in all the languages you speak as a daughter of Jezebel, sent from the pits of hell and who had the hottest parts of hell as the only destination they were good enough for. But here you are, naked except for the sheets you are wrapped in. The movement beside me called me back to the present. One touch, and fire ran through my body, enhanced by a second feeling I refused to admit I felt. But it was there, gnawing at my heart, clipping at my heels.

Forty eight hours earlier, I had woken up to the worst news possible for a young twenty eight year old Nigerian girl. Here in Nigeria, at twenty eight, you are already at the line of joining the “so you have not seen someone to marry you” crowd, that crowd that the Nigerian society unjustly does everything to tag as failures at womanhood. What keeps you going though is when you have a man everyone knows is your own. In the local parlance, you guys are “serious” and it’s only a matter of time before he drops on one knee and produces the shiny stone that you’ll pretend to be surprised to see when in your mind you are really saying “what took you so long?”

So, here was my twenty eight year old self, waiting for my Tega to do it. A little about us. I’m a make-up artiste, one of the best known in the country. Brides book me months in advance for their weddings and I’ve been in almost every Nigerian state and all the usual Nigerian wedding destinations like Dubai, London, the U.S, Bahamas and Seychelles to make brides pretty on their big day. Tega, on the other hand, was a suave advertising firm owner. Eligible bachelor extraordinaire, I’d met him before his rise began, and we had been together for six years now. I still think of this wrongly. It hasn’t sunk in. What I meant to really say is that we were together for six years until 48hours ago. That Thursday morning, as I was preparing to go and make my latest bride up for her engagement ceremony, I was making my early morning rounds on the blogs when I first saw the pictures. It was on every blog, every single one of them. Tega had gotten married to that witch the day before.

For two years, I’d known about her. She was his side-chick, but it had never been serious. I had initially made a humongous scene and quarreled with Tega. I was in the “how could he” phase at that time. But even as I fought my man, it seemed to push him further into her arms. My wiser friends borrowed me brain and I wised up. She was the side-chick, and I was the main one. I needed to behave like my status. So I gave Tega a stern warning that I didn’t want to see or hear about her again and then ended the quarrels. He was genuinely relieved. He stayed off her for a few months, but men are so hopeless when it comes to these things. He codedly started seeing her off and on again. I was tempted to throw a tantrum, but decided not to follow those instincts and turned a blind eye. It worked. It seemed the side-chicks changed but none ever got really serious. Tega and I moved steadily towards the marriage train. Until I got the shocker of my life that morning. Apparently, I had been the side-chick for a while and hadn’t known. He had married her. She was from the right elite family and not a hustler like me, and Tega probably calculated that he would ride on her name to get into the highest circles of society. My wising up now seemed like the most foolish thing to do.

But I, Agnes, being the strong woman I believe myself to be, packed my work things and went to Lekki Phase 1 to the bride’s family house and got to work. She was pretty, but oh my, she was one bridezilla. I normally would have left the venue to go and chill in my hotel room and prepare for the usually hectic wedding day, but decided to stay back so I wouldn’t be alone that day and start dwelling on dark thoughts. Better to postpone the evil day and party away. It was a decision I wish I hadn’t taken now.

It was while at the engagement that I listened to him. He said the words he knew would get to me. He knew me better than I thought he did, it would seem. My head told me to hit him over the head with a spiked baseball bat, that he was evil, but my heart refused to listen. It clung to his words desperately squeezing out comfort from them. Hasn’t he gotten himself a wife, you foolish girl, my head said. But my heart shouted louder, why can’t he be yours, even if it’s just briefly? You will regret this! My head screamed but I didn’t listen still. As the day wore on, the alcohol made the voice of my head fainter and my heart was roaring. Very bad combination for a heartbroken girl in denial.

“You’ll be late,” the silky male voice beside me reminded me that Saturday morning. “You know she can be a real bridezilla if you keep her waiting.” He said this with a leery smile on his face. That feeling shot through me again and I didn’t fight it this time. In my time, I had done the figurative walk of shame a couple of times before, but this was the first time the guilt caused me real shame. I was going to the bathroom get ready to go and do the make-up for the bride whose groom still lay naked in my hotel room bed.